CHAPTER THREE
"You make me feel like the Amazon's running between my thighs"
~Paula Cole
Buffy awoke with a satisfied smile on her face. She was warm and snug in bed, not an easy feat to achieve in a castle. She stretched carefully because she was sore in all the right places and because she didn’t want to jostle Faith awake. Their first time waking up together should be special, memorable even, and Buffy had some specific ideas on how to make that happen.
She couldn’t stop smiling, but as she carefully rolled over to greet Faith, she saw that the other side of the big bed was empty. Her smile wavered but it didn’t disappear completely, beaming right back to her in full shine when she saw how the indentation in the mattress was right next to her and the obviously unused pillow was way over on the other side of the bed. Just to confirm her theory, she pressed her nose to the mattress and received a warm, delicious blast of Faith that set her senses on fire. Yep, Faith had pulled an all-nighter and slept just as close to her as she could get.
Buffy was hoping she’d just gone to get them breakfast, but she wasn’t that naïve. The odds were that Faith was freaking a little bit in the morning light, but Buffy wasn’t worried. She knew when she spoke to her, she could put those fears to rest.
Hell, the way she felt right now, Buffy could cure cancer and the common cold, get the Scythe back safe and sound all by herself, and still have plenty of time left over to have sex with Faith. She was always going to have plenty of time to have sex with Faith, in fact when she got back to her room, she was going to write it in her daily planner, in pen. Twice a day, forever…just as soon as she found the planner.
She knew she should get up and get dressed, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to snuggle with Faith, then tease her until neither of them could take it anymore. Then she wanted to go down on her and stay there forever.
She couldn’t wait to do it, and when she did, she was going to make sure that Faith knew it was her first time. Partly because if she didn’t do a good job, she wanted Faith to know that she’d get better, but mostly because she wanted to emphasize to Faith that her first time was going to be with her.
God, she was so happy. She’d had sex with Faith, something she’d been fantasizing about since the moment all those years ago when she’d first heard:
“Thanks, B. Couldn’t have done it without you.”
All this time Buffy had felt a connection she understood had nothing to do with their Slayer bond and everything to do with them being Buffy and Faith. Still she had continued to resist, dancing the stupid dance they’d started together years ago, a dance whose steps were designed to do nothing but keep them apart. Finally last night, that stupidity had ended.
Faith had become tired of the game, tired of the fear, tired of denying what she felt. She had boldly dragged the truth into the light and now neither of them would ever be able to ignore it again. The old dance was over and now it was time for a new one to begin, and Buffy was more than ready.
With one last deep inhalation, she threw back the covers and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She stretched and winced again, noticing the fingerprint marks still bruised into the skin around her hips, and with that smile still on her face, she began looking for her clothes. She spotted them easily, or at least bits of them. They were torn to pieces and the sight made her body start throbbing again as she remembered how they got that way.
Faith had not been gentle, she had not been patient, and Buffy had loved every minute of their coupling. She had never allowed anyone to take control of her like that, but then when Faith had, Buffy realized she wanted it. It turned her on, the passion and forcefulness had been more than sexy, and the fact that it was Faith who had lost all reason and patience…well, Buffy had dreamed of a moment like that between them.
There was no going back, it was all out in the open now. Maybe Faith could have claimed it was just her anger and their attraction, but she’d crossed the line last night by staying. She had slept as closely to Buffy as she could get, she had snuggled in softly and spent the rest of the night curled up with the woman she loved, and that was not something Buffy was going to let go of.
Maybe Faith would still try to spin it some other way, Buffy hoped not because she didn’t want to waste any more time, but if she did try that’s all it would be, just spin. The secret was out: Faith loved Buffy and every single one of her actions last night had proven that, and Buffy wasn’t going to let her backtrack. Last night Faith had been the aggressor, but Buffy knew it was now her turn. If she wanted this, if she wanted Faith, she was going to have to take her.
She went to the bathroom and when she came out, she had to laugh. The room looked like it had been the scene of an epic battle, and when she thought about it, that was exactly what it had been. The dresser was nothing but a pile of wood, the frame around the door was cracked, and the bed looked like it was slanting slightly to the left. Okay, so that’s what it looked like when two Slayers finally had sex after waiting way too many years to go at it. Buffy decided it looked good.
Faith’s bag was still right where it had been, so Buffy pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She slid them on quickly, wondering if she could make it back to her room without getting spotted. Although not many people would notice she was wearing Faith’s clothes, she didn’t feel like bringing everyone into her newest relationship before she and Faith had had a chance to talk about it. Been there, done that.
Despite the fact that Faith was bigger and fuller than Buffy, she wore her clothes much tighter and as a result they fit better than they had a right to.
Buffy glanced at herself in the mirror for a final check and was pleased to see she looked completely normal, except for the huge smile that apparently owned her face for the foreseeable future.
She also looked like just what she was: a woman who last night had had her world shaken and today was very much liking where everything had landed. It was also fairly evident that she’d just had the best sex of her life and was looking forward to doing it again, and the fact that her shirt sported an adorable little red devil complete with a pitchfork seemed to seal the deal.
She opened the door slowly, peeked her head out, then made a break for it. Her room was sort of on the other side of the castle, the idea being that she and Faith should stay as far apart as possible. That had obviously been a waste of time, and Buffy grinned happily and scooted as fast as she could past the rooms where anyone could pop out at any time.
It was still early and the Slayers on Faith’s corridor had all been on guard duty the entire night. It seemed highly unlikely any of them would be awake after having just gone to bed, but Buffy always expected the unexpected. Her “private” night with Satsu stood as the perfect example, and so she went quickly and quietly, praying under her breath as she hurried on her way.
Soon all she had left to navigate was “Scooby Row” and her room was at the end past Giles, Xander, Andrew, and Willow. She avoided the squeaky spot with a practiced, well-timed leap, and then she was safely in her own room. She locked the door with a sigh of relief and began undressing.
She hesitated before removing Faith’s shirt, holding it to her face as she breathed in the most mouth-watering scent she’d ever smelled. The only way she could make herself take it off was to focus on the fact that she was very soon going to be getting a whiff of the real thing, complete with kisses and inappropriate touching that was so appropriate it could give lessons.
Her shower was quick and she was dressed in her own clothes and out the door in a matter of minutes. She wasn’t by any stretch of the imagination a morning person, but she was ready and raring to go today. She hadn’t felt so good, hadn’t slept so well in years, and that smile was still on her face, probably permanently affixed.
Her first stop was the infirmary. She entered quietly just in case, but Satsu was already awake. She smiled when she saw Buffy:
“Hi.”
“Hi. How are you feeling?”
Satsu looked irritated:
“Fine. I told you last night I didn’t need to come here.”
“And I told you that you did.”
“Well I’m getting out in about two hours, and I can’t wait to get some sleep in my own bed.”
Buffy sat down on the edge of the mattress:
“Satsu, about last night…”
“There’s no need to explain. Trust me, I figured it out the second I screwed up.”
“What exactly happened?”
“I wasn’t thinking straight, there’s a joke. Anyway, I felt kind of awkward and I asked her if you’d told her.”
“Oh.”
Satsu laughed, holding her jaw as she did.
“Yeah, ‘oh’. I tried to bluff my way out of it and claim I was talking about the plan, but she didn’t buy it for a second. It didn’t take her long to put two and two together.”
“She’s always read people fast. Why did you think I’d told her?”
“Because she’s ‘Not So You’d Notice’, isn’t she?”
Buffy looked her in the eye:
“…Yes, she is.”
Satsu sighed and leaned back on her pillows, her head turned away to stare out the window.
“She’s hot, I’ll give her that. And also scary and tough as hell.”
“I’d say that’s a pretty good sum-up.”
Satsu’s eyes returned to Buffy’s:
“You look so happy…happier than I’ve ever seen you.”
“Satsu, I’m sorry. I never…”
Her hand found Buffy’s, bringing it up to her lips for a soft kiss:
“Hey, don’t ever apologize to me for being happy. That’s what I want for you, always. I wish it was me who could give that to you, but it’s not and we both know it.”
“Sometimes I wish it was too. Faith is…well, Faith is…”
“She’s one complicated woman.”
“Again with the perfect sum-up that perfectly sums it up. How’d you get so smart?”
“That’s what happens when you get your brains scrambled by a jealous Slayer.”
Buffy laughed:
“So you did have a concussion? See, I told you!”
“Gee, don’t get so excited. I know it’s the first time you’ve ever been right, but…”
Buffy slapped her lightly on the shoulder:
“Funny. So um…”
“We’re friends, Buffy, and we’ll be friends forever. I love you, but I’ll deal. They say your first love’s special, and you’re definitely that, but I always knew we were never going to be forever. Of course I was hoping we’d have more than just one night together, but I don’t regret it. I never will.”
“I hope you don’t think I was just using…”
“Stop right there. We went over this weeks ago, and nothing’s changed, at least not for me. Like I said, if anyone did any using, it was me. I’m the one who seduced you, even after you...”
Buffy’s shook her head in wonder:
“You are so going to make some woman deliriously happy one day.”
Satsu got a mischievous look on her face:
“It’s not too late, I might be willing to take you back if you play your cards right.”
Buffy laughed:
“You deserve someone much better than me.”
“I doubt that woman exists, but then what do I know? I have a concussion.”
There were tears in Buffy’s eyes as she looked at the woman who loved her with no hesitation, no doubt, no fear, and for a second she wondered what it would be like…
But then a pair of dark eyes came to her mind and Buffy knew the most basic truth about love: No one got a choice, you loved who you loved.
“Thank you, Satsu. For understanding and making this so easy. And thank you for your friendship. It means so much to me, I don’t ever want to lose it.”
“You won’t. As for making this easy, what else am I supposed to do? I knew it was a long shot from the start, you made it perfectly clear there wasn’t a future for us, but I was hoping maybe someday I could change your mind.”
She kissed Buffy’s hand again:
“I’m a grown-up, Buffy, and I wanted you. I’m not sorry, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat…but you’re not mine, and I’m not going to try to hang on to you when it’s not my place.”
Buffy had no words for the kindness that was being offered to her, so she pulled Satsu to her, hugging her and kissing her lightly on the cheek.
There were tears shining in Buffy’s eyes again as she stood to go:
“Get some rest, you’re off the clock until you feel ready.”
“I’m ready now! I can definitely…”
“Satsu, you got banged up pretty good last night and you just told me you can’t wait to get into your own bed. We need you rested and at full strength when we go after them, so…”
She looked embarrassed, her gaze falling from Buffy’s eyes to the blanket covering her:
“Buffy, she completely kicked my ass. I wasn’t even a challenge for her.”
“And that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Faith’s like me and she’s way more experienced than you are. Toss in that she was out of control mad, well trust me, I couldn’t quite handle her either.”
That smile gave her away, and Satsu made a disgusted noise:
“Okay lady, way too much information.”
Buffy came back from her reverie with a start:
“Huh?”
“I might be highly evolved when it comes to break-ups, Buffy, but I don’t want to know about…you know.”
“Oh, right! Sorry.”
“Apology accepted. So I’m guessing you’re off now to find her?”
“Yep, although God knows where she is.”
Satsu’s grin would have been bigger, but her jaw didn’t want to cooperate.
“Maybe He does, but I know where she was.”
“She was here?”
“And looking really sorry. She came to apologize and tell me she was leaving soon, that she wouldn’t be in our way anymore.”
“She said what?!”
“I told her she was an idiot, that you‘d never loved me and we’d only had a one night stand. I told her it was over for good weeks ago, but she wasn’t quite listening. Between you and me, she’s got a lot of areas she needs to work on.”
Buffy was only half paying attention as she tried to think:
“Yes, she does. God, she’s such an idiot!”
“I think I just said that.”
“Yes, you did. Satsu, I need to go find her before she does something stupid…stupider. Can I do anything for you before I go?”
“Just keep that smile on your face. I’ve always thought you were so beautiful, but God, I had no idea.”
Buffy blushed and again felt a pang of loss. The woman in front of her was a wonder, so composed and dignified, and so very loving. Buffy knew she was a fool to just walk away from her, but she also knew where she belonged and there was no way she could ever feel sad about that.
She loved Faith, with all her faults and craziness, and as far as Buffy could see, they were made for each other. It wasn’t going to be easy, it wasn’t going to be simple, but Buffy knew it was going to be hers and Faith’s…and that was going to be more than enough.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, and that’s sort of an order too.”
Satsu saluted:
“Yes, ma’am. Good luck.”
“Thanks. I’m probably going to need it.”
Then she was out the door and Satsu let the tears fall:
“Goodbye, Buffy……Damn.”
Faith had walked as far as she could from the castle, right up to the edge of where Willow’s spell ended. There was no getting in or out, but at least Faith felt freer than she did inside of the building. She needed all the space and air she could get because she was pretty sure she was fighting off a panic attack.
She could not believe what she’d done. She’d lost it completely, almost killing someone, then letting it all out on Buffy. Something had snapped and she just couldn’t stop herself, and now in the clear light of day, she had no fucking idea what she was going to do.
Last night she had been all done with the game they’d played since they’d met, and she had been determined to make Buffy admit that she too felt the feeling that had always crackled between them. She’d been in a fury and she’d forced Buffy to accept the truth, never giving her a choice as she’d angrily taken just what she’d always wanted to take.
She raised a shaking hand to brush her hair back from her face…what the fuck had she done? She knew the sex had been phenomenal and there was no problem there. There was no way Buffy would even dare act like it hadn’t been the best ever, like she hadn’t had a great time.
Faith knew she’d fucked her every which way, and although Buffy could be a bitch, no way would she try to pull something that low. She’d given Buffy her chance to leave and Buffy hadn’t even pretended to take it. No, the sex wasn’t the problem and it wasn’t going to be.
The problem was what had happened afterwards. Afterwards had shoved everything right out into the open and for the life of her, Faith couldn’t see any way she could shove it right the fuck back where it came from.
How she felt about Buffy, how she’d always felt about Buffy was now on full display, along with everything she’d ever wanted. All of the pain, all the longing, all of the love, all of the everything she was…Buffy knew it all now.
“Fuck!”
Faith’s scream echoed loudly around the field she was in and with a last kick, she spun around and began walking again. She was fucked, so fucked. Buffy was going to tear her a new one, probably while she had her tongue down Satsu’s throat.
She had to get out and she had to get out now, but Giles had been absolutely no help at all. He didn’t understand and she couldn’t offer him any explanation other than she and Buffy had had a fight.
“Faith, I’m truly sorry that you and Buffy are still at odds, but you’re needed here. This is not a small matter that must be attended to, it’s believed these vampires are trying to control the Slayer line in some fashion. I must insist that you stay.”
“Haven’t you been fucking listening?! I can’t stay here! I need to go!”
“Please, calm down. Perhaps if we met and I mediated between the two of you, surely the problem could be…”
“Only thing that’s gonna resolve the problem’s if I get the fuck outta Dodge. There’s a million other Slayers here, why do I need to…”
Giles removed his glasses as he studied her:
“Because Willow and the Coven believe that channeling the pure Slayer essence between you and Buffy…”
“Jesus, is that all you people can ever come up with? Me and B always have to be joined? Well fuck Willow, fuck the Coven, and fuck you! I’m leavin’!”
She’d slammed out of his door in a near panic, shoving Xander back into his room as he came out into the hall to see what all the commotion was about.
She tore out of the castle at a run and didn’t stop until she’d gone as far as she could. She kicked and punched at the invisible wall, but it was no big surprise when nothing happened. She was trapped, all of her feelings out in the open and heading back to her old ways with a twist: she was in love and she’d made it clear as glass.
The same question kept repeating in her head: Why the hell had she spent the night with Buffy in the same bed? She knew better, way, way better, and yet she’d spent the whole night snuggled up like a little bitch pussy who couldn’t sleep alone because she was afraid of the dark.
She couldn’t have announced her real feelings better if she’d hired a brass band and thrown herself a big gay parade, all complete with a shirt that said:
“I Love Buffy Summers Bunches and Bunches”.
Buffy knew her and she knew what it meant, how big a deal it was that Faith had stayed the entire night. There’d been no “get some, get gone”, not this time. No, this time Faith had hung around like a lovesick dipshit, just laying her heart out to be stomped on whenever and however Buffy chose to stomp on it. She’d fucked up and she’d fucked up royally.
There was nothing to do now except try and avoid Buffy as much as she possibly could. Hopefully Buffy would just let it go, or maybe she’d let it go and still want to fuck on the side. Right. Buffy was a lot of things but she wasn’t a cheater and Faith didn’t want to make her one, at least not any more than she maybe already had last night.
She sat down under a tree facing the castle and pulled her last cigarette out of her jacket pocket. She lit it up with the intensity of a junkie holding onto a crack pipe, and she took a huge drag hoping it would settle her nerves. It didn’t, and she suspected even if she started mainlining heroin it wasn’t going to work. Nothing was going to work but a complete rewind…well, not “complete”
She would never give back her night with Buffy, not for anything. She’d been dreaming of it for years, dreaming of making Buffy scream for her, of seeing her face when she came, of being the one that gave her every ounce of pleasure she could stand. It had been heaven, and Faith wouldn’t ever apologize for it or give it back, no matter what.
It was peaceful where she was. The sun had warmed things up considerably and she could hear the soft trickle of water running along the riverbed. She still wouldn’t say she was relaxed, not with her nerves jangling around inside of her like they were. But she was calming down, at least enough to plan out a plan.
She was going to stay outside for most of the day and then she was going to sneak back into the castle and hide in her room. Maybe by morning Willow would have it all figured out and they could just go and get the goddamn Scythe back. Just kick some ass, snag Buffy’s favorite toy, and then Giles and Faith could go back to roaming all over the world doing their good deeds.
That sounded great, just right. She liked her job and she liked working with Giles. They were doing all the right things for all the right reasons and they kept busy, something Faith knew she was going to need now more than ever.
Because she could still feel that soft skin, could still hear the sexy little moans, could still taste the sheer perfection of…
“Fucking perfect little bitch.”
CHAPTER FOUR
“Don’t wanna leave you really
I’ve invested too much time
To give you up that easy to the doubts
That complicate your mind”
~Pat Benatar
Buffy was having nowhere near the kind of day she’d planned on having; it wasn’t going even remotely like she’d imagined it would. She hadn’t seen so much as a glimpse of Faith and apparently no one else had either, at least not since just before sunrise when she’d apologized to Satsu.
At first it didn’t seem to be that big of a problem because although the castle was impressively huge, there were only so many places Faith could be. The trouble became crystal clear though when she wasn’t in any of them. There wasn’t even a trail of beaten bodies or a few drops of blood to offer Buffy any clue as to where she had gone.
To make matters worse, the word had quickly gotten out that Buffy was up bright and early and was totally accessible, seemingly doing nothing except wandering around in an aimless fashion. That had everyone and their Slayer coming out of the woodwork to approach her about some important problem that just absolutely had to be solved right now, and since she obviously wasn’t doing anything significant…Yep, the word was out and Buffy was Slayer-nip.
After a thorough and incredibly slow search, Buffy finally realized that Faith had gone outside. That of course made complete sense when she thought about it. Faith would need the space and she would need to lessen the chance of running into Buffy as she shored up her defenses. It also made the task of finding her that much harder because the grounds were a spacious and sprawling number of acres that Buffy never could remember.
Anyway, the point was she could search from now until the next apocalypse and she’d still have a hard time finding Faith, especially if Faith didn’t want to be found. That reality left her with just two options: she could leave Faith alone and hope she showed up some time before hell froze over or she could simply ask for help. The second one wasn’t exactly a bad option except for the fact that Buffy really didn’t want to bring anyone else into it just yet.
She was torn. Faith really wanted space and Buffy knew that maybe she should let her have it. Of course the problem with that was that space plus Faith always equaled bad things, and in this case, Buffy wanted to talk to her before she went off and began brooding over something that was so totally not brood-worthy. Because although a broody Faith was incredibly sexy, she could also be incredibly hard to deal with.
That brought things right back to square one: Buffy was going to need help and she knew exactly who could provide it. She knew who saw all of the castle’s comings and goings, but she had to wonder just how annoying and irritating it was going to be to get that information.
She let out big sigh, sneaked out a side door and took off at a Slayer fueled run. It didn’t take her long to reach her destination: the big clump of trees that were grouped by the lake.
“Dawnie, are you here?”
The answer was almost immediate:
“Hey, Buffy! Are you Xanderless?”
“Yep, just me all by my lonesome.”
Dawn appeared from behind a tree, topless and still trying to dry off.
“Hi. I didn’t want to flash the girls at him. He’d probably never recover.”
Buffy stared in amazement:
“Holy crap! Dawnie, those are…those are…”
“They’re boobs, Buffy. You’ve got’em too.”
Buffy resisted the urge to look beneath her own shirt:
“Not like those. God, I think your nipple’s bigger than my whole breast!”
“And that’s new how?”
“Wow, those are…big.”
Dawn slipped on her bra and then her shirt:
“Yes, and thanks so much for making me feel even more freakish just in case being twenty-five feet tall doesn’t do the trick.”
Buffy blinked a few times and finally managed to snap out of her trance:
“Sorry. Listen, I need your help.”
Dawn looked at her and rolled her eyes:
“So you thought you’d start off by insulting me? Obviously my nipple’s bigger than your brain too, and again I say: ‘And that’s new how’? “
“I wasn’t…Could you please sit down? It’s hurting my neck to look up so high.”
Dawn grabbed her brush from a branch near the top of the tree and sat down with her legs crossed:
“So what do you want?”
“I need you to do me a favor without asking any questions.”
“Okay. Can I ask what the favor is?”
Buffy was absentmindedly playing with the shoelace of Dawn’s giant shoe:
“I need to find Faith.”
“Why?”
“Dawnie, you agreed to no questions.”
“Sure, but that was before I knew Faith was involved.”
Buffy dropped the shoelace and straightened up to her full height:
“I just need to find her, okay?”
“Maybe, but if it’s to beat her up or yell at her, no.”
“It’s not to do either of those things. We’re getting along this time and I just…”
“Then why did she take off so early and head for…”
Buffy instantly craned her neck upwards:
“You saw her? Do you know where she is?”
“Maybe.”
“Dawn!”
Dawn stood and untangled a huge rubber band from a broken tree limb and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She wrapped the band around her hair three times and then pulled it snug before she looked down at Buffy:
“I don’t have to tell you anything and I’m not going to until you tell me why you want to see her. She was already all upset, so what did you do to her this time?”
“’This time’? I didn’t do...Pick me up, I can’t keep talking to you when you’re way up there.”
“What’s the magic word?”
Buffy looked like she was going to explode:
“Dawn Summers, you are not going to be this size forever and if you keep being a little smart ass, I swear you are going to be very sorry.”
“Fine, be a spoilsport. Come here.”
She held out her hand and Buffy climbed on and sat down. Dawn carefully brought her up to eye level as Buffy reclined securely on her palm, clutching an oversized thumb.
“Thank you. I didn’t ‘do’ anything to her and I am not being evasive. I just don’t want to spill my private stuff all over the castle again.”
“But I’m your sister, you’re supposed to share the…Oh my God! Buffy, did you and Faith sleep together?!”
Dawn’s voice echoed loudly and Buffy winced at the noise.
“Shhh!!!”
“Right, right. Sorry. But did you?”
“Yes…although there was very little sleeping involved.”
“Cool! And ewwww…gross. Not the sex, just that it was you. That is just icky.”
“Gee, I wonder why I don’t share with you more often?”
Dawn’s ignored her, her face flushed with excitement:
“Boy, when you come out, you really come out! But at least this time it’s Faith, which makes total sense. I mean, I like Satsu and everything, but no, that made no sense. But Faith? Well you guys have had the hots for each other since I was a kid and…”
“Dawnie, could you please…”
“Okay, so just how bad are you at this lesbian stuff because Faith sure looked really…”
Buffy stood up shakily, Dawn’s hand not the steadiest of surfaces:
“Stop right there! I will not discuss my se…personal life with my baby sister. There are boundaries and I don’t care how old you are, we are not crossing them.”
“That’s fine with me, I already need a drastic brain bleach from all of the disgusting visuals you’ve subjected me to over the years. But wow, you must really not know what you’re doing if Faith’s face was any…”
“Dawn, will you please just tell me where she went?”
Dawn lowered her to the ground a little too fast, making Buffy list from side to side before she could right herself:
“She said she needed to be alone, so I told her about that pond where we ate lunch that one time. I’m pretty sure she headed there. She mumbled something about staying put until she could motor for good.”
“That’s great, Dawnie! Don’t tell anybody where we are, okay? I need to talk to her.”
“Right, but I’m not twelve anymore, Buffy. I know you’re going to have…’personal life’ with her. Just try to do it a little better this time.”
Buffy slapped her on the shin:
“You are such a little brat.”
“I learned everything I know from my older sister.”
Buffy laughed and kissed her on the leg of her jeans, stretching to reach knee high:
“Thanks, Dawnie!”
And then she was off and running, leaving Dawn to stare after her:
“Buffy and Faith…It’s about time.”
Faith was irritated and bored and wishing she was someplace else. The great outdoors was not quite what it was cracked up to be and she’d already had more than her fill. Yeah, the sun was nice, the birds sang pretty, and the squirrels did whatever squirrels did, but all too soon it was hot as hell, the birds wouldn’t shut up and the squirrels obviously needed some Ritalin because they couldn’t stop arguing over a fucking stick or a nut or a berry or what the hell ever it was they were screeching and screaming about.
She sat in the shade, her back resting against a tree trunk as she pulled up the tiny little rocks that were embedded just under the grass, blindly tossing them into the pond with her mind whirling. Even though her jacket was off, she was still sweating and she kept wishing she was just about any place else.
She ought to be out pounding the pavement somewhere looking for some punk kid who thought being a Slayer meant doing just whatever the fuck she wanted to do. Faith wished she was pulling some young girl back from the brink and getting her to see there was another way to live her life than to fire herself up, then blaze on wildly until she burned out way too soon.
That’s what she was good at: getting them to listen. She did whatever it took to make them hear her, and she never ever let go of them, no matter what went down. She’d explained that to Giles up front, and he’d promised not to interfere, and so far he’d kept that promise.
But she wasn’t making herself useful here. No, instead she tying herself up in knots over Buffy and communing with nature. Oh yeah, talk about a fucking fish out of water. She knew people went out into the country to clear their minds and calm their troubled souls, but it wasn’t doing a thing for her, except making her crazier.
All she was doing was hiding, hiding and getting angrier and more scared by the minute. She’d lost control of herself last night in the worst possible way and she’d put it all out there, the very thing she’d always worked so hard to keep under wraps. For years she’d kept her secret, but last night she’d snapped and now Buffy knew it all. Faith had a bull’s-eye on her, a weak spot showing exactly where she could be hurt, where she could be destroyed, and she’d stupidly pinned it on herself.
She’d known better than to come back, and she yanked up a slightly larger stone and viciously flung it into the water. It skipped four times, but she didn’t notice. She’d caught movement out of the corner of her eye and when she turned her head to look at the cause full on, she almost did a double take because she could not believe the sight that greeted her.
Walking across the field, her sunshine yellow hair blowing perfectly in the breeze was the Golden Girl herself, looking for all the world as if she belonged there in the middle of nowhere. Faith was unable to look away, her breath catching in her throat as Buffy turned her face up to the sun and smiled her patented half smile that had always driven Faith’s desire sky-high.
She kept walked steadily and it wasn’t long before she was gracefully seating herself next to Faith.
“Hey.”
Faith couldn’t look at her. Buffy’s presence made no sense whatsoever to her and even though she’d spent hours figuring out every possible scenario, this calm greeting was nowhere near any of them.
“Boy, I’d forgotten how pretty it is out here. I hardly ever just sit and look anymore, you know?”
And then there was silence, except for the birds and squirrels because as far as Faith could tell, nothing on Earth could shut those annoying little fuckers up. She felt nervous and uncertain, like she was sitting on a bomb that was just moments from going off if she moved even the slightest bit.
“I missed you this morning.”
Said so calmly, but with such longing Faith was forced to turn her head to face her. When she did, she was surprised to find that Buffy was right there waiting. Their lips met and Buffy’s fingers laced through the hair at the back of Faith’s neck, holding her lightly in place.
The kiss lasted forever because Buffy acted like she had all the time in the world. It was soft, the softest kiss Faith had ever experienced, and it was so delicate she found herself totally entranced. Buffy’s tongue gently explored every inch of her mouth and when she finally pulled back, she breathed out a little puff of air into Faith’s mouth, that sexy half smile back on her face.
“I know you’re out here thinking, but I wanted to give you something good to consider. Because that kiss? That’s really how it is, Faith. Just like that.”
She stood casually, brushing off her jeans as she rose.
“There’s a meeting in the conference room at seven. See you there.”
And then she was heading back the way she’d come, all warm and yellow and pure, like some sort of beautiful thing that had just graced Faith with its presence for no understandable reason, and then had chosen to return to whatever magical place it had come from.
Faith watched her until she was out of sight, but Buffy never looked back. She didn’t need to, she knew she’d made her point.
