Chapter 6- The Grinch Who Brought Christmas

(Movie credit: Meet Me in St. Louis)


"Faith! Buffy!" Willow shouts as she pulls away from her kissin' contest with Satsu and looks horrified at us. "We-we didn't expect you yet." She narrows her eyes to a spot behind me and I see she gives that look to Dawn. You know the look, it says, `Why didn't you call us and give a heads up?!'. Dawn looks like she just remembered something. Guess she's not so organized. I might have to tell her new boss. Heh.

"Well, we're here." I say with a big shit eatin' grin on my face and look knowingly at Satsu who's trying to hide herself behind the tree.

She ain't gettin' off that easy.

Buffy charges in from behind me and so does the rest of the gang. I take Mia off of Xander and wait until everyone gets reacquainted. Red comes over and gives Mia a kiss and hugs me.

I whisper in her ear, "What's with the new development, Will?"

"I'll tell you when you're ready to listen." She whispers back and then goes over to where Dawn and Xander are talkin' with Satsu and catchin' up.

I wasn't ready for that kind of a comeback and I'm not sure what to think of it.

"Why so frowny faced?" Buffy comes up and takes Mia from me. I take her back.

"Hey, hands off my girl, I just got her back from Xander and now you're takin' her offa me."

I meant it as a joke, but it actually came out all accusatory. Shit, Buffy looks like we're about to fight.

"I'm sorry, Faith. I just wanted to give her a kiss and then maybe put her down. Let her stretch out."

I sigh, "Don't be sorry, B. I'm not sure what's wrong with me right now."

"Do you need to sit down?" She looks worried.

"Yeah, with you, would you come over and sit on the couch with me and Mimi?"

She smiles, "Sure, I think I can manage that."

Dawn and B whipped up a spread and we're sittin' around the coffee table eatin' and laughin'. Even Mia got some grub, and B's done feedin' her and back sittin' down next to me. Surprisingly, Mia didn't fall asleep while Buffy was feedin' her, usually she's out like a light. Must be the excitement of seein' her Aunties Will and Dawnie and Uncle Xand. She's even happy about seein' Satsu, but I'm not too sure about how I feel about that.

I look over at Satsu and the smile she had on her face disappears in less than a second.

Buffy notices this and then looks at me, a second later I feel her tap my leg. A Slayer tap by the way.

"What?"

She leans in and whispers in my ear.

"You look like you're gonna burn a hole in her skull with your eyes."

Hmmm. I didn't even realize I was doin' that.

"So, Will, how were things with Kennedy's parents?" Xander asks and lifts his brow at Satsu.

"They're doing ok, considering, ya know? They're still grieving, but they've started to come out of the big depression they were both in."

"That's good."

I'm still tryin' to figure out what his beef with Satsu is, when she starts talkin' about how they visited the spot where Will threw Ken's ashes and my stomach clenches.

Right at the moment I'm about to ask about what's goin' on between her and Will, `cause as far as I knew they haven't seen each other since the shit went down this summer, there's a knock at the door.

Probably the best thing that could have happened for me, `cause I'm sure I was about to say something real snotty.

What can I say? I'm a jealous for Ken's sake and I'm doin' a piss poor job of hidin' it.

"Buffy, it's for you." Dawn calls out and I look towards the door.

Nico. The dude from downstairs. He's the male version of me. The reason I'm so worried about him is he looks like he could be my brother, and he's all stable and whatnot. If B decided to drive stick again, why wouldn't she pick him?

Anyway, he's here and he has somethin' in his hand.

Looks like a Christmas present wrapped in paper for a child. I know what this is, he's on the make.

Buffy looks at me and I can tell she doesn't know what to do.

"Here, B. Lemme take her, you've got a guest." I hold my hands out for Mia and she gives her to me.

She kinda looks like she's on auto-pilot and before she can say anything I decide to make her feel a little easier so I get up and go over to the window with Mia. Showin' her the view of our street, there's a dog jumpin' around its owner and Mia claps and squeals.

"You like the doggy, Mimi? You like the doggy?" My voice sounds happy and I'll be damned if I don't have to fake it. I'm feelin' pretty ok with things. Doesn't bother me who's at the door, and that's the truth. I know Buffy loves me and she won't be goin' to drive no stick anytime in the near or distant future. No matter who the fucker looks like. For the record she's not drivin' automatic, unless it's me she's drivin', either.

"Dawn, can you tell him to hang on a minute?" Buffy asks, from directly behind me. I didn't realize she was standin' that close, she must've followed me to the window.

"Faith," She whispers to me and moves closer. "I don't know why he's here, I didn't invite him."

"It's ok, B. I'm cool with it."

"Then how come you moved away from me?"

I turn and pull her in closer to me, givin' her a lovin' kiss on the cheek.

"I just wanted to give you some space, ya know? Didn't want you to feel all awkward about goin' to see your friend."

"I'll go see what he wants, but he's not exactly a friend. He's…" She hesitates but then keeps goin'. "He's trying to pick me up."

"I know, I see his game and I know what kinda playa he is."

"I didn't give him…"

"I know, baby." She looks relieved. "Get rid of him and we'll go back to havin' a good time with our family."

"I love you so much." Her voice catches in her throat and she smiles but looks like she might cry in a second.

"I love you, too." I lean in and give her a kiss right on the lips, Mia squeals again `cause she's caught in between us. Buffy pulls back quickly and I'm about to think it's because she's realized who's at the door but I see it's because Mia's got a fistful of her hair caught in her chubby little hand. "My girl's got a grip!" I laugh.

"Ow, help me get her hand open! It's not funny, Faith!" Buffy's tryin' to get her hair out without hurtin' Mia, but the little one grips harder. "Dawn! Help! Faith's being mean and is just laughing at me."

"Awww, baby, I'm not bein' mean." I finally get Mia to let go of B's hair and she yawns all big and bold.  

Dawn comes over and hands Buffy the present Nico had in his hand. Buffy looks at me tryin' to see my reaction.

"He wanted to give you this for Mia. Guess he didn't feel like staying." She holds her arms out for Mia. "You want me to put her down?"

"Nah, it's cool, Dawnie." I'm still lookin' in Buffy's eyes. "We got her."

"So, you'll be putting her down for a nap and then taking a `nap' yourselves?"

"Don't be rude," B tells Dawn, all mom-like. "We've got to get our rest when she does."

Dawn snorts, "Yeah, `rest'. Riiiiight."

"Whatever Double-D," I wink at her. "You wanna join us?"

"EW!!" I hear everyone in the room yell out.

Buffy slaps me on the arm, "Gross!" She slaps me again and shudders. "So, gross, Faith! She's my SISTER!"

"I was just kiddin', jeez. Don't resort to violence." I look at the others as I usher my girls to our rooms. "We'll be back in a few. Xand, you've got Satsu duty. Make sure she's not gettin' busy with Will on the couch."

"You think I can join them?" He says with a grin and a wink of his own.

The looks he gets from everyone says that he's walkin' on thin ice.

"How come when Faith says it everyone's all `Ew, Faith!' and everybody's grossed out but smiling and laughing and when I do it you look like you're all gonna murder me? Dead."

"'Cause it's Faith, Xander." Willow says, like he should know that without it havin' to be said.

"Yeah, I forgot, I thought she was Mother Teresa."

Damn, that reminds me that I called B Mother Teresa `cause I said she was actin' like a nun. There's so much I have to make up for, but I have a feelin' she won't hold it over me.

Will comes up to me before we go off into the room, I tell B to go on ahead `cause it looks like she needs to say somethin' to me.

"Faith, we were gonna tell you guys today, we didn't expect you'd be back so soon."

"How long's it been goin' on?"

"About a month." She adds quickly, "Only since Thanksgiving. We hadn't seen each other since…" She looks sad.

"It's ok, Will." I let her off the hook `cause she deserves to be happy and from the looks of what was goin' on when we got here, Satsu makes her happy. "Don't worry, I'm sure Ken would approve."

"You think so?"

I nod and smile at her.

"Thanks, Faith." She hugs me real close.

"Don't thank, me Will. She's a good girl, I just forgot that for a second."

Satsu comes over to me and punches me in the arm. "Hey, watch how you're handlin' my woman."

"I'll watch it, if you do." I dip, Will and make like I'm gonna kiss her.

"Faith!" B yells, "Bedroom. NOW!" I watch her go into the room and slam the door.

"Oops, looks like you're gonna get your ass handed to you. Slayer."

"That?" I nod my head towards the door. "That's foreplay, Sudsy."

 She rolls her eyes.

"Get going then."

I look at the door and fuck it, I'm in trouble. I better get it over with. Before I do though, I pull Will in close again.

"Hey, I'm real happy for you, Will. Really I am, you deserve it, babe."

"Thanks so much, Faith. I'm very happy, well, as happy as I can with…ya know…"

"Yeah, I know. I thought about her today and it felt like my heart was shriveled up, but then I remembered that she wouldn't want us to pussy foot around, she'd tell us to get on with it."

"You're right." She nods like only Will can, then she smiles at me. "And I'm glad you got your head out of your butt. I was worried I was gonna have to come back and turn you into a toad."

"Faith!" Buffy yells again.

"I better get in there."

"Don't worry, if she kills you I've got the stuff to bring you back."

"You carry that shit around with you now?" Somehow I don't think she's kiddin'.

"It's in here." She points at the center of her chest. "Brazil is an amazing place, if you know people."

"And I'm sure you know people." I kiss her on the cheek.

She's fuckin' amazin'. Never stops amazin' me these days. Satsu better treat her right or she's gonna disappear, a very slow and painful disappearance.

After lettin' Will go back to Satsu, I crack the door to our room a bit and push it open slowly.

"B?" All of a sudden I'm pulled inside and I'm about to say somethin' but a hand's put over my mouth and it's fuckin' rough.

"Shhh, don't say a thing." She whispers harshly into my ear. "You say anything and you'll regret it. Where's your girl?!"

"Wh-who? Wi-Will?"

"Didn't I just tell you not to say anything?!" I'm pulled up over her head and tossed on the bed. That fuckin' hurt.

Shit, I'm too tired to fight with her. I just lay spread out flat on my back.

"Yeah, B. But then you asked me a question."

She launches herself from a standstill where she is and lands on top of me. Hard.

"Oof!" The wind is knocked out of me for a second. "Fuuuuuck, that fuckin' hurt! Damn, baby, lay off the Christmas cookies. Will ya?"

"Are you saying I'm fat?"

I try to get her off me, but she's not budgin'.

"Nah, you're gettin' curves in all the right places," I slide my hands down her back and over her ass. "I'm just sayin' you need to lay off the cookies, `cause uh…I'm not gettin' any."

"That's an interesting choice of words there, Faithy."

Uh oh, it's the Faithy stuff, she's messin' with me and she's makin' me think I'm in the dog house.

She lifts up off me but not before she pushes on my stomach.

"Christ, B! What gives?"

"I thought you liked having a nun beat on you?"

Oh, shit. Here it comes. So much for her not holdin' that shit over me.

"I was fucked up when I said that. I thought we were past all that?"

"We were, but then I just remembered that."

"When Xand said he thought I was Mother Teresa?"

"Yeah."

Fuckin' fuck, I'm gonna kill that one-eyed bastard. Or maybe just cut his balls off so he can't have any kids who'll get me into trouble like he does.

"Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop thinking of the ways you're gonna kill Xander."

"Huh? Nah, baby. I'm not gonna kill him. I'm just gonna sell his balls to that Swedish joint down the street. They like them things, whadda they call `em? Sweetbreads."

"Ew!" She goes to hit me but I block her punch to my arm. It's been used and abused too much today.

"You're right, it's Xander we're talkin' about."

"Exactly."

"His would be more sour than sweet. That salty…"

"Faith, there's only one person who might die tonight, and I really don't wanna be a widow this young."

"I'm sorry, really. Now, what didya have in mind? More talkin', a little somethin' somethin'," I wiggle my brows, "Or what?"

She kicks off her shoes and then her jeans follow, after whippin' her sweater over her head and tossin' it to the floor she gets under the covers.

"I think `Or what' sounds great. I'm so tired I feel like I'm gonna pass out."

Whew, I'm relieved she said that. Don't get me wrong, I love havin' sex, but I think we had like two hours worth of sleep last night and my fine body needs just a bit more than that these days. `Sides it's early yet, an hour or two nap and we'll be good to go for the rest of the day, and then we can spend all night tonight fuckin' again. I'm also kinda happy that she didn't wanna talk things out, I'm still tryin' to figure the shit out in my head a bit more.

I get down to my undershit and get under the covers with her. She groans when I turn on the T.V., but she still cuddles up to me anyway.

"Why are you putting on the T.V.?"

"There's a good movie on today and I forgot to set the DVR. It was Gee Gee and Pops' favorite at this time of year. I loved watchin' it with them."

"Well, as long as you turn it down so I can sleep. Oh, and when we get up you're gonna tell me why you were so mad at Satsu, she and Will brought most of the Christmas presents, I wasn't in the mood to shop." She burrows in closer and even though I haven't touched the volume she's out like a frickin' light.

I pull her in closer and lay back comfortably and watch what's left of the movie. I've missed most of it, but my favorite part is comin' up. Awesome!

The little girl and her older sister are sittin' in a bedroom window lookin' out at the snow. They're sad about havin' to move away from the only home they've ever known.

"If Santa Claus brings me any toys, I'm taking them with me." The little girl, Tootie, says. "I'm taking all my dolls, the dead ones too, I'm taking everything."

"Of course you are, I'll help you pack them myself." Her sister, Esther, says lovingly. She's fixin' Tootie's hair, like B does sometimes when we're talkin'. "You don't have to leave anything behind, except your snow people, of course."

Tootie laughs, but I know it isn't a happy one, it's the kind where you're world's fallin' apart around you and you wanna hold onto somethin' so bad but it's slippin' away and you think you can fool people with how unaffected by it all you are, and your laugh sounds so fuckin' fake it makes everyone cringe. I know that laugh and what `gonna lose it in a second' looks like. They both look out at the yard where the snow people are. Esther continues, "We'd look pretty silly trying to get them on the train, wouldn't we?" Tootie's lookin' out at her snow people and shit if it doesn't look like she's just lost a friend in a tragic accident. I start to tear up. Oh, fuck, not this again.

I remember now why I stopped watchin' this part of the movie.

Esther picks up a musical merry-go-round lookin' thing and winds it up, it starts playin' a Christmas song.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light.

Next year all our troubles will be out of sight.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the yuletide gay, next year all our troubles will be miles away.

Once again as in olden days, happy golden days of yore, faithful friends who were dear to us, will be near to us, once more.

I think of Gee Gee, Pops, Ken, Mrs. S., my friend Brian and I see the little girl Tootie's face and she looks just how I feel. Like it's too much to think about. Her sister keeps singin'.

Someday soon we all will be together, if the fates allow.

Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow.

So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

I shut the T.V. off before the next scene plays out. I know what happens all too well.

Tootie gets so sad while listenin' to that song that she goes down and beats the shit out of her snow people. Crushes them to fuckin' bits, bashin' `em and stompin' on `em, yellin' that if she can't take `em with her, she's not gonna let any other fucker have `em.

Buffy sighs and tightens her grip on me. I look down at her sleepin' face. It makes my heart skip about ten beats.

I almost ended her life, `cause I thought I couldn't have her and didn't want no other fucker to have her either. When I failed at that, `cause I didn't have the balls to do it, I tried to kill myself. Death by broody vampire. I'm glad Angel didn't kill me, though, `cause then I wouldn't have moments like this. Fallin' asleep in my woman's arms, warm, somewhat happy, with a beautiful baby in the other room, the promise of makin' more and havin' a wonderful life together.

You caught the `somewhat happy' there, didn't ya? Yeah, well, Rome wasn't built in a day. My demons ain't gonna leave me that quick either.

I still have that dream I have to work out. All I know is I gotta talk to Alicia.

I pull the covers up over us more and let sleep take me. It's easy when I listen to B's even breaths, it's just so fuckin' soothin'.

They should bottle that shit.

I wake up to Buffy shakin' me and the others standin' around the bed with frightened fuckin' looks on their faces.

"Faith, wake up, baby!"

"Buffy?! What the fuck?"

"You were screaming in your sleep!"

She musta just gotten up, she's still in her bra and panties.

"How long have I been out?" I sit up a bit.

"We fell asleep around one, it's almost three now. What was happening in your dream?"

My dream. I remember now.

"I need to talk to Alicia, can you call her for me?"

"She's probably sleeping now, she was helping patrol last night."

"Buffy, please! Can't you just do as your fuckin' told?!"

She stiffens up and tells the others to please get out, Xander says he's gonna call Alicia for me.

I kinda wish they wouldn't leave, feels like I'm about to get yelled at. Not sure I can handle that right now.

Buffy slides back onto the bed with me and I turn away from her.

"Faith, I'm not going back to that."

"What?!" I've got no fuckin' clue what she's talkin' about.

"Where we were for the last two months."

Oh shit, I guess I'm actin' kinda like I was when my head was up my ass.

"No, baby, I love you. We're not goin' back there." My thoughts go to my dream and I start sweatin'. "I just…feel…"

"Like what, sweetheart?"

"Like I can't fuckin' breathe." I clutch at the sheet `cause it feels like it's chokin' me.

"Buffy?" Xander calls softly from the door.

"Yeah?"

"She's on her way, she said to hang on tight."

Shit, I wonder what I was screamin' to get `em so freaked.

"I will," Buffy puts her arms around me and tightens her grip, this time it doesn't feel like I can't breathe. "I'm not letting go this time."

Thank Christ.

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