Faith sat on the big leather couch in the lobby of the apartment building as the first handful of girls arrived along with a Watcher by the name of Bryce Owen. He was far younger than Faith expected a Watcher to be—barely five years older than her, Buffy, and Xander if she was any judge. He introduced the three girls from England, four from Scotland and two from Spain, but Faith forgot their names almost the instant after Bryce did the introductions. He and Giles immediately went off to discuss things with Giles privately in the one bachelor apartment near the main door that he was slowly turning into his office.

Buffy was off with Xander and Dawn—where, exactly, Faith wasn't sure. She just sat on the couch with her feet propped up on the coffee table and her arms folded over her chest, Kennedy to her left mimicking her almost exactly. Neither of them said a word to the new girls and with the tall redhead it had become a staring war as she stood by the far wall and looked over at both of them. The other girls talked quietly to each other, but that girl had distanced herself and the anger could be seen like sparks of fire in her eyes. It reminded Faith all too much of the amount of anger she'd once had and to feel that Slayer strength on top of the deeply rooted anger really messed one up nice and good.

"What was her name again?" Kennedy asked, keeping her voice low as she turned to look at Faith.

"Fuck if I know," Faith laughed as she shrugged and leaned back further into the couch. "Ya heard what Giles said last night. There's gonna be close to a hundred girls showing up by the end of the week. The name thing can wait. It's just tough shit if anyone expects me to remember all those fuckin' names right off the bat."

"Why do I feel like I'm going to have a constant migraine living here?"

"Probably cos ya will. Just stock up on the booze. It'll take the edge off."

"Great, turning into a raging alcoholic to deal. That's your plan?"

"Never said I was gonna. Buffy gets all bitchy if I have more than a few beers," Faith said and let out a sigh as she leaned forward and rested her arms over her knees. "Not like I mind. Fuck, I'd do anything for her and she knows it."

"You really love her, don't you?"

"Ain't even a question anymore."

"You two came back from that...place...completely different, you know that?"

"How so?"

"Just overall," Kennedy said as she absently waved her hand around, struggling to find a way to describe what she was trying to say. "I know you came back all super-Slayers and everything, but there is something else. Willow said something one night about it and now...now I can't remember a fucking word she said to me about it!"

"Breathe, Ken. No need to get all worked up over it. Not a big deal," Faith said calmly, offering a small smile as Kennedy breathed in and out deeply as she struggled to keep control of her emotions. "Y'know, I'm startin' to think all that barrier spell bullshit is just that—bullshit. It's somethin' else."

"What?" Kennedy asked, blinking as she tried to catch on to what Faith was talking about. "Where did this all come from?"

"Been thinkin'. Something fuckin' fishy is goin' on with Angel and I don't think everything he's told us is actually true. Don't know what else is goin' on either, but I'm sure as hell gonna figure it out before shit goes down."

Thinking was, in fact, nearly all she'd been doing the entire morning since she woke up to an empty bed and the sound of Buffy talking quietly on the phone to Angel. She didn't have to guess, she just knew. It bothered her too since Buffy didn't tell her what Angel had talked to her about and it wasn't like it had been a brief conversation either. Faith knew she'd been on the phone with him for hours. Something was seriously going on with him and for some reason he was trying to meddle in their lives and screw up the good thing she and Buffy had together. After that phone call, Xander and Dawn had shown up at the apartment and Buffy had taken off without so much a word to Faith other than she'd see her later.

They didn't get the chance to talk much more when Giles and Bryce walked back into the lounge and instructed the girls to come with them as they assigned three to an apartment, the redhead girl singled out for the time being. Giles motioned for Faith and Kennedy to tag along and they did without hesitation seeing how they really had nothing else better to do until patrol that night. Kennedy was bored out of her mind and she wasn't being quiet about it either, complaining about it every chance she got once Giles and Bryce were out of earshot. Faith ignored her for the most part, trying to look interested in showing the girls around the building. Perry had gotten the deed for Giles and it was now in his name. The only problem was a few of the tenants, but Giles said he was dealing with them and that they'd be out by the end of the month.

The amount of things that had happened in such a short while made Faith's head spin and as soon as the girls were settled in, she headed to her apartment and slammed the door loudly behind her. She let out a relieved sigh when she found Buffy lying on the couch flipping through a magazine, looking rather bored as she tossed the magazine to the floor. She smiled as Faith approached the couch and crawled from one end to the other, hovering over Buffy and leaning in to capture her lips in a soft kiss.

"How'd everything go this morning?" Buffy asked as she shifted and slipped off the couch leaving Faith lying there rather confused. "I take it that you've met Bryce?"

"Yeah. Everything went okay, I guess," she shrugged as she sat up and watched as Buffy walked over to the stereo and flipped it off. "How 'bout you, B? Where'd you go off to all morning?"

"Shopping," she said with a bright smile. "Lots and lots of shopping. I swear Xander was ready to kill me and Dawn when we wouldn't leave this one store."

"Oh?" Faith asked, amused at how excited Buffy got over such a tedious task such as shopping. "What's the damage, B?"

Buffy just shrugged, smiling coyly as she and Faith raced to the bedroom. She tried to stop her from going in, but Faith was too quick and slid past her as she opened the door. She burst out laughing at the amount of bags and clothes strewn throughout the room and she turned to look at Buffy as she stood in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest and a pout forming over her lips.

"Think ya went a little overboard, B. Where the hell we gonna put all this?"

"Don't know," she shrugged, trying not to smile as Faith walked over to her and wrapped her arms tightly around her. "I saw a few things I thought you'd like so I picked them up for you. If you don't like them or if they don't fit, I can easily take them back."

"Don't know why anyone ever thought you're selfish, B."

"What?"

"Back in Sunnydale, people talked. Always called ya selfish and what not. So which one of these bags got my goodies in it?"

"Who said I was selfish?" Buffy asked, not budging from the door as Faith took it upon herself to go through the many bags strewn over the floor. "Faith?"

"Y'know, the girls stayin' at the house talked a lot at night. Ya definitely weren't their favourite person I can tell ya that much," she shrugged and picked up a big white paper bag and looked inside. "This one mine, B?"

She didn't bother to wait for Buffy to answer her, dumping the contents of the bag out on the bed. There were a few pairs of jeans and some tank tops, black and red, a few white. She let out a soft laugh as she turned to Buffy and raised an eyebrow at her.

"What?" Buffy asked, smiling as she walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "I love when you wear those beaters. You look so sexy."

Faith whipped off the t-shirt she was wearing, then grabbed the white tank top off the top of the pile and pulled it on. It contrasted nicely with her now tanned skin and she spun around to look in the mirror, checking herself out thoroughly. She couldn't deny that she did look good, that she did look sexy, and she turned to look back at Buffy with a rather predatory smile creeping over her lips. She leaned down to kiss Buffy, who stopped her and pushed her back, instead holding up one of the pairs of jeans.

"What, now I'm supposed to put on some kinda fashion show for ya or somethin', B?"

"I just want to see that everything fits," she replied easily as Faith slid off the jean shorts she was wearing and pulled on the pair of jeans Buffy had tossed her way.

This went on for nearly half an hour, Buffy barely saying a word, but the appreciation in her eyes saying more than enough. Faith tried not to think about how weird Buffy was acting, not with her wanting to try on all the clothes she'd bought for her, but in the way that she'd push her away every time she'd try to kiss her. Faith tried to ignore those voices in her head that were telling her that whatever Buffy had talked about with Angel earlier was making her act this way. She kept on the black tank she'd put on last and changed back into her jean shorts, it being much too hot to wear anything else. Buffy was already up from the bed and trying to find a place for the mountains of clothes she'd bought.

Faith stopped her from walking out of the bedroom once she'd finished putting everything away and she stared into her eyes, trying to figure her out without even asking her what was wrong. Buffy didn't say anything and she gave her a quick kiss before she slipped out of her arms and walked out of the bedroom quickly. Faith groaned as she followed her, flopping down onto the couch and watching as Buffy padded around the kitchen trying to straighten it up a little bit. Faith knew her well enough now to know that something was definitely bothering her. She could see it just in the way she moved, the way she breathed, and the way she'd look at her when she finally allowed their eyes to meet from across the room.

Buffy came back over to the couch and sat down next to her, not giving her a chance to take another breath before she pulled her in for a deep kiss. Any prior thought that Buffy was acting off was gone and she chalked it up to restlessness on her part. Buffy pulled back from the kiss slowly, smiling as she moved to straddle Faith's legs. Faith knew all Buffy wanted to do was kiss her and let everything else on her mind to go away just for a little while. Faith was more than happy to oblige, pulling her in for another deep, passionate kiss as she too let everything in her mind disappear. It wasn't always about sex, but when Buffy kissed her like that, it was hard to keep her hands to herself.

"Are you hungry?" Buffy asked, almost breathless as she pulled back from the kiss.

"Ate pizza with Ken earlier."

"Oh, before I forget," Buffy said as she trailed her fingers up Faith's arms slowly, "Xander should be coming by soon. Giles had him get a few intercoms. He's going to put one in here."

"Sounds uh, convenient?"

"It's just so nobody has to physically come get us if we're needed."

"I know what an intercom is, B," Faith chuckled softy. "What's up with you today?"

"What do you mean?"

"What'd you and Angel talk about earlier?"

"I was trying to get some answers out of him about everything that had happened before with Julie, with the barrier spell and everything. Feels like we're missing something because it all..."

"Doesn't add up," Faith finished, nodding in agreement and relieved she wasn't alone feeling the way she had been before. "Whatcha think is goin' on?"

"I don't know."

"Well," Faith sighed as she looked up into Buffy's eyes. "We'll figure it out somehow, B."

"I'm sorry if I seem...off today. That phone call with Angel kind of...upset me."

"What did he say to you, B? Was he givin' you shit about being with me?" Faith asked and Buffy nodded her head a little. "Well fuck what he thinks, B. I don't get it. When he came around that first time he didn't seem to have much of a problem with it. I'm thinkin' he's jealous cos you and I have what you two never could before."

"That's exactly what Dawn said earlier when we were out. She told me he's just jealous of you and that he isn't handling our relationship so well," she said, laughinga softly as she reached up and tucked Faith's hair behind her ears. "He's never been able to handle me being with anyone else too well."

"Nah, and ya can't blame him either. To tell ya the truth, I can't handle you being with anyone else either. Never could. Maybe it's one of the reasons why I fucked everything up before."

"I..."

"Knock, knock," Xander said as he slowly opened the apartment door, not yet opening it enough to see the two of them on the couch. "Everyone decent?"

"Come in, Xander," Buffy said, slipping off of Faith's lap after planting a soft, loving kiss on her lips.

He opened the door some more and walked in carrying his toolbox, which he instantly set down on the floor. He smiled over at both of them as he kicked the door shut behind him. The door had barely been shut for half a second before it flung open again and Kennedy just took it upon herself to come in. In spite of the irritation Faith could see in Buffy's eyes, the blonde still forced a smile over at Kennedy as the junior slayer sat down on the other end of the couch. Faith let out a soft sigh, knowing the interruptions were likely to make for one hell of a long afternoon when all she wanted to do was talk to Buffy and try to figure everything out.

 

---

 

All they wanted was answers—real answers—and now that they all suspected they couldn't trust Angel they were right back at square one. The two of them went off on patrol by themselves and even though they knew they should have separated, they stayed together and headed for the closest cemetery hand in hand. The sun was about to set and they had a good half an hour before any vampires would dare show their faces. Faith led the way through the cemetery and came to a stop near one of the many benches haphazardly placed along the pathway and sat down.

"Can ya believe this?" Faith asked, finally breaking the silence that had been between them since they'd left the building. "Of all fuckin' people, you'd think we could trust Angel."

"You'd think so," Buffy said softly as she sat down next to her and pulled her stake out from the back of her jeans. "Then again, he's got a lot going on down in LA. He doesn't talk about it at all, but...you know there is stuff going on that he's trying to deal with."

"But why pull shit with us? Cos he can?"

"Wish I knew. He does keep telling me that what I feel for you isn't real. I know it is and yet..."

"Don't fuckin' listen to him, B. Y'know what I think? I think this whole deal with the effects from the barrier spell is a truckload of bullshit. He knew somethin' was happening between us and he just couldn't fuckin' stand the thought of it. Angel is a good guy, gotta hand him that, but he ain't been himself lately. I picked up on it the last time he was here."

"I think something is happening to his soul," Buffy said quietly as she stared down at the stake in her hands. "Willow and I talked about it once before, about what would happen if he turned into Angelus again. She told me she had plenty of reason to believe that nobody, not even her, would be able to restore his soul if he ever lost it again."

"Ya think he's been Angelus this whole time and been playin' us? Cos I'm seriously startin' to wonder if I'm right about that."

"Since when?"

"Since I started thinkin' 'bout it this morning."

"After you heard me talking to him," Buffy said flatly, shaking her head as she stood up from the bench. "What if we're right? What if he is Angelus? Angel wouldn't want to be left that way if there's no hope for anyone to restore his soul."

"Let's not jump to any conclusions just yet, B. Giles is on it and with his new best buddy I'm sure they'll dig up some answers soon enough."

"I'm starting to think he was working with Julie and her family," Buffy said quietly as she started pacing in front of Faith. "Why, I don't know, but I got that feeling before and just shrugged it off to being a little...scared of what could really happen to all of us with someone like Julie around."

"You were scared of her, B?"

Faith knew for a Slayer to admit that kind of weakness, admit to being afraid of someone or something, was a hard thing to acknowledge even just in their own mind. She also didn't want to force Buffy to talk about it, to voice her opinions on the whole thing if she wasn't sure about them herself. She watched the blonde as she paced the ground in front of her, spinning her stake in her hands as she breathed in and out deeply.

"You know why I was scared of her? Because she was unpredictable, not to mention completely crazy too. I know we can't always be lucky and win at the end of each battle, no matter how big or small it really is. The thing with Julie...it opened my eyes and showed me that no matter what we all do, the world is never going to be safe for more than a day at a time."

"What do you think we should do about that then, B? Give up?"

The hopelessness in Buffy's eyes broke her heart and she stood up and quickly wrapped her arms around her before Buffy could say another word. She knew that life was shit at times and that the life of a Slayer had more than its fair share of that shit and was far from normal. She had been trying her best to live her life as normal as she could and give Buffy a little taste of it too. Nobody else but the two of them knew just how hard it was. The new Slayers didn't know and they probably never would now that there were hundreds, if not thousands of them all over the world. It started to sink in what Buffy was reaching for and she wanted it too. She wanted to run from her life as Buffy wanted to run from her own, even if it was just for a little while.

She kept her eyes and ears open for any vampires who were waiting for the second the sun set to come creeping out of whatever shadows and corners they were hiding in and she just held onto Buffy, conveying as much understanding as she could with the silence they shared between them. Just like in other small moments like this, Faith was starting to understand more and more what it meant to be in a relationship and what it meant to love and be loved. It meant never having to deal with things on your own, at least not completely. It meant being there for the other person in any way you could even if it meant just holding them to make them feel safe and not alone.

"We should..." Buffy said as she backed up from Faith but didn't drop her arms from around her.

"Yeah, gettin' dark. Don't wanna be standing here lookin' like prey now, do we?"

"No, definitely not," Buffy said as she let out a short, sharp laugh and finally stepped away from Faith completely. "Tell you what; if it's fairly quiet tonight, we'll head home early or..."

"Or?"

"Or we can find a club and go dancing for a couple of hours. We haven't...not since..."

"Sounds good to me, B. Gotta let loose and find the fun sometimes."

"Yeah," Buffy smiled, the tense uncertainty and hopelessness fading from her eyes as Faith smiled right back at her. "Come on, let's go find something to kill."

"Like the way ya think sometimes, girlfriend," Faith chuckled as she followed Buffy deeper into the cemetery, the Slayer inside her coming alive as she felt those first faint tingles deep inside indicating there were vampires nearby.

They walked throughout the cemetery for a couple hours, not once coming across a vampire or even a demon. The disappointment was felt in both of them and they finally gave up, stopping by the apartment to quickly change their clothes into something more suitable for a club. They ran into Kennedy, Satsu and Carmen on the way down the stairs and from the look they all shared, they all planned to do the same thing. Faith knew there was a club close by and after avoiding anyone else on the way out of the building, they headed down the street and around the corner to a club that was rather crowded for a Monday night.

Faith ushered them all to the front of the line, slipping the bouncer a twenty after flashing a flirty smile his way. He let them right in, the groans and protests coming from the crowd following them as they walked inside. She kept a hold of Buffy's hand as she led them through the crowd inside, manoeuvring her way to the bar at the far end of the club. She instantly had the bartender's attention and ordered them a round of shots and a pitcher of beer with five glasses. Carmen was already kicking a group of college guys out of a booth furthest away from the dance floor and the rest of them joined her, taking a seat around the small table as Faith, Kennedy, and Satsu juggled the full shot glasses.

"Now this is more like it!" Carmen laughed as she set the pitcher of beer and the glasses down on the table. "Anyone else up for ditching patrol to do this every night?"

"I don't think my liver could handle doing this every night," Satsu laughed as she wedged her way onto the seat next to Buffy. "Aren't you going to drink that, Buffy?"

Satsu pointed to the shot glass that had been placed in front of her, the only one on the table that still hadn't been touched. Buffy shrugged and picked it up, downing it as quickly as she could and forcing a smile as she slammed the glass onto the table.

"I think I'll just stick with beer for the rest of the night," Buffy said quietly so only Faith managed to hear her. "Hard liquor and me, especially whiskey, do not mix very well."

"Just ain't used to it, is all," Faith said, smiling as she slipped an arm around Buffy and pulled her out of the booth, heading straight for the dance floor without another word.

She was trying her best to take her mind, and Buffy's, off of everything else and only trying to enjoy themselves and let loose for a little while. She led her to the middle of the crowded dance floor, snaking her arms around Buffy's waist as she began to move to the fast beat of the club music that blared loudly, the bass floating through both their bodies like a second pulse. This was definitely the one thing she loved to do more than anything else—to dance, to get lost in the music, to feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins as she moved effortlessly with and against whatever warm body that she found near her. And in this case, it was Buffy and would only be Buffy all night long. This was her woman, her girlfriend, her lover, partner, friend and she'd be damned if she let anyone get too close to her.

Buffy seemed free and without a care in the world as she danced against Faith, nearly grinding her hips against Faith's as she pulled them closer together. The tempo of the music slowed and it was only then that Buffy opened her eyes, looking at Faith almost as if she was surprised she'd gotten so lost in the music and in her. Faith didn't hold back, leaning in to kiss her, half expecting Buffy to push her away since she knew she wasn't all that comfortable with the PDA in front of so many people—strangers really. Buffy surprised her, sliding her hands to the back of her neck and pulling her in for a much deeper and more passionate kiss as she pressed her body as close to Faith as she could manage without sending them tumbling over and down to the floor.

Faith broke apart and looked over at Kennedy and Satsu as they danced a couple feet away, barely visible because of the few bodies in the way but still obviously having their tongues shoved down each other's throats. Buffy leaned into Faith, trying to figure out what she was staring at, but the crowd of dancers moved and the two junior slayers had disappeared. She laughed as she turned back to Faith and pulled her back in for another kiss. It left her slightly dazed when Buffy pulled away suddenly and dragged her back over to the booth where Carmen sat watching Kennedy and Satsu still out on the dance floor together. As soon as they had sat down, however, Carmen was up and walking to the bar, clearly pissed at what was going on between the other two Slayers.

Buffy said nothing as she reached for the glass of beer in front of her. Maybe it was the atmosphere of the club, but as Buffy leaned back into her and let out a content sigh, Faith knew she'd never felt her so relaxed—with the possible exception of those early mornings they'd spent in bed, still awake as the sun rose and light began to fill the bedroom. But that all faded as soon as Buffy spotted Kennedy and Satsu out on the dance floor.

"What the hell is she doing?" Buffy asked as she turned to Faith. "What a skank."

"B..."

"You're siding with her?"

"Not siding with either of 'em, just saying," Faith shrugged as she took a small sip of her beer, "everyone deals with grief and guilt in their own way."

"By making out with the girl she cheated on Willow with in the middle of a club?"

"Just don't worry about it, B. We're here to have a good time, that's all," Faith said, hoping Buffy would just drop it and enjoy their night out. "Y'know," she laughed as it finally dawned on her. "B? This is pretty much a date even though we're here with them."

"Took you long enough to figure that out," Buffy laughed and she kissed her lightly on the lips, winking as she pulled away and settled back down against her side. "You feel that?"

"Vamps. Lots of 'em," Faith said with a smile, feeling that tingle over the heavy bass. "Wanna grab the others, check it out?"

Faith motioned to the back room where a handful of people—likely vampires—disappeared behind a door marked 'private'. Buffy went off in search of Carmen and Faith walked over to Kennedy and Satsu, smirking as she tapped them both on the shoulder.

"If you two are done suckin' face, we got some vamps here."

"Now?" Kennedy asked, looking around the crowd. "Where?"

"Now would be a good time to teach them how to rely on their senses and instinct," Buffy said as she walked up behind them with Carmen in tow.

"You've got to be kidding me," Kennedy groaned as she followed Buffy and Faith through the crowd, Carmen and Satsu falling behind and arguing with one another.

Faith tried the door as soon as she approached it, finding it locked. With a little bit of force, she broke it open and the five of them slipped inside and quickly shut it behind them. They were in a hallway with doors lining each wall, all presumably locked as well. Faith was about to head down the hallway when Buffy stopped her. She stayed back and watched the others as they walked casually down to the last door on the left. They watched as Kennedy grabbed the wooden table at the end of the hallway, smashing the legs and grabbing one, tossing the other two a piece for themselves before they forced open the door.

"They can handle themselves," Buffy said pointedly, re-opening the door back into the club as the sounds of fighting drifted faintly from the room down the hallway. She pulled Faith back out into the heart of the club, smirking as she looked back over at her.

"Shouldn't we stick around and—"

"We're not always going to be there for them. They have to learn how to take care of things on their own. Isn't that the whole point of what Giles is trying to do anyway?"

"I know what you're trying to do, B. You're trying to make it so we get some time without them around, really make this feel like a date."

"Maybe...or could be," Buffy laughed as she leaned in to Faith to whisper into her ear, "that I just want to dance."

Buffy pulled her across to the far corner of the dance floor, both of them instantly finding themselves lost within the music yet again. Faith couldn't relax until she saw Kennedy walk out of the door marked 'private' with Satsu and Carmen close behind her. They could handle themselves, she knew they could, but she couldn't help but worry just a little bit about them anyway. Although it was more Kennedy than the other two she worried about, it wasn't the point. They were just as much a part of the family as she was. She recalled the speech Satsu went on with the second night the others had been in California. She'd talked about looking out for each other despite whatever was going on in their lives. Slaying first, real life bullshit and everything else came second.

Pushing aside all thoughts, all worries, all emotions except for the one she felt floating through her like liquid fire, she once again got lost in the moment, in the atmosphere of the club, and in Buffy.

 

---

 

Once they were in the apartment, Buffy went straight to the bedroom and immediately collapsed on the bed. The exhaustion from long hours of dancing had been compounded by dusting a handful of newbie vampires a few blocks away behind a pawnshop. Faith could barely keep her eyes open long enough to strip out of her clothes and she watched with heavy-lidded, tired eyes as Buffy barely managed to wiggle out of her own clothes while still lying on the bed. Faith kept her eyes open until Buffy moved to lie next to her, pulling her left arm so it was wrapped loosely around her. She didn't even need to see Buffy's face to know that Buffy fell asleep with a slight smile on her lips, just as she knew she did too.

She woke a few hours later to the muffled sounds of footsteps out in the hallway. She shifted a little, careful not to wake Buffy as she glanced at the clock sitting on the bedside table. Barely after ten in the morning and definitely not near as much sleep as her body was aching for. She pulled the covers completely over her and Buffy, smiling when Buffy let out a quiet giggle as she laid a few light kisses over her neck and collarbone. Faith knew right then that gone were those quiet mornings and long hours of uninterrupted alone time together. The training deal with the younger Slayers that Giles had going was definitely serious and she knew from the second that soft, frustrated sigh escaped from Buffy's lips, that the reality of it all was really beginning to sink in.

"What time is it?" Buffy mumbled sleepily as she shifted in Faith's arms, trying to get comfortable once again. "It's too early, isn't it?"

"Just after ten. Definitely way too fuckin' early."

"Got two dozen girls coming in today," Buffy said as she pulled the covers down from over their heads and squinted in the bright morning sunlight. "You up for this, Faith?"

"Ain't like I got much of a choice," she shrugged and kept her eyes closed as she heard a faint crash in the apartment above. "Think we could find a way to get one of the apartments on the top floor and away from everyone else? Not fuckin' liking this noise down here."

"Grumpy this morning, are we?" Buffy asked, a teasing smile playing across her lips as Faith opened her eyes and turned to look at her. "Let's just...sleep some more and figure out what to do about all this noise later."

"Suddenly not feelin' so tired anymore," Faith said after a moment as she focused solely on the feel of Buffy's fingers lightly trailing over her bare stomach. They both nearly jumped out of bed at the loud buzz coming from the living room. "What the fuck is that?"

"The intercom?" Buffy shrugged as she stayed in bed, watching as Faith strode out of the bedroom naked and stood by the intercom Xander had installed. "I think you press the talk button, Faith," Buffy called out when the buzzer rang again.

"Yo?" Faith said as she held the small green button with the word 'talk' barely visible above it.

"Sorry for the wakeup call," Xander said apologetically, his voice a little faint, but clear. "Since Giles can't figure this system out, he's got me acting as the messenger," Xander laughed before he cleared his throat and continued, "We're having a meeting as soon as possible. Wake Buffy up and meet us downstairs."

"See ya in ten, Xand."

Faith looked over the panel and found the end button when she heard nothing but static after she heard a slight click. She padded back to the bedroom and crawled back under the covers next to Buffy. She laid on her stomach and buried her face into the pillow, letting out a deep breath as Buffy ran her hands down the length of her back.

"We should get down there, see what's going on," Buffy said quietly, moving to get out of bed only to be stopped by Faith as she blindly reached out for her hand. "Faith, you told him ten minutes."

"Never said minutes. For all Xand knows 'see ya in ten' could mean minutes or hours. Personally, I prefer hours."

"Lazy ass."

Faith chuckled softly as she lifted her head and delivered a sweet kiss she knew would sway Buffy to stay right there with her for a little while longer. Even though she was slightly disappointed when Buffy still pulled away and slipped out of bed, she couldn't hold back the smile as she watched her grab some clean clothes and make her way out of the bedroom. A minute later she heard the shower running and she jumped out of bed and quickly made her way into the bathroom to join her.

They wouldn't make it down in ten minutes and Faith knew someone would buzz them over the intercom or show up at the door when they didn't. But as she stepped into the shower stall and wrapped her arms around Buffy from behind, feeling her melt into her as she trailed her lips in soft kisses over Buffy's shoulder, she really didn't care.

Always getting lost in those moments—moments she'd never had and moments she always wished before that she did. And Robin's words, words she hadn't thought of in what felt like a long time, came fluttering back to her mind as she closed her eyes and revelled in the feel of Buffy against her under the hot spray of the water.

"Not everyone is going to screw you over in the end, Faith. You need to have a little bit of faith in others if you want to know what it's like to fall in love. Let me have that chance. I promise you in the end it'll be worth it. We all make mistakes and we all push others away, but that's what makes us human. All too human."

It hadn't been him she'd given that chance to, but that didn't matter. He had been right all along. The impact of that conversation they had on the bus, in the hours before he took his last breath, would forever stick with her even if she didn't always think about it. If it hadn't been for him, she never would have had that push to find a bit of courage to open up her heart. And if she never opened up her heart, she would definitely not be where she was right now and she wouldn't know what it felt like to be loved by someone like Buffy Summers.

So she thought about Robin, a man who had barely been in her life as time was measured yet had such a significant impact on it. And she wished that there was some way to thank him for opening her eyes and her heart to the world around her. And she hoped that maybe, wherever his soul was, he could somehow feel and know her gratitude. And then she let the moment take her over, thinking of nothing else but the woman in her arms.

They were forty-five minutes late to the impromptu meeting Giles had called that morning and yet nobody said a word regarding their lateness, much to the surprise of the two senior slayers. Everybody seemed to be in a good mood, smiling and carefree—something all too rare since Willow's death. It had only been just over a week since they had lost her. Nobody talked about it, or about her, and even Faith felt that something was wrong with that. Some hours it felt it had just happened, the grief almost crushing. In other hours the grief would recede and allow them, like now, to smile and behave almost normally. The smiles faded, however, when Giles brought some information to light about Angel.

"While you were all out last night I had an interesting conversation with Wesley," Giles started and he shifted in his chair and placed his cup of tea on the table next to him. "It seems that Angel isn't entirely Angel any more. We've come to the conclusion that when Willow restored Angel's soul the last time it was not properly anchored."

"What does that mean?" Buffy asked as she idly stroked her fingers over Faith's jean-clad knee. "He's Angelus again?"

"He's both Angel and Angelus. While he doesn't have any control over the shifts in his persona, Wesley and I both believe he's Angelus more than he's himself."

"I fuckin' knew somethin' wasn't right," Faith muttered under her breath. "So what then, Giles, is Angelus the big bad we gotta worry about now?"

The colour drained completely from Buffy's face as the realization began to sink in. Faith just placed her hand over Buffy's and gave it a gentle squeeze as the room fell into complete silence, nobody believing such a thing was possible, but at the same time everyone knew that something hadn't been quite right with Angel since the first time he'd shown up in Cleveland. Xander was muttering to himself as he paced around the room, occasionally stopping to run his hand over his head before continuing.

"We must not let Angelus become aware that we know what is happening," Giles said, breaking the heavy silence in the room, "and that means we cannot risk telling the Angel persona either. If it comes down to it, Buffy, Faith," he said as he looked over at them, "one of you will have to end this."

"You want one of us to kill Angel?" Buffy asked, her voice choked with emotion as she pushed Faith's hand off of hers. "You can't...ask us to do something like that, Giles!"

"Sure he can, B," Faith said calmly. "Think about it for a sec here. Angel wouldn't want this."

"You don't know what he'd want."

"Faith is right," Xander said as he stopped pacing. "Angel wouldn't want this, Buff. If Angelus has found a way to take him over even with his soul present, there's no telling what'll happen or how bad it will really get."

"What else do you know?" Buffy asked Giles, ignoring Xander completely as she took Faith's hand back in her own.

"We know that the things he has told us about Julie, her family, even about the Hellmouth haven't been entirely true. I do realize we had our suspicions that what he told us was not entirely accurate, but Angelus has complicated things by mixing truth amongst the falsehood and we still don't know precisely which pieces of information were untrue," Giles replied rather calmly. "Wesley has informed me he has sound facts that prove Angelus was working with Julie. It is how Julie and her family knew so much about you two, about all of us."

"It's all just a game, ain't it?" Faith asked him, shaking her head with disbelief. "It's all just a fucked up head game designed to do what...make our lives hell and eventually turn as all against each other? Look," she sighed as she leaned forward, keeping a tight grip on Buffy's hand, "I was inside of Angel's head, inside his memories, and I know what kind of sick fuck Angelus can be, but even then that was nothing compared to what I know he is, what he's capable of. I say we go down to LA and stake his undead ass 'fore he has a chance to do anything to any of us."

"No," Buffy said firmly. "We're not going to go down there and 'stake his undead ass', Faith."

"No? What the fuck else are we s'posed to do then, B?"

"We wait. We see what Angelus is trying to do and we find a way to fix it. We're not killing Angel."

"But—"

"No, Faith," Buffy said sharply. "I told you. We are not killing Angel. This isn't even going to be a discussion! Even as Angelus, he is not a threat to us. Not right now. So we're going to figure out a way to deal with it and fix it. Killing him is not going to solve anything."

"And if we can't fix it, B? What then?" Faith asked, her anger getting the better of her seeing Buffy acting this way. "We're just gonna let him fuckin' play us in the meantime? Is that your fucking plan?"

"For now."

"Buffy, I do not think it is wise to be—"

"Giles, shut up. You are not in charge here!"

"Neither are you," Dawn spat out, tears welling in her eyes as Buffy glared over at her. "Nobody is in charge here, Buffy. You being in charge ended back in Sunnydale. We are all supposed to be working together here, not following your orders."

Buffy was shaking with anger and Faith grabbed her before she could go after Dawn. Faith wasn't sure what had gotten into Buffy, but she knew that talking about Angel, especially if he was Angelus, was a very touchy subject with her. This all felt like the beginning of a storm Faith wasn't so sure they'd all pull through in one piece. She let Buffy go and watched her walk out of there somewhat calmly. She was upset and it wasn't the first time Faith seen little changes in her. The deal with Angel/Angelus and whatever he'd said to her the other morning on the phone was really getting to her.

"Got your smokes on you?" Faith asked Kennedy as she stood up. Kennedy nodded and followed her out the main doors. "Thanks."

"You don't actually want one, do you?" Kennedy said as she offered her the pack and Faith refused.

"No. Just couldn't stand sitting in there any longer."

"Buffy's really upset."

"No shit," Faith said under her breath as she leaned against the brick wall.

"She's going through a rough time with Willow..." Kennedy said softly and she quickly wiped away her tears. "Dawn told me what it was like while they were in California. She didn't tell you anything, did she?"

"No."

"Best I don't say anything then," Kennedy said quietly as she pulled out a cigarette from the pack and lit it quickly. "I think the only thing we can do is kill him."

"Buffy killed him once. Not so sure she'd do it again."

"Then you know what you have to do, Faith."

"Yeah. I know. Tryin' to figure out how without making Buffy completely hate me for it."

"Right," Kennedy drawled, voice positively dripping with sarcasm, "because that's the big huge worry you've got if Angelus turns out to be a much bigger threat than he already is. Buffy loves you, you idiot."

Faith chuckled at Kennedy using her words against her. "Still, Buffy and Angel got this history behind them that barely touches ours and I know that she still loves him. Ain't nothin' ever gonna change that."

"And you're okay with that?"

"Not okay with it, but I get it," she sighed, then grabbed the cigarette from Kennedy's hand so quickly she didn't even realize Faith had taken it at first. "Really could use a break from all of this."

"I think we all need a break. Try telling that to Giles, though. He's a lot more focused on getting all these new Slayers trained and set up around the world than on giving us all a chance to take a little vacation."

"Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, Ken. Life doesn't have any free vacation time. Learned that a long time ago. The only vacation I got from the outside world was when I was in prison."

She knew this was the most she'd opened up to Kennedy so easily, but with her emotions charged up because of the way Buffy had reacted inside, she couldn't help herself. Kennedy understood her, to a point. She never pressed Faith to say more than she felt comfortable talking about. Kennedy was going through a lot herself, they all were, and they were all dealing with everything that had happened in the last two months in their own way. It wasn't always the right way, but everyone made mistakes and didn't always learn from them.

"I should go see if Buffy..." Faith sighed as she finished the cigarette quickly. "She's probably cooled off enough by now and calmed down a little. Last thing I need is for her fist to connect to my jaw and for them to form their own little relationship."

"Yeah. Might be a good idea to keep your distance though," Kennedy laughed as she shook her head. "Sometimes I wonder what you see in her. What do you see in her anyway?"

"It's Buffy. Can't explain it any better than that."

"Oh, this is like a whole connection thing, isn't it?"

"Slayer and otherwise," Faith replied and she flicked the cigarette to the street and headed for the main door. "Think you and Sats could cover for me and B on patrol tonight? Got a funny feelin' she ain't gonna be down for goin' out tonight."

"Sure."

"Thanks, Ken."

Kennedy just flashed an easy smile her way as Faith opened the door and headed straight down the hallway. She passed by the lounge quickly, casting a glance to see if Buffy had come back down and only saw Giles, Bryce and Dawn quietly talking to one another. She nearly ran up the five flights of stairs and down to apartment 5D, not stopping even when she heard Xander and Buffy talking inside the apartment. She walked right in, not caring that she'd walked in on what sounded like it might have been a rather private conversation between the two of them.

"We'll talk later," Xander said as he looked over at Faith, forcing a smile as he began to quickly make his way to the door. "You down for some takeout later? Before you two head out on patrol?"

"Sure," Faith replied and she sent him a look that made him leave just that much quicker. She locked the door as soon as it shut behind him and then tentatively approached Buffy on the couch. "How ya feelin' about this whole sitch, B?"

"I really don't know, Faith. I knew something was wrong. I should have said something before and maybe we could've...maybe Will would still be...and..."

Faith had her arms around her as soon as the tears had formed in her eyes. Faith couldn't say anything and she couldn't do anything other than hold Buffy in her arms while she cried. It was as if the floodgates had been completely destroyed and she had never seen Buffy this vulnerable before. It almost scared her to see Buffy like this, feeling so weak, so helpless, so lost. She knew the feeling all too well, but the pain was deeper for Buffy. It'd be a long time before she got over Willow's death and the events that led up to it. Faith knew that the word about Angel being Angelus had broke open those floodgates and everything else just poured out with it.

"Buffy," she said softly, pulling her more onto her lap and holding her a little tighter. "B?"

"Mm?"

"You do know what I have to do, right?"

"I know," she sobbed as she clutched on to the front of Faith's shirt, stretching it as the material balled up in her fists. "Why do you think I'm so upset, Faith? I know I can't kill him, not even if he's Angelus. I can't...I can't do it again..."

"So what was with that whole scene downstairs?"

Buffy shrugged and let out a sharp laugh as she choked back the tears. "That was me overreacting. I tend to do that a lot, don't I? At least that's what Xander told me."

"You're okay now, right?"

"Working on it," Buffy sighed out. She then inhaled deeply before leaning in to plant a soft kiss on Faith's neck. "Have you been smoking again?"

"Yeah, kinda needed one after Giles dropped that bomb on us like that."

"I like the way you smell when you don't smoke," Buffy uttered quietly and Faith laughed as she lifted the blonde's chin so she'd look up at her. "What? I do. Besides, you promised me when we were...there that you wouldn't smoke anymore."

"Sorry."

It was a lame, half-assed apology and she fully expected Buffy to get angry and lash out at her over it too. It never happened and all Buffy did was let go of Faith's shirt and try to smooth it out, letting out a small, quiet laugh when she realized she'd pretty much ruined it. Faith didn't let go of her and she shifted until she was able to lie down on the couch with Buffy still in her arms. The cuddling thing came as second nature to her now whenever she was this close to Buffy. She really loved the feel of her in her arms, the feel of her warm breath blowing across her neck, the feel of her chest rising with each breath and her heart beating nearly in time to her own.

Her mind was more focused on Angel being Angelus again. She wanted to know more about how that was possible. It hadn't even been that long since the last time Angel had lost his soul, but from what they knew he still had his soul and Angelus had still somehow found a way to take control even with said soul in place. She was realizing that the few times she'd talked to him in the last couple of months, she'd talked to Angelus more than she had to Angel. It was all starting to make a lot more sense now with the things he had said, how his 'information' always seemed to change in the littlest of ways, and his two-sided opinion on her and Buffy's relationship.

There was never one reason why Angelus did the things he did or why he played the games he did. It was just the way he played the game and got his kicks—by tearing apart the people closest to Angel, piece by piece, one thread of sanity at a time. He'd been trying to convince both of them that what they felt for each other wasn't real. Faith knew that was a crock of shit right from the second he'd told her that. She'd always had deep, strong feelings for Buffy and the only difference was that now she no longer fought them or feared them. She hadn't since shortly after that first kiss.

Angelus was no match against her, or even Buffy, not with the power and the strength that they still possessed since Willow pulled them out of that world between worlds. Faith knew she could take him without much of a fight and if the opportunity arose, she'd do it without hesitation. She'd do it despite however Buffy would feel in the end. What other choice did she have? None, really—hoping for the best and hoping that Angelus would stay out of their lives really wasn't an option.

"God, I'm so tired right now," Buffy said softly as she stifled a yawn. "I could seriously use a nap right now."

"What's stoppin' ya?"

"We need to figure everything out."

"And we will, B. Betcha Giles and Bryce are down there figurin' it out with Dawn. They find anything we can use then they'll let us know. We're Slayers, B. I forbid us to do any form of research unless it involves you and me, in bed, naked..."

"Are you ever not horny?"

"Not that I ever remember, no. And I ain't never heard you complain 'bout it either."

"No," Buffy chuckled as she moved to lie more fully on top of Faith. "How could I complain when it's just...amazing when we're together?"

"I got mad skills, yo."

Buffy laughed again, kissing her softly as she straddled her hips. "Yes, you do."

"Can I ask you somethin', B?" Faith asked in all seriousness as Buffy sat back slowly. "If I do gotta take Angel out, it ain't gonna change anything between us, is it?"

"I don't know."

"I don't want it to change anything between us," she said softly. "Come too far to go back to square one now."

"I know how far we've come, Faith. After Angel, I couldn't fall in love with anyone else. I never thought it would be possible for me to fall in love with anyone else, much less you. Feelings like this just don't go away because of things that happen in our lives. Our lives are so far from normal and I've got to learn to accept that I will never have a normal life, not even if I ran from it."

"So, ya thought about runnin' from your life, B?"

"Every day," she admitted easily. "You do too, don't you?"

"No. Despite all this shit, B, I'm the happiest I've ever been and a lot of that has to do with you. I wouldn't want a single fuckin' thing in my life to change."

"Not one thing?"

"Would like to be able to go more than a month without some kind of apocalypse deal about to fall into our laps," she said with a laugh, knowing how much Buffy wanted the same thing too. She'd said it enough in the last two months. "But all this right here and now, B? Even with this training school shit Giles has goin', I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else but here. With you. With everyone else. Feels like I belong here and for once I'm gonna stay right where I belong."

"You do belong here," Buffy whispered as she leaned forward, her lips just brushing against Faith's lightly as she took in a deep breath. "And you belong with me."

"For as long as you'll have me, I'll be here with ya, B."

"Then don't kill Angel," she said, planting a brief kiss on her lips before she slipped off of her and headed for the door.

Faith laid there, unable to keep a single thought straight in her mind. Buffy having a complex in the way that she was, it was throwing her for a loop. She stayed there alone in the apartment for a little while longer before she got up and headed back down to the lobby where she knew she'd find Giles. She only hoped that Buffy had gone off somewhere else because of the things she was going to ask him. She was going to go down to LA as soon as possible and she was going to find Angel and kill him.

And she knew it was the right thing to do despite the consequences that would follow.

 

---

 

Thinking of it brought back those old memories of fantasies she'd had when she first found out about Angel back in Sunnydale. She was a Slayer, he was a vampire, and she'd wanted nothing more than to stake him. Why, was the question she kept asking herself, why didn't she just do it then? She knew if she had, she wouldn't be where she was now. In some ways, Angel was her saviour and he had helped her start out on her path to redemption without hesitating for a second to help her. She wouldn't be the person she was now if he hadn't started her on that path and made her feel as if it wasn't completely hopeless, to not give up on herself and the rest of the world.

"Hey," Kennedy said as she stepped out onto the balcony with two fresh bottles of beer in her hands. "Figured you'd need another. Buffy said you'd been out here for an hour already. You didn't want to be left alone, did you?"

"Just been thinkin' is all," Faith replied and took the offered beer from Kennedy. "Everything is so royally fucked up right now that I'm half expectin' the whole world to break apart any second."

"Don't jinx it," Kennedy chuckled as she stood next to Faith and leaned against the railing. "I wish that Willow was still here. At least some things made a little more sense with her around."

"Yeah," Faith said, turning to Kennedy as she raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you supposed to be out on patrol tonight?"

"Carmen and Satsu are out there with Amber. Didn't feel like going myself. Nobody else knows what is going on with Angel but us. Thinking maybe that's not a good idea and that everyone here needs to know exactly what kind of situation they've walked into."

"I'm takin' care of it. Giles is gonna get me to LA by the end of the week."

"Seriously? And you're just going to what, go down there and take Angelus out by yourself?"

"Ain't got no other choice, Ken. Buffy doesn't know I'm plannin' to go down so soon either, so try to keep this sitch on the down low," Faith said quietly. She looked back through the window at Buffy and Dawn still sitting on the couch and still talking rather than actually watching the movie that was playing on the TV. "I'm gonna lose her either way, Ken. Best it happens after I do the right thing."

"But she loves you. You aren't going to lose her, Faith."

"She might love me, but she still loves Angel too. She doesn't want me to kill him, a part of me doesn't want to either, and yet I don't have a choice. It's the right thing to do. Has to be."

"Well, I'm behind you with whatever you decide to do, Faith. If you think it's the right thing to do, then it's the right thing to do."

"Thanks, Ken."

"You aren't going to tell Buffy what you plan to do either, are you?"

"No," Faith replied with a shake of her head as she turned to look at her. "And you ain't gonna say a word to her or anyone else either. Only you, Giles, and Bryce know what's bein' planned and that's the way it's gonna stay until I finish this."

"Are you sure that's the right way to do this, Faith?"

"Has to be. Ain't no other way to do this, Ken. Buffy doesn't want to take Angelus out cos he's still technically Angel too. Hell, I'm havin' mixed feelings about this myself, but the pull to do the right thing has never been stronger than it is now. Been thinkin' that maybe once I do this, maybe things'll slow down around here and we'll all finally get a fuckin' break for once."

Nobody said being the good Slayer would be easy, but it wasn't even about good slayer and bad slayer. She was the Slayer. The line still ran through her despite the hundreds, thousands of other Slayers around the world. If anything, it was all on her shoulders and she was going to bear the weight of the world even with all the others. It was just the way it was and she was finally beginning to see it and accept it.

She ran a shaky hand through her hair as she looked back inside once again at the same moment that Buffy chose to look over at her. She couldn't imagine losing her, losing what they had, but that feeling she had told her she really would lose Buffy no matter what she did. It sent pangs through her heart and tears threatened to fall, but she held herself together, trying to act as if nothing was wrong at all. She watched as Buffy got up from the couch and headed for the door, stepping out onto the balcony as she silently motioned for Kennedy to leave the two of them alone. And that's when she heard it, ever so faintly, the music being played from one of the apartments a few floors above them.

"I told Dawn to take Kennedy out of here," Buffy whispered as she took the bottle from Faith's hands and set it aside. "Right now, I just want to be alone with you."

"Sounds good," Faith smiled as she slid her hands over Buffy's hips and pulled her in close.

They swayed slowly to the music, a piano playing a gentle melody, and stared into one another's eyes. Something told her that Buffy was fighting something inside of her, fighting not to say the words she wanted to say and choosing instead to get lost in this moment they had together. Faith took the lead by grabbing on to Buffy's hand and spinning her around, smiling at her as she pulled her back into her arms. It was always so easy to forget everything else when she held Buffy close and even easier to become lost within her the instant their lips met in a soft, tender kiss. It felt different this time and Faith could feel Buffy holding herself back from kissing her deeper, more passionately.

It didn't always have to be about sex and she knew that, but it was almost all that it was between them at times. Maybe that was what was making Buffy hold back now and whatever it was, Faith knew she would never really know. Things were changing and she could feel it as she parted from their soft kiss and stared into Buffy's eyes, searching for the answers to unspoken questions. Maybe Angel/Angelus had been right before about not everything appearing to be as it was. So many maybes and not enough solid answers were making her ever so frustrated.

Buffy lifted a hand from her shoulder and ran the tips of her fingers over Faith's furrowed brow, frowning when Faith pulled back from the gentle caress. She loved 'speaking' to Buffy this way, so many things could be seen, almost heard when they shared their moments like this, but she didn't want it right then and there, not with so much on her mind. And the guilt she was feeling already over Angel wasn't helping any either.

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked as she dropped her hand back down on Faith's shoulder.

"Nothing."

"I can almost see the wheels in your head turning, Faith. What's wrong?"

"Told ya, B. Nothing. Just thinkin' is all."

"You're always 'just thinking'," Buffy muttered under her breath. She didn't move away even when Faith dropped her hands from her waist. "It's not going to be like it was before between us ever again, is it? We're going to..."

"Going to what, B?"

"Drift apart," she finished, looking away from Faith as Faith wrapped her arms around her once again. "We already are."

"Nah," she said, forcing a smile as she closed her eyes, leaning her head against Buffy's as she held her tight. "You seem to forget this morning, y'know before Giles dropped that napalm bomb on us 'bout Angel."

"I didn't forget," Buffy said coyly, causing Faith to chuckle softly into her hair. "Do you think we can do this every night?"

"This?"

Faith held her breath, knowing how much more Buffy was saying. Buffy wanted out. She wanted out of slaying, out of Cleveland, just out. Faith understood where she was coming from, at least she hoped she did. For her, all she wanted to do was stay right there and do what she needed to do, fight the good fight since that was her one purpose in life. It wasn't just Angel/Angelus that had made Buffy feel this way. She'd felt it for a long time—too long.

"I know you are planning to go down to LA," Buffy said quietly. "When you get back, Faith...I'm not going to be here."

"You ever coming back?"

Buffy said nothing as she pulled her in for a kiss, whispering 'I'm sorry' across her lips before she backed away slowly. "It won't mean this is over between us, Faith. If you kill Angel, I can't be around you for awhile."

"I get it, B."

"I..." Buffy let out a gasp as Faith tightened her hands over her waist and backed her up to the wall. She looked at loss for words as Faith's eyes penetrated into hers, waiting for her to speak. "I'm not coming back and it has nothing to do with you or what you're going to do to Angel."

"Do what you gotta do, Buffy."

She winced at how heartbreaking her voice sounded. She hated feeling so broken and showing it so openly. Rather than say anything more, she kissed Buffy hard, using her own body to pin Buffy's to the wall. The kiss was bruising and her hands were still gripping onto Buffy's waist, which she knew was bordering painful at that moment. Her hands quickly unbuttoned Buffy's jeans and she roughly shoved her hand down the front of her pants, eliciting a moan from Buffy as soon as her fingers brushed over her clit. What Faith was feeling was primal and the urge to claim Buffy as her own was too much to ignore.

"Nobody is ever gonna be able to touch you like I do," she whispered against her lips. "Nobody is ever gonna be able to make you feel as good as I can."

"Faith..."

She silenced her with another crushing kiss as she lazily rubbed over her clit, feeling a flood of wetness pour out as Buffy moaned again. She teased her for a moment longer before she pulled out her hand and began to back Buffy up towards the door, her lips never leaving Buffy's until they reached the bedroom. She half expected Buffy to stop her, but when she didn't, she made quick work of getting her out of her clothes and didn't bother with her own as Buffy laid back on the bed. Faith stood there for a moment just staring down at her and she slipped off her shoes and crawled over the bed towards her.

It was almost as if she was trying to imprint the sight of Buffy naked, ready, and waiting for her in her mind. Buffy looked tense, she looked scared, and she looked like she couldn't wait for Faith's hands, lips, and tongue to worship her.

"Faith, take your damn clothes off."

"No."

Her lips found Buffy's sweet spot on her neck just below her ear and when Buffy tried to tug at her shirt, she grabbed both her hands and pinned them against the mattress by her head. Faith pulled back, quirking her eyebrow as she reached over for the handcuffs in the bedside table drawer. She knew Buffy could easily break them without even trying now, but she knew she wouldn't. She handcuffed her hands together and made her grab onto the bars on the headboard.

"Don't move," she whispered softly and she felt Buffy shudder beneath her.

Faith began to kiss over her jaw and across her neck slowly, nipping at the skin, dipping her tongue out for a little taste as Buffy's breathing quickened. Her whole body was itching to be naked, to feel the soft slide of Buffy's skin against her own, but it'd have to wait until she was finished imprinting every last inch of Buffy into her mind. She knew this would be their last time together for god knows how long and she was going to make it last for as long as she could. She trailed her lips over Buffy's collarbone and then down across her breasts. She circled each nipple slowly with the tip of her tongue, feeling each one harden under her touch.

Buffy could hardly control herself as Faith kissed over her stomach, stopping when she reached her bellybutton and dipped her tongue lazily inside. She knew every last inch of Buffy's sweet spots and she was determined to hit every single one of them before she was through with her. She moved back up towards her breasts and nipped at the skin at the side of her ribs, smiling as Buffy let out a low moan that reverberated through her entire body. Faith pulled back suddenly and sat back, staring down at her, watching as Buffy looked right over at her, whimpering as she bit her lower lip as it began to tremble.

Faith knew she was going to cry and she nearly ripped off her own clothes, but kept it together, trying to stay cool, calm, and collected. She ran her hands up Buffy's legs, watching her as she spread them wantonly for her, her pussy already wet, glistening with need.

"Faith...I need you to...touch me."

"I am touching you," she whispered, trailing her hands up past her knees and inner thighs impossibly slow, knowing how much it was driving Buffy crazy and how hard she was fighting to keep her hands above her head. "Don't ever want to stop touching you, B."

Her words were mumbled and she felt like she was stuck in a trance as her eyes swept over Buffy's body, soaking in every last inch. She moved to lay between Buffy's legs and she blew hot air over her pussy before taking a rather tentative swipe down her slit. Buffy's hips bucked up at the touch and she whimpered at the loss of Faith's tongue when she pulled away. This was about claiming, not just pleasing, and Faith had every intention of making that be known without saying a word. She kissed over the insides of Buffy's thighs, marking her, biting so hard she nearly broke the skin. If it bordered on painful, Buffy didn't mind as each bite elicited a series of soft, whimpering moans.

Faith closed her eyes for a moment as she felt the sensation of tingles spread throughout her body with every inhale she took of Buffy's sweet, wet pussy. Buffy wrapped her legs around Faith's shoulders as she dove in suddenly, plunging her tongue as deeply as she could into her hole while gripping her hips to keep her from bucking up into her face. The moans escaping past Buffy's lips as she gasped for air were turning Faith on immensely. She'd never felt her body so charged up, so ready, so wanting. With one hand she managed to unbutton her own jeans and wriggle out of them with a bit of a struggle. She pulled back from Buffy's pussy, gasping to catch her breath as she pulled off her shirt and quickly slipped out of her bra. She went right back to it, sliding two fingers deep inside of Buffy's hole while her lips wrapped around her throbbing clit, no longer out to tease, only to please.

As soon as Buffy let go of the headboard and threaded her fingers through Faith's hair, she pulled away with a sly smirk creeping over her lips as she grabbed onto Buffy's hands and pulled them away. She slid up her body slowly, her eyes burning into Buffy's as she felt every inch of their bodies touching. Every second that ticked by made this feel that much more bittersweet than it already was and despite trying not to think about that, the tears sprang to Faith's eyes, every inch of her breaking apart as she struggled to hold it together. She didn't move, she barely breathed, as their lips met in a soft kiss. One so full of passion, of love, it made her fall apart even more.

"Oh!" A yelp came from the other end of the room and they broke apart from the kiss to see where it'd come from. "Goddess, I'm sorry!"

"Willow?" Buffy said quietly, the words barely slipping from her lips as she looked over at a non-corporeal Willow standing at the far end of the bedroom.

"The Powers that Be sure have a quirky sense of humour," Willow said with a laugh, holding her hands over her eyes as she made her way across the room.

"Willow?" Buffy asked again as Faith pulled the sheets up over their bodies and struggled with the key in the handcuffs. "Aren't you—you're not really here, are you? Faith, is she here?"

"Why don't you two throw some clothes on and join me in the other room? I have so much to tell you. All of you."

Buffy was shaking slightly, blinking past the tears as she and Faith both watched as Willow walked right through the closed door. The only thought Faith had at the moment was what the fucking hell?

Buffy sat awkwardly on the arm of the chair Faith had been sitting in for the last half an hour as they all listened to Willow tell them what had happened after she'd died. The Powers That Be were behind her soul's return to the world since it hadn't been her time to die just yet. The Powers had plans for her, of course, but Willow wasn't allowed to tell them what most of those plans were.

Buffy hadn't said a word since she and Faith had left the bedroom and she hadn't even looked at Faith once since the soft kiss they shared before they'd gotten dressed. Their bittersweet goodbye, as Faith was now referring to that moment between them, had been drastically cut short by Willow's sudden and unexpected arrival and she knew it was a moment they'd never get back. Not today. Definitely not tomorrow. She wasn't going to say they'd never get a chance to be together again because she wanted to keep her options—and her heart—open. She knew she should've been paying more attention to Willow instead of just thinking about her and Buffy and where they now stood, especially after what Buffy had told her.

"When you get back, Faith...I'm not going to be here."

The words cut through her heart like a knife, and every time she heard them over and over again in her head the knife plunged deeper into her heart, twisting it until she just couldn't take it any longer. She almost wished Buffy hadn't chosen to sit right there with her, but the seating around the apartment was limited with everyone else in there listening to everything Willow had to say. It'd been too much all day, first with Angel, then with Buffy basically breaking up with her while telling her they weren't really breaking up, and then Willow pretty much coming back to life as a very non-corporeal Willow who could babble a hell of a lot longer than she'd ever been able to before.

Giles had been least surprised when he found out Willow was back even if she wasn't entirely herself. He had said—before Willow went into babble mode—that he had halfway expected the Powers That Be to send her back as she was much too powerful a witch and a force for good for the Powers to allow her death so early in life to stand. Xander could hardly believe his eye and he nearly choked on his Coke when Willow explained how the Powers sent her back directly into Buffy and Faith's bedroom. Kennedy couldn't stop laughing at that and Buffy, who Faith half expected to be embarrassed about it, just sat there looking a little spaced and unaffected by the whole thing. That was until Willow said something about handcuffs being a 'new fashion accessory' in their bedroom.

Even in all the seriousness of the moment, it caused everyone but Buffy to laugh. Faith just sat back on the chair with a smug grin firmly planted on her face as she waited for the laughter to die off. It made it seem like everything was almost okay again with Willow back there. It felt like she'd been part of the glue that had held everyone together. Her quip about the handcuffs had been funny, but it also brought a lot of realizations to light in Faith's mind, one of which was that this would never be the same between all of them as soon as she left to hunt down Angelus and kill him.

Buffy hadn't said a word to the others about her leaving and not coming back when Faith left to go to LA. She figured Buffy was waiting until after she was gone to talk to the others. They wouldn't like it and they probably wouldn't understand why she had to do it, either—why she had to run away instead of staying right there. Faith actually didn't want to be around when she told the others, so Buffy not saying anything was even working in her favour. She didn't know how much more she could handle, especially since the deal with Angel/Angelus had made her feel as if her world was about to cave in on itself. It was probably exactly how Buffy felt too when it came to Angel. In this situation it made her a little crazy to realize just how much Angel did mean to both of them, for two very different reasons.

"Can you pick things up?" Andrew asked as he stared long and hard at Willow. "Can you walk through walls? Through people?"

"I can't pick anything up, no. I can walk through walls and why would I want to walk through a person? That's all sorts of icky," Willow laughed as she shook her head.

"I think being a ghost is sort of cool," Andrew mused, smiling as Faith swore she could see a nerdgasm about to erupt inside of him. "You aren't really a ghost though, are you?"

"Technically? No," Willow said with a smile. "But it's the popular term so we'll go with that."

Faith chose that moment to leave the living room. After grabbing a beer from the fridge, she headed outside onto the balcony with Kennedy following close behind her. She shook her head and let out a half laugh, half sigh as she leaned against the railing.

"Ever wonder when things stopped surprisin' ya?" Faith asked Kennedy as she leaned against the railing next to her. "Cos I kinda lost track of when that started happening."

"The day I first came to Sunnydale things stopped surprising me," Kennedy replied with a laugh. "I thought I would've been at least a little shocked to know that Willow is back in very non-corporeal form, but it's just like 'oh, really? She's back?' kind of thing."

"Feels like we're losing ourselves somewhere along the way, don't it?"

"Yeah," Kennedy replied before quickly turning to look at Faith. "Wait, you are coming back from LA, aren't you?"

"Yeah. Gotta go where I'm needed and figure I'm needed here. For now."

"What about Buffy?"

"What about her? She's leaving, Ken."

"Why?"

"Just what she has to do," Faith shrugged, trying not to get over-emotional about the whole situation.

"And you are just going to let her go, just like that?"

"What am I s'posed to do then?"

"You love her, don't you?" Kennedy asked and all Faith could do was nod as she willed the tears away. "You know, that whole thing about letting someone go and them coming back if they love you? I'm thinking that's a crock. Don't let her go, Faith."

[Okay, I changed that dialogue because to me it didn't make sense to me originally. You have Kennedy saying "Don't let her go" but then saying "let her go & if she loves you...". I went with Kennedy not wanting her to let Buffy go and so rewrote the dialogue. Just so you know where I'm coming from and why.]

"Heard somethin' like that before, but it ain't got nothin' to do with what's goin' on between me and Buffy. This has to do with her and wherever she's at right now. Me goin' down to kill Angelus is gonna rip her apart inside as much as it's gonna rip me apart," Faith said, sighing as she lowered her head and looked down at the street below.

"Then don't go after him."

"Ain't got a fuckin' choice, Ken. You got no idea how dangerous Angelus is and for him to be actually overpowering Angel, with his soul still inside of him, it's just...I can't let Angel go through this."

"I know. Seems like the theme of the day is 'do what you gotta do' even if it doesn't feel like it's the right thing."

"What are you talkin' 'bout?"

"Satsu," Kennedy muttered under her breath. "I never thought it would be possible to fall in love this fast. I fell for Willow pretty hard, but not like this. Satsu is different. She's..."

"A Slayer. The connection you two have makes the attraction stronger."

"That what it was like for you and Buffy?"

"We got a different kind of connection and those effects from the barrier spell, which—get this," Faith let out a laugh as she turned to look back inside for a moment, "—turned out to be a whole crock of shit."

"Really?"

"Kinda," she shrugged and let out another short, sharp laugh. "Turns out I've always had a little more empathy than your average person. Just shut it off a long time ago. Guessin' the barrier spell and whatever effects it was producin' kinda set it all off."

"Could be. Still doesn't explain why you aren't going to stop Buffy from leaving."

"Cos I can't, Ken. If she needs to get outta here for a while, who am I to stop her from doin' what she needs to do?"

It hurt to think about losing Buffy completely and she knew that after a few days, weeks even, she'd have to make Buffy realize that she needed to be with her and not off wherever she planned to go. Parts of the old Faith were trying to come back, trying to take over who she was now and push her off that last step back into the darkness, into the void where she always lost herself. She hated trying to do the right thing, because the way she saw the Angelus situation there really wasn't any other way to do this. What hurt the most was thinking that nothing would be the same between her and Buffy ever again and she couldn't bear the thought of losing her and the love they'd found together, finally, after all those years.

Faith looked back inside, watching as Buffy, Giles, Xander, and Willow all talked and laughed as if nothing had happened in the last couple of weeks. Buffy looked over at her through the window and those butterflies she always felt whenever Buffy looked at her took off, making her feel a little weak in the knees just thinking how this could be the last time in god knows how long that Buffy would look at her like that, with such love and longing in her eyes.

"When are you leaving?" Kennedy asked quietly.

"Tomorrow, I'm thinkin'."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Willow showin' up like that right when we were...fuckin'—ruined the mood, yo."

They both shared a laugh, but Faith was only trying to cover the sadness in her voice, her laughter fading almost the instant that it started. She didn't want to think of losing Buffy. It just hurt so damn much to let that thought linger in her mind for too long. She ran a shaky hand through her hair as she watched Buffy walk over towards the balcony door. Kennedy took that as her cue to leave the two of them out there alone.

"Hey, you okay?" Buffy asked softly as she snaked her arms around Faith's waist.

"Five by five, B."

"No, you aren't 'five by five', Faith," Buffy said as she shook her head. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything to you before about me leaving and not being here when you come back."

"And what, just done it without sayin' a fuckin' word? Like that'd be any better. Fuck," Faith groaned as she lifted a hand to quickly wipe away her tears. "Do ya see what ya do to me, B? Nobody ever made me cry before."

"Except Robin."

"Different brand of tears, B."

"I don't want to do this, Faith."

"Then don't."

"I have to if you...Angel being gone is...I can't even just think about it right now without feeling a little...empty inside."

"B, you know he wouldn't want this. You know that this is the only way."

"Is it? Willow is back here now. She can figure something out. She'll fix him."

Faith could feel how torn Buffy was feeling right then and it ripped through her like a sharp knife as soon as she saw the tears fall. She knew Buffy didn't want to pick up and leave, even just for a little while, but she knew that there wasn't anything else she could do. It wasn't as if Faith wanted this either. It was the very last thing she wanted and needed right now, but it was going to happen no matter what. It had to.

"Buffy...you know that I gotta do this."

"I know."

"Wish it could be different. Wish things could just keep goin' the way they been, cos—shit, B, I ain't ever been in love before. Don't wanna lose what we got."

"We won't. I won't be gone for too long, Faith. Just long enough to...clear my head a little bit."

"I know, B."

"For once," Buffy said softly as she stared into Faith's eyes and ran her hands just under the hem of her shirt, smoothing her palms over her skin slowly. "For once I thought maybe this was it, that life was finally going to slow down and I could...stop slaying, and just be, and find out who else I am other than a Slayer. Starting to think that's all I am and I can't..."

"You are a helluva lot more than just a Slayer, B."

"I know."

"What do ya say we kick everybody out and continue where we left off earlier?" Faith whispered as she wiggled her eyebrows, trying so hard not to fall into that depressing little hole that she seemed to find herself in now. "Just wanna make love to ya all night long, B."

"Mm, I like the sound of that," Buffy murmured as she buried her face into the side of Faith's neck.

"But?" Faith asked as Buffy leaned back a little so she could look up at her. "But we can't, right?"

"There's a lot Willow hasn't even told us yet. Soon as the pizza Xander ordered gets here, we're going to sit down and talk, or rather listen while Willow tells us everything."

"This is gonna turn into an all night thing, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Think so."

"Think it's too late to duck out and go find some vamps to kill?"

"Faith..."

"What, B? I got a whole lotta tension to work out right about now and seeing how my preferred method ain't gonna happen, gotta compromise somehow."

Buffy pouted as she ran her hands up Faith's back a little and the brunette tried to relax, but found it impossible with Buffy's soft hands running over her skin. "You are really tense, Faith," she breathed across her neck as she planted a few soft kisses there before moving to her lips slowly.

"You tell everyone you're leavin' yet?"

"No."

"Just gonna pack up and leave, huh?"

"I told you. Besides, can we not...talk about this right now?"

Faith let out a soft sigh as she leaned forward and rested her forehead against Buffy's. She just wanted to kiss her and feel as if she were melting away. She didn't want to think of what would happen tomorrow, or the days that followed. She was done thinking of it. She closed her eyes as Xander came to the door, wishing that he'd just leave them be for a little while longer.

"Pizza is on its way up," he said quietly. "Just thought I'd let you two know."

"Yeah, thanks," Faith replied, not letting Buffy back away just yet. "Give us a minute or two, Xand."

"Sure."

She let out another sigh, pulling Buffy in for a kiss as soon as Xander had shut the door. The kiss was soft at first, but as soon as Buffy ran her tongue across her bottom lip Faith deepened the kiss, pulling her flush against her as one hand reached up to tangle itself in her hair. She stopped when she felt the hot tears hit her cheeks and she pulled away slowly, looking into Buffy's watering eyes for a moment before gently kissing away each tear that fell. It caused a lump to form in the back of her throat and she tried to force it away, tried not to think of anything but right here and now.

"We should get inside," Buffy said softly, her words barely making it out as the tears kept falling. "I'm falling apart," she said with a short laugh. "I don't...I wish we didn't have to do this, Faith. I wish that things were different."

"We'll figure it out, B. Always do one way or another, right?" Faith said, forcing a smile as she wiped away Buffy's tears gently with her thumbs. "Ain't like you're gonna lose me forever, B. Even if you do leave, I get it. I'll wait for ya for however long it takes."

"You'd do that?"

"Ya crazy, B? Of course I would. In case you've forgotten, I'm in love with ya," she said with a smile that was a little less forced. "No more tears, B. Let's just go sit with everyone, gorge ourselves on pizza, and listen to what Willow has to say. Okay?"

They shared one last kiss before going back inside to join the others. Jackie was there now and she was talking quietly to Giles. Faith let out a soft laugh knowing that her mother was slowly beginning to fall for Giles. It wasn't as if she could blame her and as weird as it was to see her own mother flirting with her watcher, it felt right at the same time. Willow was talking to Xander, trying to answer all the questions he was asking her, and they both were trying to ignore Andrew as he tried to ask her more about what it was like being non-corporeal. Faith couldn't eat so she just sat in the chair with Buffy perched on the arm, her fingers trailing soft, light patterns over her back where her shirt had ridden up just a little.

As soon as the pizza was eaten, they cleaned up the empty boxes and settled around the living room to listen to more of what Willow had to say. Faith was zoning out and she pulled Buffy down from the arm and onto her lap, snaking an arm around her as she leaned back against her. She did hear bits and pieces of what Willow was saying, about what the Powers that Be had told her. She was, in her own right, a kind of Champion and she was needed here to help fight the forces of evil. One specific thing she did say was that the Powers that Be had told her there wasn't any big apocalypse about to happen anytime soon. She started talking about Angel and how it was pretty much set in stone, that it was fate that Faith would be the one to take him out. Faith felt Buffy tense at that and she kissed the side of her head, trying to reassure her that it'd be okay even if it felt like it wouldn't be.

The more she talked about Angel, the more Faith had to wonder if everything really did happen for a reason. Faith had been right about him, about not being able to fix this. It wasn't meant to happen, according to Willow, and as soon as those words left her mouth Buffy was up and out of the apartment in a matter of seconds. Dawn went after her and Faith just stayed right where she was, knowing that if anyone could calm Buffy down right then it'd be Dawn.

"Did they say when this has to be done?" Giles asked Willow.

"Soon. Every day that passes, Angelus becomes stronger and takes over Angel and his soul a little more. I kept asking if there was a way to stop this from happening, but unfortunately there is no way. Faith," Willow said as she turned to her. "I know how hard this is for you and for Buffy, but whatever you do, you can't let her go."

"How do you—"

"It's rather amazing what the Powers know," she said and shook her head as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I can't tell you everything that they told me, but I can tell you that you cannot let Buffy go. Not yet. Not ever."

"Why?"

"Because you two are...soul-mates, Faith. Surely you already figured that out," Willow said with a matter of fact tone of voice. "They told me you've known since before you met her that she was your other half. You two being together now, it's created a bond, a force so strong that nothing on the outside can break it apart. You can't let her leave."

"Wish I knew how to stop her, Will. But if she's gotta get gone for awhile, I gotta let her go."

"Don't let her go for too long," she said quietly. "Buffy being alone for too long, and apart from all of us, something will end up happening and...she won't be the same."

"People change," Faith pointed out. "I changed. Buffy has too. You all have."

"Trust me when I tell you that you can't let her go, Faith. I already can sense how much it's pulling you apart inside. It's making her feel the same way too."

Faith felt a bit uncomfortable hearing Willow talk about this in front of the others. She knew there was a lot more than what Willow was willing to tell her and it was already starting to drive her a little crazy trying to read between the lines and figure it out for herself. The soul-mate thing made her feel uneasy, but at the same time hearing it acknowledged by someone else made her feel good, made her feel whole. She'd always felt that Buffy was her other half, even back when everything fell apart between them. Buffy was the light to her dark, the other half of her soul—she had felt it every day since that first kiss, and it had only increased as they became closer. Buffy had become her world and she wasn't the only one who saw that. The others started talking quietly, Xander adding his two cents; telling Faith he had never thought the two of them would find something so deep, so real together and that he'd do anything to help them stay together.

Faith got up from the chair, not saying a word as she left the apartment in search of Buffy. She found her in the stairwell with Dawn talking quietly. As soon as Dawn saw Faith coming down the stairs, she whispered something to Buffy and left the two of them alone. Faith sat down on the steps next to Buffy, letting out a soft sigh as Buffy instantly reached for her hand. Neither of them said a word for the longest time as they sat there on the stairs between the second and third floor. Faith didn't know what to say to her, so she opted for just sitting there with her in hopes that Buffy would be the one to talk first.

"Dawn is coming with me," she said quietly after they'd sat there for a couple minutes. "When I leave, she wants to come with me."

"Where ya gonna go?"

"We're thinking Italy. We've never been, you know?"

"Sounds...great."

"Yeah," Buffy replied, lowering her head a little as Faith let go of her hand. "We're using the money I've been getting from Perry lately. It'll be enough for a couple of weeks."

Faith nodded her head and wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. It suddenly felt really warm in the normally cool stairwell. She felt boxed in like a caged animal, waiting for that moment she broke apart and all hell went loose. She clenched her jaw tightly as she stared down at her hands, feeling that darkness running through her body that she was quickly losing control of. This thing with Buffy leaving was feeling more real by the second and if she didn't know any better she'd think that her heart had been pulled right from her chest. She couldn't help but feel a little afraid that she might wuss out when she came face to face with Angel/Angelus. It'd definitely be one of the hardest things she'd ever have to do next to letting Buffy get gone for a while.

She wasn't sure how long they sat there in the stairwell, but Buffy was the first to get up. She reached for Faith's hand and pulled her to her feet before leading the way slowly back up to the fifth floor and down the hallway to the apartment door. She gave Faith a soft kiss on the lips before they went inside, where Buffy without hesitation simply told everyone to leave, and didn't bother waiting for everyone to comply before she was pulling Faith towards the bedroom.

"Just let me have one last night," Buffy whispered to Faith as she closed the door behind her and pushed the brunette towards the bed. "Just one last night, just you and me."

"All I want right now, B."

"I just want to forget about everything right now."

"Me too."

"I don't want to think about tomorrow," Buffy whispered as she stood at the foot of the bed and began to slowly undress herself. Faith slipped out of her own clothes as she sat on the edge of the bed in front of her, biting her lip, not daring to say a word. "We're not going to lose this, Faith."

"No. Never."

"It's never been like this with anyone else. It's never felt so intense, so...electrifying with just a simple touch," Buffy said softly, reaching out to gently caress Faith's cheek. "I don't think I've ever loved anyone the way I love you either."

"Not even Angel?"

"Not even Angel."

Faith reached out, hooking her fingers around the edges of Buffy's lace panties as she stared up at her. She pulled them down slowly, smoothing the tips of her fingers over the skin as she did so before letting them drop to the floor as she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss just below her bellybutton. She ran her hands slowly up the back of Buffy's thighs, stopping at her waist as she pulled the blonde slayer down to straddle her legs. She stopped Buffy from kissing her and sat back a little, staring at her in the dim light of the room.

"Feels pretty intense right now," Faith whispered softly. "Never thought I'd hear you say that to me."

"Since we got here we haven't held anything back, Faith. Not going to start now."

"I know."

"Two weeks, I promise."

"No, you don't," Faith said, feeling the lie in Buffy's words, that uncertainty she could see so clearly in her eyes. "But don't doubt for a second that if you're gone for more than two weeks I'm gonna come over there, find you, and haul your ass back home."

"You would do that, wouldn't you?" Buffy laughed softly. "What did Willow say when I was gone?"

"Are we really gonna talk now, B?"

"Why, are you all distracted by my nakedness?" Buffy asked, trying to keep a straight face as Faith raised an eyebrow before leaning forward to pull Buffy a little closer, the brunette's lips swiftly latching onto her right nipple. "I'll take that as a yes."

Faith breathed in softly as she ran the tip of her tongue over Buffy's nipple for a moment before she moved to the other, biting it a little roughly as Buffy's hands went into her hair. The softest moan escaped from Buffy's lips then as she pulled Faith up to kiss her. Faith's body always reacted to every sound that Buffy made whenever she touched her. The feeling in itself was like a drug, it sent a sense of euphoria through her even if it just lasted a few short seconds at a time.

They spent the entire night there in their bedroom, most of it just spent holding one another, sharing a few kisses, a few gentle caresses, and a couple of long hours making love. Faith left her there as the first few rays of sunlight began to creep over the horizon. Buffy sleepily gave her a kiss goodbye, sighing out the words 'I love you' before she fell back asleep. Faith quickly and quietly packed up a bag and left, knowing if she didn't leave right now she never would, especially not after the night they'd just spent together.

She stopped by the house, where Giles was sitting in the kitchen waiting for her. He handed her the plane ticket, saying nothing to her as she took it and left, climbing into the empty cab that was waiting for her. She was exhausted, it was going to be a very long flight to LA, and an even longer couple of days—or however long it took her to find Angelus. She closed her eyes, seeing nothing but Buffy and those very fresh and recent memories. Memories that made her whole body ache for more. She couldn't help but feel like this was a mistake, that going down to LA to kill Angelus was the last thing she should be doing. She almost changed her mind three times on the long ride to the airport, but even after she boarded the plane, she still felt like this was a mistake she would forever regret. It was hard to tell what was genuine intuition and what was her mind just her own fear and reluctance. She was, after all, having to let go not only of Buffy but also the only other person in the world who ever gave a shit about her when things had gotten real bad before.

She had to remind herself it wasn't the first time she'd be facing Angelus, but it wouldn't go down the way it had before. She'd kill him, watch him turn to dust before her and never see him again, shedding more than enough tears for him before she would go back to Cleveland and Buffy would be gone. She let sleep take her over as soon as the plane was in the air and she knew when she woke, the world was going to go change on her yet again.

 

---

 

It was about a half hour before the sun set when she felt him watching her. She was in a highly populated area and a fight wouldn't go unnoticed by innocent passers-by. She had to do this without anyone around and Wesley had warned her Angelus would take her for a ride before she caught up to him in the end. She crossed the road, dodging the cars, and followed him through the alleyways until she came to a dead end. There were a few abandoned buildings and only one had a door that hadn't been nailed shut. She pulled the crossbow out of the bag along with one of the stakes and left the bag there as she marched over to the door and kicked it open.

"You gettin' a sense of déjà vu here too, Angel?" Faith called out as she walked through the big, nearly empty room. "Cos I'm totally feelin' it right now."

"Wondered when you'd figure it out and show up," Angel chuckled as he stepped out from the shadows. She raised the crossbow and he held up his hands. "Hey now, Faithy. Gotta play nice."

"Didn't come here to play nice. Came here to kill ya."

"Pity. I really thought it would be Buffy who came instead of you. Those goddamn seers probably lied to me again. Good thing I ate them for lunch," he smirked as he took a step closer to her. "And you know something else, Faithy? I really thought it'd be a challenge. Then again, just might be. Facing a second rate Slayer here after all."

"Just words. Don't listen to him."

Faith stood her ground, her finger over the trigger as she readied herself to raise the crossbow at him in an instant. Angel stood there, looking her up and down for a moment before he shook his head. She tried not to flinch, to show any kind of emotion. He wanted to get something out of her, anything, and she wasn't about to let him.

"You didn't come here for a fight did you?"

"No."

"You really think I'd make it that easy for you?"

"No. I'll make it easy for me."

"You really haven't changed much, have you?" Angel asked, cocking his head to the side when Faith didn't say a word. "Well, of course we have to factor in that you're all loved up with Buffy now. Gotta tell ya, I really didn't see that one coming."

"Well, I gotta tell ya that sometimes people surprise ya," Faith replied, grinning as Angel rolled his eyes. "Betcha old Angel just hates that. Or..." she took a step closer to him, seeing the amusement flash in his eyes, "you hate that he's okay with it."

"Maybe a little of both," he replied easily. "So, why don't you enlighten me as to why you're the one that's come to take me out."

"Supposed to be me."

"Says who? Oh wait," he laughed as he began pacing in front of her slowly, the dust rising from the floor and wafting around in the little bit of light left. "The great and mighty Powers that Be, am I right?"

"That and—"

"And Buffy can't...wait no, she won't," Angel finished for her, tsking as he shook his head. "How does that make you feel to know that she still loves him?"

"Doesn't make me feel a thing. She ain't in love with him or anything and y'know what? I don't even know why I'm botherin' talking to you 'bout this or anything else. All you're doin' is tryin' to stir up shit. You've gone soft, Angel."

He scoffed as he stopped pacing, the dust on the floor finally settling. Faith widened her stance, still ready to raise the crossbow knowing she could get him on the first go as long as she was quick enough. They stared at one another for a couple of minutes as if they were both waiting for the other to make that first move. Everything felt like it slowed down as she felt a single bead of sweat roll down her back. She gripped the crossbow, watching and waiting for that one split second she knew she'd have the chance and when he blinked, she raised it, squeezing the trigger as she held her breath.

Angel looked at her as the arrow struck home, and in that split second before he turned to dust she knew she was looking at Angel, not Angelus. Her heart felt heavy as she watched him fade to nothing and she dropped the crossbow to the floor, her hands shaking with the realization that she'd done exactly what she'd come there to do without even a single blow being traded between them. She pulled the cell phone out of her back pocket as she walked out of the building and called Wesley.

"It's done," she said flatly, her voice devoid of all emotion as she heard him sigh in relief.

"That was quick work, Faith."

"Yeah."

"Were there any problems? How on earth did you find him so quickly?"

"He found me. Followed him into this abandoned building, traded a few words, then it was done."

"Where are you?"

"Does it matter? Kinda wanna be alone right now."

"You do know where my apartment is, right?"

"Vaguely."

"Come here when you're ready to."

She said nothing more to him as she pressed the end button and slipped the cell phone back into her back pocket. She bent down to pick up one of the stakes from inside the bag she'd dropped to the ground before and tucked it inside her jacket pocket. Squaring her shoulders, she made her way to the street, slinging the bag's strap over her shoulder seemingly without any other care in the world to the unknowing eye. She could feel the tears building, but she didn't dare let them fall. Not yet. It still hadn't completely sunk in that she'd killed him—she'd killed Angel.

She'd really done it and now he was gone. And she knew Buffy was too. She could just feel it.

Everything seemed a blur as she walked the busy streets. Every step she took, she felt this heaviness build inside of her along with an emptiness, a void, that felt like it was swallowing her whole. As soon as she spotted a group of vampires making their way to a seedy looking bar, though, everything changed—she took a few deep breaths and headed across the street, ready to take them out, ready to fight since that was exactly what she was built for. She couldn't help but wonder, though, what the hell would happen next.