Chapter 12: Sometimes I Just Wanna Stay In Bed
Tommy Fuckin' Lehane.
My "dad". Now how in the shit did he get my number?
"I heard you were coming up here soon."
"Look," Shit, what do I call him? He certainly wasn't no kinda dad to me, and I can't stand the thought that he's actually my father. "Whatta ya want?"
"Kind of wondering where your manners are right now."
"Kinda non-existent. Much like you for most of my childhood." Yeah, I'm pretty bitter.
"Faith, I'm sorry about that. I- I want us to be..."
If he says close I'll fuckin' throw up.
"I want us to be able to get along."
"Can I be honest here?"
"Yeah, sure."
"I don't have any respect for you, never will and you'll never hear me call you ‘Dad'."
"What will you call me?"
I have to chuckle because ‘Fucker' just popped into my head.
"How about Tommy?" I say through gritted teeth. I don't know why I haven't hung up on this asshole yet. I guess I wanna fuck with him a little.
"Well, that wouldn't really be proper."
Fuckin' proper. What wasn't proper was for him to knock up my mom and then deny it for years before a paternity test had to be done to prove it. My kids will never have to know what it's like to testify in court that their ‘dad' didn't live up to her end of the lawsuit and visit every other weekend.
If I get my way, my kids will never know what it's like to even be in a divorced household. That thought makes me shudder. Anyway, point is this fucker never visited even though he hauled my mom into court and demanded visitation rights.
S'ok, I didn't want to see his sorry ass anyway. The thing that really sucked was that he got his lawyer and accountant to work out something where he reported no income so my mom couldn't collect shit.
He's a fuckin' loser asshole.
I realize I'm grippin' the phone too hard when I hear it creak. It's about to crumble to pieces in my hand. B wouldn't be too happy about that shit.
Buffy walks in the door and her happy face goes to one that says ‘who are you talking to and why are you about to break the phone?' I grimace at her and she looks annoyed. This might turn bad because I can't handle attitude right now.
"I have to go, I know you wanted to catch up, but I have things to do."
"I understand, can I call you again sometime?"
"No. I'll get in touch with you." Preferably never, or even better, I'll get in touch with his face.
I hang up and sigh a frustrated sigh. I don't wait for Buffy to say shit to me and I pick the phone back up and hit the speed dial.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Aunt Dee."
"Faith! I didn't expect to hear from you so soon, but I'm glad you called. You didn't get a phone call from that bastard did you?”
"Yeah, I just hung up with the asshole."
"Oh, God! I'm sorry Faith, your Uncle thought... well he didn't think is what happened. Tommy said he lost your number, so Jimmy gave it to him. I'm sorry, honey. He just told me, I wanted to rip his hair out."
Shit, I guess I can't be mad at Uncle Jimmy, my aunt probably gave him a lot of shit. ‘Sides, my dad was always a douchebag and doin' shit like that to get his way.
"It's ok Aunt Dee. I just didn't know why he'd be callin' out of the blue."
"Yeah, your ‘father'," I can hear her disgust at that word to describe him. "called here on one of his ‘Come to Jesus' calls, for some reason Jim thought he had heard from you and then Tommy asked for your number. Did he give you the whole born again speech?"
Oh, shit. He's born again. I hope I don't see him when I go up to Boston. I would seriously punch his face.
I look over at B and she's lookin through some stuff on the counter, tryin' not to snoop.
"No, he didn't get a chance. I practically hung up on him."
"Well, don't let it get to you, you know that's what he wants."
"Yeah, I know."
"So, you and Buffy still comin' up here?"
"Yep, we're gettin' ready, Buffy's laid out all the stuff she's thinkin' of takin'. I think we're comin' up there for like a year."
Buffy scoffs, but doesn't say anything to me, she doesn't want me to know she's payin' attention.
Aunt Dee laughs, "Oh, she's a high maintenance broad, huh?"
"Yep, but she's so cute, I let her slide."
Buffy looks at me and laughs. I knew she was listenin' in, and she thinks I'm the one that's transparent.
"Always one for a pretty face."
"Nah, they gotta put out good in bed, too." I wink at B and she's smilin' but her eyebrows are in her hair. That's her ‘I can't believe you just said that' face.
"Hey! I'm a grandmother now, you just stop all that sex talk!"
"HA! Damn, that's right, you're an old BROAD, now. Not one of us ‘spring chickens' as Gee Gee says."
"Faith, I'm gonna give you such a smack on the ass when I see you."
"I'm with women now, Dee. That would only turn me on."
"Ok, that's it. I can't talk to ya when you're like this. You're such a pervert. Does your fiancée know this about you?"
"It's what she loves about me."
"Oh, I see that marriage lastin' about 3 weeks."
Aunt Dee seems like she's pissed, but I know she does that shit to be funny. She's just as much a perv as me. Runs in the family, along with the stubbornness.
"Yeah, like yours and Jimmy's."
"I'm a saint, is why it's lasted this long."
"Saint Dee. The patron saint of big boobs and small asses. How's that work?"
"God didn't gimme child bearin' hips. Your mother got all the curves, god rest her soul."
I think I'm supposed to say, ‘God rest her soul' here, too, but I haven't said stuff like that in a long, long time, so I dunno.
"How's Gee Gee?"
"Oh! I almost forgot. She's gettin' out tomorrow, so when you and Buffy come you'll have to share a room."
"Damn...ok if we must."
"Yeah, I know you're all kindsa broken up about it. But Faith, I'm warnin' you, no hanky panky. At least none we can hear. I don't need your Uncle Jimmy spendin' ‘quality time' in the bathroom ‘cause you gave him a renewed sense of ‘findin' himself'."
"Ok, that was gross, even for me." I chuckle. "You guys are twisted. We're gonna stay in a hotel."
"You'll do nothing of the sort! Uhh well, unless you really wanted to. But I thought it would be like old times." She's nervous because she thinks it might be awkward for me. But I actually really feel like stayin' with them and not at a hotel. Which is really weird because I love stayin' in hotels. I guess I just need to be around family for a while. Ya know, get a sense of togetherness back with them. Plus, I know B's dyin' to see me interact with my family.
"I was kiddin', we'll stay with you guys, of course if it's not too much trouble."
"No, no trouble at all! The girls will just have to double up, and don't worry, the sheets will be washed."
"Heh, thanks. Ok Aunt Dee, I gotta go. Tell Uncle Jimmy I'm not mad, just took me by surprise is all."
"Don't worry, I'll kick his gullible ass for you."
I chuckle, ‘cause she will.
"Have a good day."
"You too, tell Buffy I said hello."
"I will, and you tell everyone there I said hey, too."
"You got it honey. Love you."
"Love you, too."
I hang up. Shit, she was always so nice to me like this, why didn't I fuckin' keep in touch?
B comes up behind me. I know she can sense I'm gettin' down on myself. She wraps her arms around me from behind.
"I'm ok, sweetheart."
"I know, baby. Can't I just hug on you for no particular reason?"
"Yeah, ya can." I turn in her arms and lean in for a sweet kiss. "‘Course ya can. I'm sorry, B. That was my fuckin' dad on the phone earlier." I shudder at usin' the word dad.
She narrows her eyes and instantly kicks into defend me mode.
"What did he want?"
"To cause some shit, but I didn't let him. Don't worry about it. So, are you getting ready to think of pairing down to the last 12 outfits for this weekend or what?"
B pinches my ass. "You're always calling me a brat, it's you who's the brat!"
I lift her up and she hooks her legs around my waist.
"You're a cute brat though." I wiggle the brows. She's such a sucker for ‘em. Man, I have to go to work and all I wanna do is bring her into our room and have my nasty way with her.
"As much as I want to have you take me into the bedroom right now, Faith. You promised Giles you'd help him with the new class."
I sigh, "Yeah, I know." I sniff her neck and take a lick. She giggles.
"That can't taste good, it has my perfume on it."
"You're pussy has your perfume on it, and you don't care how that tastes."
"Ew, nasty girl. My uhhh, pussy does not have my perfume on it." I love the way Buffy says pussy. She can't say it without it being forced.
‘Cept when we're fuckin' then its, "OH FUCK MY PUSSY, FAITH!" and "YOU LOVE MY PUSSY, YEAH, OH SUCK IT!!"
I'd call her on it if it didn't make me so hot. ‘Cause Buffy can be vengeful and stop something I love when she gets made fun of.
"It does too, I call it ‘B's pussy liquor', makes me wanna be a pussy licker all day."
"You're so twisted."
By now she'd have tried to get down from where she is, but she's still in heat so she's gettin' her jollies. I love it.
I quirk an eyebrow.
"Yeah, you know I love it, don't you?" She says as her eyes narrow on my lips.
"Mmm hmm." I lean in and give her a deep kiss, then set her down on the back of the couch. I rip my face away from hers and leave her in the lurch.
"Faith!! That's so wrong!"
"I know, and you love that about me."
I run out of the door and slam it behind me right before I hear her shoe hit it. Score!!
Right now, Giles is lookin' at me like I just told him I spilled Coke on his 1000 year old scrolls.
I hold the package of Skittles out to him. "Whan fum?" I have about half of it in my mouth.
"No, thank you. Can we go over the syllabus for today?"
"Yu wan meta tay 'em ona buf?"
"I'm sure you spoke English at some time in your life, Faith. Can you please try your hardest to do so now?"
I chew the Skittles and smile at him, probably got spit the color of the rainbow. Mmmmm. Yummy!
He narrows his eyes at me. I swallow.
"There, now, what was it you wanted me to do?"
"Here is the syllabus for today, can you follow instructions?"
"Can you follow instructions?" I mimic him in a nasally British accent.
"Faith, did something happen today to make you want to give me an ulcer?"
Shit, I was just playin', but yeah, I was bein' an ass too ‘cause I'm still bothered by that call from my bastard father.
I sigh and lean forward in my chair.
"No, nothin' I'm sorry. So, this all I need to do?" I take the paper from him.
"Yes, that should do it."
"Looks good. I'm gonna go get changed."
"Very well, I'll have the girls ready and in the gymnasium in 10 minutes."
"Cool." I stroll out of his office, but I can feel his eyes borin' into the back of my head.
Thirty minutes into our "work out" and the girls look like they're gonna die.
"You think this is hard?! Wait till you're out on a mission and there's no water, no where to get away from the sun, runnin' from a demon you can't see!"
I stop what I'm doin' and stroll up to one of the newbies who can't seem to keep her balance.
"Steph, what the fuck do you think you're doin'?"
"I'm tryin' to do the workout."
"Yeah, since tryin' ain't workin' for you, why don't you just fuckin' DO it?!"
She gets a look on her face that I feel like punchin' off.
"This isn't the field, I'll do better there."
Some of the smart girls tell her to stop bein' stupid.
"When you're dead? That how you'll do better? Fuckin' die and take half your crew down with ya ‘cause you didn't try hard enough durin' trainin'?"
"That how you got people killed out in Sunnydale?" She snaps. She's got a look to her eyes I can only describe as lookin' in a mirror when I was at my bitchiest. "While you were off fuckin' your bitch?" The smile on her face after she says that makes me wanna end her.
It happens really fast, but the next thing I know Giles is yellin' for me to let her go. I didn't even know he was in the gym. The girls around us are all shoutin' and some are cryin'. The red mist clears from my eyes and I can see Steph's face goin' all purply. Oh shit. I let her go and the girls who were tryin' to pry me offa Steph join the ones who were tryin' to pull her out of my grasp. They carry her over to the benches.
Giles' face is beet red. Fuck, I am so dead. But of course, I don't wanna admit I did wrong so I look at him like ‘what?'". He sighs and makes sure Steph'll live then he looks at me.
"Faith, a word." He motions for me to follow him. We go to the office beside the gym.
"What's up?"
"Faith!" He takes a calmin' breath. He's a smart man. He knows if he blows up at me like he wants to, I'll only shut off completely, and we may even do our own version of sparrin'. Heh. That would constitute me breakin' his kneecap and runnin'. I fight dirty when I feel threatened.
He motions for me to sit down in a chair in front of the desk. Gonna play the Head Master to my naughty school girl. Fuck him, too.
He walks in front of me and leans back against the desk. I have my head down and I can feel his eyes borin' into the top of my skull. He must have some powers like that Frylock dude from Aquateen Hungerforce. He's always tryin' to see into my skull.
He's not sayin' nothin' and it's makin' me feel like shit ‘cause now I'm forced to think about what I did and I know I shouldn't have done that. Fuck, I almost killed one of the new girls. She's probably on the phone to her parents and lawyers and this operation will be shut down faster than you can say "Faith you're a stupid bitch."
I fuckin' suck so bad sometimes.
I feel G kneel down and he moves so he's right in front of me. He puts his hands on my knees, that makes me look him in the eyes. I don't see anger or frustration, I don't even see disappointment.
All I see is concern and a father's love. Oh fuck, tears spring to my eyes and I sob. Giles leans up and hugs me to him.
God, I'm such a fuckin' baby. I'm a goddamn mess. Glad B's not here to see this, but somethin' tells me she'll know about it soon enough. If not from one of the trainees, then from G.
When I quiet down Giles lets me go, he hands me his handkerchief and I look at him like he just put a snot rag in my hand. Which is exactly what he just did. He rolls his eyes at me.
"I assure you, it's clean, Faith."
"Thanks," I wipe my eyes and then blow my nose. I go to hand it back and he looks grossed out for a second.
"No, dear. You keep it."
"Thanks" I shrug.
We're quiet for a little bit but I know G's dyin' to ask me why.
"May I ask why you tried to kill Stephanie?" He finally breaks the silence.
I sigh.
"No real reason."
"No?"
"Nope"
"Faith, I have known you for a long time now, even when we were in Sunnydale I kept a close eye on you."
I chuckle a bit.
"Closer than you think, and you'd do well to keep your laughter to yourself. I'm this close to calling Buffy and telling her you're not to do any more teaching."
Shit, that would be the fuckin' worst thing he could ever do to me. One it would let B know I'm still psycho and a total loser, and two it would take somethin' I love to do away from me.
I mean I try to give off the air that it's a burden, but I seriously love the time I spend helpin' out teachin'. Makes me feel like I have a real purpose. I mean I know I do have a purpose bein' one of the Chosen Ones, but to be able to teach others what I know, well that's a power and a pride I wouldn't give up for the world. Not even if B asked me too. Unless it was harmin' me or her, or takin' me away from our family.
I think a while about our family and get a full feelin' in my heart.
My father can't do shit to ruin what I got now.
Giles stands up and gets somethin' off the desk.
"Faith, I won't be reporting this incident to anyone. I'm not sure what Stephanie will do, but my guess is she'll see what she did was wrong."
"I have to go apologize."
"Yes. Yes you should."
"I won't say a word to Buffy, on one condition."
Oh shit, a catch. Always gotta be a catch.
He holds out a white business card to me. "Here is the number for a very good psychologist. She can help, Faith."
I take it from him and stare at it. Fuck it, might as well. Don't need a repeat of what happened today.
"She know about Slayers?" Don't need to try and skirt around what I do for a livin', she'd end up thinkin' I was tryin' to hide something or a that I'm pathological liar, ‘cause my story'd be changin' ever time I saw her. I suck at lyin'.
"Yes, she's the daughter of a former watcher, he was killed by the Bringers."
"Damn shame."
"Quite."
"She take walk-ins?"
"You'll actually have to schedule an appointment, Faith. But you know you don't have to call, they have this new fangled invention called the interweb."
I narrow my eyes at him and he laughs.
"You can email her if you like."
"She expectin' my appointment?"
"I may have mentioned your name as someone who may or may not need her assistance."
"Who else knows I'm a fucked up bitch?"
"Faith," Giles looks pissed. "I want you to stop all that nonsense right this instant! You are a very capable and competent person who needs some extra help in dealing with what you went through as a child and the residual affect it had on your later years. No man is an island, Faith."
"You ever been to Noman Island? I heard it was in the Greek Isles." I feel like makin' a joke.
"No, I've never been, and it's called Lesbos." Fuck, he's a funny bastard.
I love him. Don't tell him I said that though, he'd get all gushy and girly.
"Hey, straight man. You better watch it. I'll sic Will on ya."
He chuckles.
"Thanks G. I really appreciate your help and everything you do for me."
"That would be called support." Such a smart ass.
I go to leave and he calls my name. I stop before I have my hand on the doorknob and turn to him.
"Cuiusvis hominis est errare; nullius nisi insipientis in errore perseverare." I shrug at him. "Any man can make a mistake; only a fool keeps making the same one."
Figures G would break out the Latin. But that's the same thing they taught me in murder rehab. I need to make sure I follow that advice, and not keep pushin' shit off so that I don't have to deal.
I nod to him. "I got one for you, bet ya didn't know I knew Latin, huh?"
"Well, I rather hoped you would have actually paid attention to the times when I was teaching it to you in England."
Oh, shit, forgot about that. Heh. Guess I wasn't payin' attention to who was teachin', but what he don't know is that I paid attention to the material. I don't let on though 'cause he an' Will an' Dawnie and the other researchers will have me translatin' reams of text and I ain't havin' that shit. What I really like to do is take B behind the stacks in the new library and have my way with her while they pour over their tomes. It's what I always wanted to do in SunnyD.
He gives me an ‘I'm waitin'' look.
"Oh yeah." I blink away my nasty thoughts. "Absum, bitches!" He laughs as I leave the office.
When I get out to the main area Steph's in her position and goin' through the workout again. A few of the girls decided to keep goin'.
She gets nervous as I walk over to her. "I'm sorry for doin' that to you. I had no right to."
"No, I shouldn't have said what I did. I'm sorry."
"How's your neck?"
"Couple of bruises, they'll fade."
Yeah, in about a fuckin' month. Shit, I really had a grip on her.
"I'll get some of the Wicca to help fade that real quick."
She nods.
"Thanks for stopping me, Faith. I go to far sometimes."
"Well, if you ever need to talk, I know a good person." I wink at her.
"I might take you up on that."
She smiles at me and I see a hint of what Buffy's eyes usually have in ‘em. Fuck, she said that shit ‘cause she was jealous of me an' B. Damn, is everyone gay?
When I get home the lights are dim and there's music playin' softly. I wait for my eyes to adjust to the dim light, I can see flickers from a candle bouncin' off the wall opposite the bedroom.
Buffy's body wash scent is in the air. I think I can smell those expensive bath bubble things she made me buy her for Christmas, too.
Middle of the day sex. Shit, that's the fuckin' best!!
I quickly take my jacket off an' throw it on the back of the couch.
"Faith, is that you?"
"No, ma'am, it's the mailman." I make my voice all deep and manly. I joke when I'm horny. Heh. Ok, when I'm horny and just about every other emotion, too.
"Oh, I've been waiting for you. We only have time for a quickie or six, my fiancée is on her way home from work."
"Pain in the ass." I laugh.
"Welcome home, baby. Why don't you bring that box from the hall table in here? After you take your coat off the back of the couch and hang it up."
I grumble somethin' about her legs bein' broke and why can't she bring her own package in when I catch a glimpse of the room. There are about a dozen candles lit in various places around the room. I recognize the tunes comin' out of B's boom box. Norah Jones.
I'm like Pavlov's dog with this CD, every time I hear it I wanna fuck B, soft and slow and build to hard and fast. She puts it on when she's mega horny. Like now.
She's naked and turned towards me, she has white stockings with garters on and no panties. Now, this might be a cheesy porn look, but fuck, the contrast of the white on her smooth tanned skin. GOD DAMN!
She smiles at me.
My pussy contracts and makes me feel like I'm gonna just come on the spot. She's so fuckin' beautiful and I feel like I've won the lottery.
I toss my jacket in the closet without turnin' around or breakin' eye contact, I hear it thud to the floor as I manage to get the door closed.
She laughs and starts to say somethin' but the look on her face turns to desire as she sees the look on mine.
I strip in 3.5 seconds and place my whole body on top of hers. She's gonna love what I've got in mind for her.
I'm busy suckin' and nibblin' at her neck when she sighs out, "Please, go get the package, sweety."
Fuck I forgot. What can be so important? But I know, if I don't do as she asks she'll stop what we're doin' anyway.
I get up after I give her nipple a loving kiss and a suck. She gasps. Damn!!
I bring her the package and she tells me to open it. I do and get the biggest shock of my life.
Woah, what the fuck is this thing? I lift it out of the box and remove the outer packaging. Shit, its bright red. I look in the box to see if there are straps.
"What are you looking for, Faith?"
"Uhhh the straps, B."
"There are none." She gets a sexy smile that tells me she loves playin' teacher. It's not often Buffy knows something I don't about a sex toy. She kneels up on the edge of the bed and points to the bottom part of the dildo that looks like it has a silicone egg on the end. "That's inserted into the ‘wearers' vagina, while this..." She points to the tip of the ‘cock' and trails off, but she reaches down and cups her pussy.
HOLY SHIT!
Have I told you that I love the week before B's period?!
