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Part Three: Stealing Home

Being stuck at the Cleveland Marriott on a Saturday night in a stuffy and overly decorated banquet room wasn’t exactly Faith’s idea of a good time. She could have been at one of her favorite clubs dancing the night away or out on a hot date. Still, when she’d received an invite for Dawn’s surprise birthday party, she’d accepted immediately.

Something about finally being accepted among the Scoobies had her coming back to each and every one of these lame parties again and again. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she actually liked them once they’d let her in. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Buffy got hotter and hotter every time Faith saw her, and the eye candy was a nice distraction.

Or maybe it was the fact that Faith finally felt like she’d grown some roots with these people – her friends, and she didn’t want to lose that feeling, no matter how dull their parties were when compared to her average weekend nights.

Whatever the reason, Faith stood with her elbow resting on the bar, nursing a bottle of Budweiser while playing the role of the quiet observer at the party.

Dawn and about thirty of the new slayers were running around the hotel in their bathing suits, trying to find the luxurious pool area, the whole reason why Buffy and Willow had planned the party at the hotel in the first place. The young girls had invited Faith to join them, but she had a hard time telling them that the reason she hadn’t brought her bathing suit was because she didn’t own one. The only swimming she liked to partake in was naked swimming, and that was mostly in her bath tub.

She hardly thought that the hotel staff would enjoy her parading around nude in front of the other guests, though she couldn’t understand why. Faith reasoned that with a body like hers, people would be lining up to sneak a peek.

With most of the younger crowd off and causing trouble, the small banquet room was left with the usual crowd – a cell phone clutching Buffy, Willow and Kennedy, Xander, Andrew, and Giles, of course. Andrew had tried to follow the younger girls to the pool, but after a threat or two of drowning, he decided to stay back in the banquet room.

“This party would be so much better if everyone stopped threatening to hold my head under water,” Andrew said under his breath as he plopped down on a tall chair next to Faith.

He reached carelessly behind him on the bar to grab some cashews and hit a glass full of some type of fruity concoction, nearly toppling it over before Faith reached out and steadied it.

“New rule,” she said evenly, “you spill anything on me tonight, I fill up a bucket with some beer and hold your head under it for an hour or two. It’ll be a whole different experience from the water.”

Andrew looked at Faith with a crooked grin, but it faded away when he saw that she wasn’t smiling back.

“Noted,” he said quietly, squirming uncomfortably.

Faith looked off across the room, watching over the rest of the Scoobies. Willow and Xander were excitedly telling stories of the past, keeping Kennedy and Giles thoroughly entertained. Buffy, however, looked like she was on another planet, checking the silent cell phone in her hand every few seconds.

An annoying crunching noise next to her grabbed Faith’s attention.

“These cashews are the best I’ve ever had.”

Faith looked over to Andrew, who was now holding the small crystal bowl of nuts on his lap, inspecting each one before he popped them in his mouth. After a moment or two he looked up at Faith, smiling unsurely before offering up the bowl to share.

“After you’ve had your mitts in it? Think again, Spock.”

“I’m clean for the most part,” Andrew said with a frown before shrugging and digging back into the bowl.

He, too, took his time observing and watching the people in the room, taking his own personal notes.

“She should just accept the fact that he’s not going to call.”

“What?” Faith asked, gazing from Buffy to Andrew.

“Buffy. She and James had the fight to end all fights last night. It seems he’s tired of being kept in the dark about her personal Buffy-life, and she’s not ready to share those intimate details as of yet,” he explained.

Faith quirked an eyebrow as she glared at him.

“And you know the fine details how?”

He shrugged as he continued to watch Buffy.

“Thin walls. Her phone conversation wasn’t entirely private. Everyone heard it, that’s why they’re not saying anything.”

Faith scratched her head, confused.

“Where the hell was I when all this was going down?”

Again, Andrew shrugged. “It was Friday. You were out, just like always.”

Faith thought about it for a moment. He was right. Friday and Saturday nights she made herself scarce around Scooby central and did her own thing.

“Well maybe I’ll have to stick around a bit more if all the good stuff’s happenin on the weekends.”

Faith finished off the last of her beer just as the bartender was bringing her another bottle. She accepted the fresh drink from the girl with a smile and a wink before abandoning her spot at the bar to go and finally join the Scoobies in their lively conversations.

Her first instinct was to grab a chair next to Xander and again play silent observer, but seeing the melancholy look on Buffy’s face, she grabbed a chair and plopped it next to her, turning it so that she was straddling it backwards.

“What’s up?” she asked, pulling Buffy’s attention from her still silent cell phone.

“Oh . . . not much. Are you enjoying yourself?” Buffy asked, smiling to cover her previous frown. At Faith’s nod, she continued, “The girls are swimming. You should go and join them.”

“Wow. Only been here fifteen seconds and already you’re tryin to get rid of me. I’m wounded, B,” Faith joked.

“Oh stop it,” Buffy said with a smile, “if I was trying to get rid of you, you’d be stationed with Andrew in the Czech Republic right now.”

“Harsh.”

“Completely.”

A moment of silence passed between them and Buffy took the opportunity to glance down at her cell phone again, flicking it open quietly before closing it, disappointed.

Faith watched the small display and couldn’t help but feel bad for Buffy. She didn’t like seeing the girl hung up on some jerk who’d abandon her after such a short time merely because she was taking her time opening up. Faith knew all too well how hard it was to open up sometimes.

She still had problems with it after all these years.

Hoping to give Buffy a bit of solace, Faith spoke up again.

“Buildings like this always get shitty reception, yunno. Bet he’s been tryin to call and just can’t get through.”

Buffy looked over to Faith, a hopeful look on her face.

“You think so?”

“Definitely,” Faith lied. “Maybe you should take a trip down to the lobby and try giving him a call from there. He’s probably totally worried that you’re not answering.”

She didn’t like lying to Buffy, but she didn’t like seeing her so sad. Never had, and would never get used to it, either.

“Yeah,” Buffy said, not sounding completely convinced. She stood from her chair anyway, ready to take Faith’s advice.

Faith stood too, grabbing her jacket.

“Mind if I hitch a ride down with ya? Gonna run outside and have a quick smoke before the girls get back.”

Buffy stopped and glared at Faith, but the glare was only half serious.

“Dawn’s gonna freak if she finds out you’re still smoking. You’re obviously forgetting how she used to try to randomly stick those nicotine patches on you when you slept.”

Faith could only laugh in response. Dawn had indeed tried that, and it had actually worked. Faith successfully quit smoking. Still, it didn’t stop her from having a smoke or two in social settings.

“No way I’m forgetting that. I thought some patch-sticking demon was comin after me in my sleep. I’ll make ya a deal though; you let me finish this pack off tonight, only two left in there, and I’m done for good.”

Buffy thought it over for a few moments before holding out her hand to Faith. They shook on it, then excused themselves to the Scoobies and made their way toward the elevator.

The girls stepped in the small elevator and hit the lobby button, then leaned back against the cool metal wall. Piano music played softly from the speakers as Buffy and Faith stood silently, Buffy still looking down at her phone every few seconds. The lights flickered once, causing both girls to look up.

They flickered one more time before turning off completely as the elevator came to a sudden halt between floors.

“What’s going on?” Buffy asked as the emergency light came on, barely illuminating the small elevator. She reached out and started randomly punching the now darkened buttons.

Faith held up her hands, both eyebrows raised high.

“I didn’t do it.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Buffy said as she fumbled with the door to the emergency phone. “The elevator broke. We’re trapped in here. We’re gonna run out of air.”

For a moment Faith thought that maybe Buffy was right, but then she closed her eyes and used her slayer hearing to see if she could pick up on any noises that might indicate what was going on.

“Shh, close your eyes, B, tell me what you hear.”

Buffy surprisingly did as she was told and closed her eyes, focusing on the sounds of the large hotel.

“Nothing. I hear nothing besides a few voices.”

“Right,” Faith said and opened her eyes. “There are no electrical hums anywhere in this building. It’s a power outage. No need to freak, they’ll get it sorted.”

“Yeah, but who knows when,” Buffy said dismissively. She finally pried the box open and reached the emergency phone. After a few moments, she hung it back up in defeat. “It’s dead.”

“Course it is. But hey, least we got this little emergency light . . .” Faith began, but her voice trailed off as the light dimmed, then fizzled out. “Least we have each other,” she corrected.

Even with their enhanced slayer vision, it was still almost too dark to make out anything in the dark elevator. Faith heard rather than saw Buffy slide down the wall into a sitting position. She followed suit, moving over to the same wall and sliding down it to the cool floor.

She kept a bit of space between them, however, as she didn’t want to make Buffy feel more claustrophobic than she already likely was.

After a few minutes passed, Faith chuckled to herself as she saw the faint glow of an opened cell phone illuminate the space next to her.

“If it didn’t work in there, it ain’t gonna work in here,” Faith teased.

She could see the sad smile on Buffy’s face just before she flipped the small phone shut.

“It was working in there. He’s just not calling. Guess I was silly to think that he would,” Buffy said sadly.

“You don’t know that for sure, B. Besides . . . why are you gettin all bent outta shape about some guy that isn’t patient enough to give you time to be open? You told him you do dangerous work and that you’d explain it when you knew how; why the fuck is he pushing?”

Faith’s agitation was clear in her voice. She’d met James once, and though he was a nice piece of eye candy, there wasn’t much else to him. She couldn’t understand why Buffy seemed so hung up on him.

“He just wants to know me,” Buffy explained. “He says that I’m not telling him stuff because I’m trying to keep him at arm’s length. I dunno. Maybe I am.”

“Or maybe you’re just scared about his reaction. Understandably. Most people don’t know how to react when they find out that there really are things that go bump in the night.”

“Maybe. Or maybe I’m not opening up because I don’t think he’s the one for me.”

Faith chuckled at Buffy’s words.

“B, you’ve known the guy for all of what . . . like three months? Sometimes it’s not about happily ever after. It’s about the here and now. The after can come later. You don’t hafta walk down the aisle with the guy next week or anything.”

“I know that,” Buffy said, chuckling a little bit too. “But every person I’ve ever dated, I’ve done so saying, ‘I can see myself ending up with him’ or something similar. I can’t do that with James.”

Buffy didn’t need lights to know that Faith was raising an eyebrow at her now.

“You seriously thought you were gonna end up with Angel? Or Riley? Or . . . Spike? That’s comical, B. You went out with all of them because you knew that there was no happily ever after with them. You thought you were gonna die young, so you picked these guys that you had no chance with.”

“I had a chance with Riley,” Buffy interrupted.

“Yeah, and I have a chance with Andrew,” Faith replied, earning a laugh from Buffy. “You’ve got a pretty normal life now, B – or at least as normal as it gets for us. Betcha that you can actually see the finish line now . . . the thee-bedroom house, the white picket fence, the dog and the gerbils . . .”

“Don’t you mean kids?” Buffy interrupted again.

“Same difference,” Faith answered quickly, glad that the dark hid her grin. “You’ve got this whole relationship self-destruct button that you’re itching to push. Ya gotta learn to avoid it, cos you’re gonna drive yourself nuts. Possibly the rest of us too.”

Buffy sat and thought about what Faith said for a few minutes, letting it all sink in. Maybe Faith was right. Maybe she did have a habit of hitting the self-destruct button whenever things were looking promising.

“When did you get all logical?” she asked Faith, nudging her with her elbow.

“Somewhere between LA and Cleveland. Guess being around all you goody-goodies rubbed off on me a bit, huh.”

“Not a bad thing as I see it,” Buffy said honestly and reached out, slipping her hand around Faith’s.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Faith laced her fingers through Buffy’s and gave her hand a light squeeze, silently thanking her for the compliment that was never directly said.

It didn’t need to be. Faith heard it loud and clear.

“You honestly don’t think that I’m just fucked up in the head?” Buffy asked, half joking but half serious.

She felt Faith scooch a little bit closer to her, then felt Faith take her other hand in hers.

“Do I think you’re fucked up in the head? No. And to be perfectly honest, B, I think you’re one of the most stable, rational, and collected people I know. You’re like . . . driven, and strong, and you have the biggest heart I’ve ever seen in any person, no doubt about it. I noticed it the first time I met ya, and you’ve affirmed my thoughts again and again. You’re a beautiful person, Buffy, inside and out. And yunno what? You deserve to be happy.”

Faith waited for some kind of response. Several minutes passed, but they sat in silence still, and Faith began to wonder if maybe Buffy had fallen asleep or something.

“You still there, or am I holding someone else’s hands here?” Faith asked, giving Buffy’s hands a light squeeze.

After a moment or two, Buffy finally said quietly,

“You really think all of that?”

“And then some,” Faith answered immediately. You’re the ultimate package, B. Also helps that you’re wicked hot.”

“Shut up,” Buffy said, letting go of one of Faith’s hands to smack her arm.

“I mean it. You ever decide to give the ladies a try, you holler my way and I’ll be first in line,” Faith joked.

“Now you’re just being silly.”

“Totally serious here. You ever start hitting for the home team, I’m gonna be right there vying for your affections and for some serious pillow time. I came here cos the Scoobies did, but I stay for you.”

Faith stopped then, aware of what she’d just said. She’d never allowed herself to say those words before, let alone think them, but there they were out in the open and unable to be taken back.

For a minute she thought about jumping through the emergency hatch in the ceiling and climbing to a much more Buffy-free area, but a hand on the side of her face stopped her.

That hand on the face, though, couldn’t hold a flame to the soft feel of lips brushing over hers, slowly, tentatively. Faith thought about deepening the kiss; about taking what her mind and body apparently wanted more than even she’d known, but instead she found herself pulling back and resting her forehead against Buffy’s.

“B . . . I think there’s someone in here with us,” she said, trying for humor to break the awkward moment.

But Buffy wasn’t having any of that.

“No more talking,” the blonde whispered before slowly leaning in and kissing Faith again, just as soft and as slow as before.

Faith was confused. She didn’t know what was happening nor how or why . . . but she couldn’t fight it. Her arms wrapped around Buffy’s waist and pulled her closer, right up onto her lap. Buffy had the advantage then of kissing Faith from a higher seat and effectively took control of the sudden and unexpected kiss.

She tilted Faith’s head back a bit and kissed her deeper, both hands on Faith’s face keeping her exactly where she wanted her.

Faith immediately took note of how soft Buffy’s lips were, and how her kisses tasted like understanding and forgiveness and nothing like the pure lust she tasted when she had kissed other people before.

She ran her hands down Buffy’s sides, stopping them to rest on her slightly moving hips.

“I never imagined it could be like this,” Faith whispered as Buffy was kissing lazily along her jaw.

“Shhhh,” Buffy hushed her as she let her fingers work on the buttons on Faith’s shirt.

Try as she did not to speak, alarms started going off in Faith’s head then and she had to find out what was going on.

“Wait wait wait wait wait,” she said, putting her hand on Buffy’s and stopping it. “Hold up for a sec. What’s goin on here?”

Buffy tried to lean down and kiss her again, but Faith ducked her head to the side and looked up at Buffy, trying to read her face in the dark.

“I just . . . everything you said. I thought it meant . . . did you not like it?” she asked breathlessly.

“Course I liked it, what do you think I am, some kinda nun or somethin? But soon as the lights go on you’re gonna freak out and I don’t wanna be on the other end of that. We’re finally working on the friend thing, B. I don’t wanna fuck it up.”

“Sometimes friends kiss, too,” Buffy said innocently.

“You go around kissing Willow like that? Shit, no wonder she sticks to your side like glue,” Faith joked.

“No, there has never been and will never be any Willow kissing. But . . . I don’t know. I just felt . . . it felt different with you.”

Silence passed between them again, but it didn’t last long.

“I just don’t want there to be any regrets,” Faith said quietly, resting her head back on the cool metal wall. She closed her eyes when she felt soft lips press to her forehead before Buffy moved off of her lap and sat at her side again.

It wasn’t long before the lights flickered back on and the elevator started up its usual quiet hum in its unmoving state.

“Let there be light,” Faith said as she looked around and stood up, dusting herself off. She held out a hand to Buffy, who looked at it for a moment before accepting it and being helped up.

They moved to their opposite corners again after Faith pressed the lobby button. The elevator grumbled and groaned as it prepared to move.

“You gonna call him then?” Faith asked casually, trying to play the part of the friend again.

“I probably owe him a proper chance,” Buffy answered with a shrug. “Can’t say I really tried that hard before.”

Faith nodded in agreement.

“You should.”

“I will.”

The elevator began its slow descent then, carrying them down the remaining way to the lobby. Surprisingly, the silence wasn’t as awkward as it should’ve been.

“I’ve never been good with the whole sport analogy thing,” Buffy began as the elevator slowed just before reaching the lobby floor, “but who knows; maybe if I strike out, we can talk about that whole ‘switching teams’ thing.” She offered Faith a flirty smile.

Faith grinned an honest to goodness Faith grin.

“Yeah, maybe once we get the whole friends gig down, I could coach ya a bit.”

The doors finally opened as they smiled at one another, letting a fresh breath of air into the now stuffy elevator. Buffy took a step out and began to walk toward the front doors, but she turned around when she noticed that Faith wasn’t with her.

“You going outside?” she asked as she indicated the front door with her thumb.

“Nah, think I’m just gonna . . . go on back upstairs. Don’t wanna incur the wrath of Dawnie on her birthday and all,” Faith explained.

Truth was that she felt like she needed a smoke now more than ever, but she needed some alone time even more than that. She needed to process everything that had just happened.

“Oh, okay,” Buffy said with a smile. “I’ll see you upstairs then?”

“You’ve got it,” Faith smiled back.

Buffy turned around and began to walk further into the lobby, but the sound of the familiar sound of the elevator chime sent her running back toward Faith yelling, “Hold the door please!”

Faith stepped forward and put her hand between the doors, stopping them from closing. She was more than surprised when she felt Buffy run into her arms, lean up, and plant one last kiss on her still tingling lips.

It didn’t last long. It didn’t sweep her off her feet. It wasn’t about love, or passion.

It was a promise.

Buffy stepped back after a moment and smiled all big. She held up her hand – still clutching around her cell phone – and waved at Faith as she walked backwards.

Faith could only manage to smile and wink before the door chimed and closed once again. Backing up against the cool metal wall, she closed her eyes and let out a happy sigh.

James was as good as gone.

Part Four: Just Another Thursday Night

Suggested music: Lips of an Angel by Hinder

It’s just another Thursday night Sin City, ‘cept for the fact that I’m not sinnin’, and I’m far enough away from the strip not to be drawn in by the flashy lights and cheap drinks.

It’s kinda funny how Vegas loses some of its spark after you’ve lived there a while.

I think it’s been just over a year now, maybe a bit longer. Time flies when you’re having fun or so the saying goes, right?

Truth be told, life isn’t bad right now. After that first year in LA when we fled SunnyD, I came here to help set up and run some slayer facilities that Giles had in the works. No idea why he chose Vegas; I remember him saying something about property values and a booming economy, but I think he was only in it for the gambling. G’s a roulette fiend.

I figured that besides the slaying gig, there wasn’t much else for me to do. I’m not educated, and besides being able to lift things five times my weight, I don’t have any skills.

So, the deal I have here isn’t all that bad. Full-time job -- actually on the good side of the new Council, wicked studio apartment, and a girl that doesn’t care if I smoke or don’t shower or even if I need to take off for a day or two or five just to blow off some steam.

As far as outward appearances go, I didn’t leave anything behind.

‘Cept for that annoying thing called my heart.

Yeah, it’s true. I fell big time in love with Buffy Summers. Yunno how it goes. Girls save world, girls gain sense of freedom, girls bond . . . it’s history from there. Not to say that it was a quick process or anything. Almost two months went by after we got to LA before me and B even hashed things out, but once we did, we were pretty damn inseparable.

We hung out a lot and just took time to get to know each other better. There was always too much shit goin’ on in Sunnydale for us to get to do that. Thing about closing the Hellmouth and saving the world, though? Left us with lots of time on our hands to just chill out for a while.

It was nice.

Fuck, it was more than nice.

Not sayin’ that the Scoobs were real big with the welcome into their little clique, but Buffy dragged me along with them everywhere they went, and pretty soon they got over it.

B made them. Gotta thank her for that. No one’s ever stood up for me like that before. Was kinda nice knowing someone had my back.

After about three or four months passed, the Scoobs finally saw how much me and B just . . . balanced each other. We smiled a lot more. We got through everything that was tossed at us because we dealt with it together, like a team. We could anticipate each other, and life was just good.

That’s when I started to feel it. The little niggling feeling in my chest every time she was near me or looked at me or, yunno . . . blinked. Every little thing that B did had me realizing how much I was falling for her again.

I’d promised myself a long time ago that I’d never go back to that place – pining over Buffy from afar.

But yunno what? She wasn’t keeping me at arm’s length anymore. She’d welcomed me into her life and made me feel like I belonged.

Crazy thing was, she was falling for me too. Yeah I’m cocky, but not when it comes to that. I’m not talkin’ outta my ass here. She was always finding ways to spend more time with me, touch me all soft and stuff, smile all flirty at me.

God, that smile of hers . . .

. . . shit, it hurts to sit here and think about all of it.

I shouldn’t. There’s no reason that I should be taking a mental stroll down memory lane. Carrie’s on the other end of the couch with my feet on her lap and we’re just . . . I dunno. It’s not right for me to think about B when I’m right here, right now.

It’s not fair to Carrie. Fuck, it’s not fair to me.

Still, she’s pretty much constantly on my mind.

Life goes on though. We realized we couldn’t stay in LA forever, and everyone had to make decisions about where their lives were headed. Red and Xander took off together, just wanting to experience a life different from their own. Giles retired back to England. The slayers were sent to different places around the world.

Shit, I think that Kennedy ended up in Mozambique.

And that just left me and B to make our decisions.

That’s when whatever we were building together fell apart.

Like I said . . . without the Council, I had no direction. Giles promised to set me up somewhere so I could carry on with life as a Slayer. It’s what I know, and it’s what I’m good at it. But . . . Buffy was done. She wanted a normal life for her and Dawn. No more Council, no more nasties, and no more things that go bump in the night.

And yunno what? She deserved it. She earned it. I couldn’t stop her.

As much as I wanted to go with her, I knew that I couldn’t. I’m not good at ‘normal’. I’m a fuck up. What I had with B . . . I never wanted to fuck up.

I think that we both knew it was coming. Right until the very end, we acted like we weren’t moving to opposite sides of the globe. I helped her pack her things, but we never once talked about it. We didn’t wanna deal with what it meant for us.

So, I got in the cab with her and Dawnie and we headed to the airport. I helped them get their bags out of the car, I hugged Dawnie goodbye, and then I looked at Buffy. I looked at her good and hard, cos I knew it was really goodbye. Our lives had come to a fork in the road, and we chose different paths.

It was what was best for the both of us.

Least I thought so at the time, anyhow.

I pulled her into my arms and we just stood there for a minute all quiet. I had no clue what to say. It woulda been emotional blackmail for me to have told her I loved her then, because then she woulda rethought her life plans. There was no way I coulda done that to her. It wasn’t fair.

She kissed my shoulder before she walked away and out of my life. We didn’t say goodbye. There were no tears. It was just over.

We lost our chance.

We tried to keep in touch, but it pretty much sucked ass. I didn’t wanna hear about how great her new life was. I wanted her to be happy, really I did. I do. But I also wanted her to miss me. To need me. To finally say the words that I’d wanted to hear the whole time I knew her.

Maybe I’m an asshole for wishful thinking, but I’d always hoped she’d call and ask me to come to her, or that she’d profess her love for me and we could live happily ever after.

I can’t tell you how many times I almost called her and told her I loved her, but I just couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t emotionally blackmail her like that. It wouldn’t be right for her to change her life cos I had some kinda awakening and finally found the balls to tell her I loved her. How fair would that be?

If she woulda said the words, I woulda hopped on the first flight and went to her. For a week, for a year, forever. Didn’t matter. If I knew she wanted me, I would’ve been there.

But the fact remains that she never asked me to come, and I never asked if she wanted me there. If she wanted me at all.

So, we did the friendly phone call, every three or four days at first, then once a week, and then maybe once a month or so. I can’t even remember the last time we talked now. I guess maybe it’s some kind of a quiet acceptance.

I had my shot back in LA and I blew it.

Still, it doesn’t stop me from thinking about her every day. Every hour. Every minute.

The last few times me and B talked, we were both involved in relationships. She was dating some kinda Immortal guy, but she told me again and again that their relationship wasn’t ‘like that,’ whatever that means. They talked a lot, or so she said. I kinda don’t wanna think about it.

I told her about me and Carrie, and I guess that she took it well. I met Carrie outside The Mirage hotel on the strip. A vamp was trying to pull her into an alley and I played hero. She didn’t ask questions about the vamp, and I didn’t explain.

Sometimes it’s better not knowing about the things that live in the dark.

But that’s basically the basis of our entire relationship. She stays at my apartment most nights. Sure, she has her own, but I think she feels safe with me. Sometimes, I need some space so I just toss on my jacket and head out for awhile. Last time I did that, I was gone four days. Just spent some time in the desert, doing my reflection and balance thing.

When I came back, she was still at my apartment. The dishes were done, leftovers were in the fridge for me, and she was sat smiling softly on the patio as I approached.

Yeah, this girl really is a gem. Honestly, if I wasn’t still in love with Buffy, I think I could love her some day. But . . . like I said . . . I’m still in love with Buffy. I appreciate Carrie. I like having her around. Still, I know she’s not the one for me, and she knows it too.

I told her about B from the start so she’d know that I wasn’t fully available in the heart department, and she understood. It’s why she doesn’t push. She knows that if Buffy was ever to call and ask me to go to her, I would. There are no questions about it in my mind.

So, we don’t talk about it.

A quiet understanding.

I know it’s not right and I tell her again and again that she’s worth so much more, but she says she’s happy to keep things as they are. Maybe she thinks that some day things will miraculously change. I don’t have the heart to tell her she’s wrong.

It’s getting pretty late now and I can feel sleep luring me. Slaying was a bust tonight, so I came back early and we’ve just been chillin’ and watchin some TV. Not sure how long I’ve been dozing for, but all this thinking about Buffy has me dreaming about her too. I see her sat next to a window with a phone in her hand, gazing out into the night. There are tears running down her face and she looks so sad.

I want to reach out and touch her, but it’s a dream and something is holding me back. My mouth opens but no sound comes out. I’m starting to get weirded out, but then I notice that Buffy’s looking down at the phone in her hand now. Dialing.

“Pick up the phone, Faith,” she says and looks directly into my eyes, seeing me there for the first time.

I’m jolted away when I hear the phone ringing on the coffee table.

Carrie reaches forward and grabs it, stealing a quick glance at the caller ID before smiling almost sadly and handing it to me.

“For you,” she says quietly, then looks back at the TV and pretends to be really interested.

I look down at the phone and see Buffy’s number.

Without another word I swing my legs around and stand up, making my way to the spare bedroom. Call me crazy but I don’t think it’s right to talk to B in front of Carrie. I think she appreciated it too. Another quiet understanding.

I can’t even wait to make it into the bedroom. Half way there I push the connect button and bring the phone to my ear.

“Hey B,” I say, a smile instantly appearing on my face.

“Hey,” she answers, and I can almost hear her smile too. I’ll be damned if she didn’t sniffle too.

“Was just thinkin’ about ya,” I confess.

“You always say that,” she replies with a chuckle.

“Cos it’s always true.” Maybe a bit too honest, but there’s no need to play games. “So what’s happening, hot stuff? Pretty late. It’s gotta be what, like . . . seven in the morning there or something.”

Hmm. That’s pretty weird. It was dark outside in my dream.

Dude, what the hell am I talking about? It was a dream. She coulda been doing the hula or something.

“Guess I can’t sleep,” she says quietly.

The conversation goes dead for a few seconds as I wait for her to continue. She’s not though, so I guess I’m up to bat again.

“Everything okay?” I ask, expecting the usual ‘just peachy.’

“Not really,” she answers, and I hear her start crying softly.

“Hey . . . what’s up?” I ask, my voice cracking a little. Hearing her cry is breaking my heart. “Is everyone okay? Dawn?”

“Yeah, everyone’s okay. Dawn’s away at school, and Dorian is . . . well, he’s long gone.”

Ahh. The boyfriend. No wonder she’s crying. Another bad breakup for Buffy Summers. I feel bad for her, I do, but I’m not all that crushed about the boyfriend thing. Still, it’s time to be a friend.

“Sorry to hear that,” I say quietly. I hope she can’t tell that I’m lying.

“Thanks, but I’m not.”

Um, what?

“What?”

“I said that I’m not. I’m not sad that he’s gone. It wasn’t meant to be. It was just another distraction that I put in my life,” she says quickly, sniffling.

“He didn’t hurt you, did he B?” I ask. I’ve gotta know. If the bastard laid so much as a finger on her, I’ll put his name to the test.

“No, nothing like that. He tried very hard to make me happy. I asked him to leave.”

Color me confused.

“Well why’d you do that?”

She pauses for a moment and I hear her take a deep breath.

“Because I didn’t love him.”

“Well then it’s time to move on to bigger and better things, B.” I take a deep breath and prepare myself for what’s I’m about to say. “Course you’re gonna be sad for a while, but you’ll get back out there and find someone that you do love, and when you do . . .”

“I don’t need to find someone,” she interrupts me. “I already have.”

Oh. Okay, so she’s calling me for what . . . approval?

“Well, that’s great I guess.” Maybe an ounce of bitterness came out then. “Do I know him?”

“It’s you,” she blurts out, and I can hear her cover her mouth after she’s said it.

Hello! Can I get a repeat on that please? I think my head just exploded.

“What?” I ask slowly.

“It’s you,” she repeats and starts crying again. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to spring it out you like that, Faith. I didn’t. It’s not fair of me. There are ten million reasons why I shouldn’t have said anything, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

Shit, that’s all the fuckin go ahead I need. I sit down at the computer – compliments of Giles – and go to the bookmarks. A few clicks later and I’m typing in my credit card info, booking my flight into Rome. I don’t know where the transfers are or how much the ticket costs. All I know is that I leave in eight hours.

“Maybe there are ten million reasons why you shouldn’t have,” I say to her.

“I know,” she half-sobs. “I’m so sorry. I know that you’ve got your own life now, and a g-girlfriend. You seemed happy the last time I talked to you. It’s why I haven’t called you again. I didn’t want to be the one to bring all of that crashing down. It’s so not fair, and I am so, so sorry, Faith.”

“You didn’t let me finish,” I stop her babbling. “Yeah, maybe there are ten million reasons why you shouldn’t have said anything. I’m a screw up. I’m a pig. You can do better. You should do better. But there’s one really important reason why you should have.”

“Why?” she asks quietly.

I click ‘ok’ and my boarding pass starts to print out.

“Cos I love you too.”

Something in the hallway catches my eye and I turn to see Carrie standing there with a duffle bag over her arm, smiling at me sadly.

“Uhh, hold on a minute,” I stammer into the phone before covering the receiver with my hand and standing up. “Hey,” I say to Carrie, walking over to her.

“Hey,” she says back. “I’m . . . listen, I’m gonna go.”

She doesn’t sound mad. Sad, maybe, but I know it’s nothing she won’t get over. The way she’s looking at me lets me know that.

“You don’t have to,” I say, but she shakes her head at me.

“I do. You’ve been waiting for that phone call for a long time, Faith,” she says. She takes a few steps closer to me and puts her hand on my cheek, touching it lightly. “Go to her. Find a reason for your heart to smile again.”

She gives me a soft kiss on the lips – our last goodbye – and she turns around and walks out the door, leaving me standing here with the phone still clutched in my hand.

“You’re gonna make someone very lucky one day, Care,” I say to her retreating form.

She pauses and looks at me over her shoulder. I see the silent tears streaming down her face, but she’s smiling. It’s an honest to goodness smile.

I don’t put the phone back to my ear until I hear the front door click behind her.

“Sorry,” I say into the phone as I make my way back to the computer.

“Tell me again,” she says absently.

I smile.

“I love you, Buffy. Always have, and will forever if you let me. Hell, even if you don’t let me I will. I’ve tried not to and it’s too hard to fight.”

I can hear her laugh happily through her sniffles. God damn, I can’t wait to show her how much I love her. Never gonna let her go again.

“What do we do?” she asks after a couple of moments pass. “It’s not like you’re exactly available.”

“Carrie just left,” I tell her.

“Oh god, please tell me that you had some horrible fight before I called and that she was already leaving,” she says sadly.

“Not quite. But she knew she never had my heart. It’s always been about you. Guess she finally decided to move on,” I answer truthfully.

“Doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“Didn’t think it would, but I’m hoping that we can get past that. I’m sick and tired of being afraid to love you, B. I thought we lost our chance forever when we left LA, and to be honest, I’m still wavering on disbelief that all of this is really happening.”

“Well it is,” she says softly, and I can hear her smiling again.

“I can’t wait to see that smile,” I tell her, and I hear her smile even bigger then.

“Might be a while before you can,” she says sadly.

Can’t wait to hear her reaction when I tell her I’m coming to see her.

“Not so. Just booked my ticket. My flight leaves in eight hours. I’ll see you before the day is through.”

I wait for some kinda excited reaction, but all I get is a little questioning hum.

“Flight? I thought that it only takes like two or three hours to drive from Las Vegas to LA.”

My smile falls.

“You’re in LA?”

“Yeah, I moved back a week ago. Didn’t Angel tell you?” she asks.

I look down at my $1200 dollar non-refundable ticket.

“Nope, never got the memo.”

A moment passes before she speaks again.

“…was it at least a cheap flight?”

I can’t help but chuckle.

“I think I just made some airline a little bit richer and gave the person in the seat next to me a whole lotta sprawling room.”

“You didn’t,” she says, trying to hide her laugh.

“Totally did,” I answer back. “Doesn’t matter, it’s on the Council’s expense account.”

“Oh, Giles will be thrilled,” she jokes.

“No doubt about that.” I pause for a moment, then, “Why the hell aren’t you givin’ me your address? I’ve got a bag to pack, places to see, people to do.”

She laughs now. An honest to goodness laugh. My heart does a little fluttery thing.

“I’m three blocks from the old Hyperion. Jade Flatts, apartment 3b.”

I grin. “Hope you meant what you said, blondie. Gonna be there before you can change your mind and go globe-trotting again.”

Without giving her any time to respond, I hang up the phone. I’m serious when I say I’m gonna be there before she can change her mind.

I walk around my apartment, picking up loose odds and ends that I know I’m gonna need. Clothes, hair and make-up stuff, a couple DVDs and video games, my iPod, and my leather jacket. I’ll have to come back for the rest and to sign a cancel lease agreement.

Damn, this is gonna be a big change, but yunno what? I don’t care. If I have Buffy, nothing else matters.

I make the ride to LA in record time. There was a touch and go situation with a state trooper, but I put on my best flirty smile and talked him outta the ticket he wanted to give me. That woulda been two tickets Giles woulda had to foot the bill for. Thank god he’s only getting the $1200 plane ticket and not the $100 speeding ticket, right?

Shit. I’m gonna have to hide from him for a couple of weeks ‘til he cools down.

I have to circle around Buffy’s block about three times before I finally find a parking spot. By the time I get outta my car and start walking down the block to her place, I start feeling the tingles. The tingles that let me know she’s nearby.

As I approach her building, I look up at the terraces. To my surprise, I see Buffy sitting out on hers, curled up on a small chair with a blanket around herself. She smiles and looks down at me, and I swear to god I lose my breath for a second. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

“Am I supposed to start quoting Shakespeare now? Something about Juliet and the sun and over and yonder and through the woods?” I ask her.

She stands up and walks to the edge of the balcony, resting her elbows on the railing.

“Quoting isn’t necessary,” she jokes. “But you coming up here and stealing a kiss totally is.”

I smile all big at her.

I know she expects me to come running up the stairs and knocking on her door, but I have other plans in mind. With a grunt, I heave my bag up into the air and onto the third floor balcony. Before it even lands I’m scaling up the side of the building, bracing myself between an iron downspout and the other balconies.

She steps back and watches, amused.

What can I say? I’ve been patient long enough.

I hop onto the balcony with a thud and fix my rumpled clothes, then I make my way over to her without another moments hesitation. My arms instantly wrap around her and pull her into a hug, holding her tightly against me. Her arms wrap over my shoulders and I swear to god I feel like my heart’s gonna explode.

When I hugged her at the airport before she left, it wasn’t like this. I think by that point my heart knew that our chance was lost. But here we are now, a whole new chance being offered to us, and we’re both on board this time.

No more games, no more hesitation, no more being afraid of our feelings.

I pull back and look into her eyes, seeing there for the first time the one emotion she’d always keep hidden away as best as she could: love.

She rests her forehead against mine and closes her eyes, breathing in nice and deep. I do the same, filling my senses with everything Buffy.

“I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get here,” she whispers.

“No more sorrys,” I interrupt her. “All that matters is that we’re here now, yeah?”

“Yeah,” she agrees, nodding a little.

She puts her hand on the side of my face and runs her thumb over my lips, watching as I give it a little kiss.

“I’m so in love with you,” she whispers and my heart clenches in my chest. It’s the best feeling I’ve ever felt.

“I love you, Buffy,” I whisper back, and I lean down to seal it with a kiss.

Her lips are softer than I ever could have imagined and I feel like I’ve just died and gone to heaven. There’s nothing sweeter in the whole world than what I’m feeling right here, right now, this very minute.

It’s just another Thursday night in the City of Angels. There’s a car alarm blaring a few blocks away, quite possibly from my car. I just realized I left my cell phone back in Vegas. A neighbor is blaring Lionel Richie loud enough to wake the apartment complex, and I’m pretty sure we’re getting perved on by some guy across the street.

Buffy giggles against my lips and my heart smiles.

I’m home.

The End.


 

 
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