CHAPTER THIRTY

Faith came to propped up in Spike's bed and chained to the basement wall. Her back was sore, but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle. She pulled, but the chains were tight, really tight, and she knew there was no way she was getting out of them.

She sensed she wasn't alone, and looking off into the gloom she caught the faint glint of red hair over by the stairs.

"How's the face, Willow?"

"Sore."

"Sorry to hear that. So where's my better half?"

"She's in the hospital."

"Oh no, is it…is it critical?"

Willow wanted to smack the smartass smirk off her face.

"She'll make it."

"Damn…I mean, 'Thank God B's alright'!"

Willow remained silent, but Faith didn't.

"Don't ya wanna know why?"

"'Why' what?"

"Why I went all evil again."

"Not really."

The chains clinked as she tried to get comfortable.

"C'mon Red, it's a simple answer: I like it. Couldn't stand bein' Miss Goody Two Shoes for one more second. Shit got so boring, ya know?"

"Whatever."

"I know I let everybody down…which gotta say is a wicked huge bonus. 'Sides, the way I see it, it's your fault anyways. You guys just had way too much faith...in all kindsa ways."

"You're not Faith."

She laughed, the sound making Willow's skin crawl.

"Damn, how hard did I smack ya? Pretty bad sign when you can't even remember people."

"Oh, I remember you all right, or who you're trying to be. You made a couple of mistakes though."

"Yeah, figured somethin' went wrong since I got my ass chained to a wall."

Willow kept going.

"You hurt Dawn. Faith would never do that."

Faith laughed again and then yelled out:

"Hey, can ya send somebody down to babysit who's not so nuts?!"

"I'm not 'nuts'."

"Then maybe you didn't get the memo 'cause…"

"I don't need a memo. I was there the first time and Faith, no matter how bad it got, never hurt Dawn, not once."

"So what's your point, Red?"

Willow got to her feet, but she didn't get any closer.

"My point's simple – you're not Faith."

"Let's see, I look like her, sound like her, got her hot bod, and I know the fingerprints'll check if ya feel like puttin' me to the test. Better start usin' that extra large brain of yours and figure it out."

"I did. That's Faith's body, but…"

Faith shook her head in disgust:

"Fuck, you're so pathetic, Willow. Still runnin' around tryin' to save everybody. What, yankin' B outta heaven wasn't enough for ya? You can't save me, can't even fuckin' save yourself."

Willow said nothing, her face hidden in the shadows as she kept her distance.

"You think you'd give it up after gettin' Tara splattered all over ya. Everybody knows she died 'cause you were selfish. Just had to fuck her and pull her back into the Scooby Gang, didn't ya? Might as well have shot her yourself. Thanks, but no thanks. I don't want the k…k…kinda help you gave that stuttering cunt."

Willow took a step forward, her face plain to see now in the dim light. Her eyes were black, her voice deep as she responded:

"As tempting as it is to flay you alive, I got over that."

Faith laughed:

"No ya didn't, you'll never be over it. It's inside you, just waitin' for the chance to come back out and play…I know, got my own issues to deal with."

"It's lucky for you the real Faith is in there, otherwise you'd find out just what I'm willing to splatter. I'm pretty sure I'd start with you."

"Mmm…scary witch talk. Never noticed before just how hot you are."

"There's a lot about me you don't know."

Faith smiled as sexily as she could, her tongue licking seductively around her lips.

"So what do ya say? Let me go, let you go, and we'll have us a time. Turn Dawnie back into a ball of energy, kill Giles, beat B to death all slow and painful like,  then I'll screw ya like you've never had it before. It's all right up my alley and yours, baby. I'm game if you are."

Willow's voice was her own again, her eyes a clear green.

"Sorry, but nothing sounds better than sending you back to the hell you came from."

"This the thanks I get for savin' precious little Dawnie?"

"You didn't save her, Faith did."

"Jesus, how many times we gotta go over this? One and the same, I just bumped the stakes up a little this time around."

"Giles' friend couldn't see anything but Faith. No spell, no possession, just Faith."

Faith yawned:

"What I been sayin', Red. Just gotta accept I like it on this side of the fight."

"Giles didn't believe that, none of us did. The shaman kept digging and he brought some of his  friends into it. They were able to pinpoint exactly when Faith…"

Light poured down the stairs from the kitchen accompanied by footsteps.

"Will, Giles needs you for a bit of the mojo expertise. I'll keep an eye on this one."

"Okay. Don't let her get to you."

"Not a chance. Couldn't care less what she thinks."

Willow went upstairs and Spike took a seat on the washing machine. He lit up a cigarette and made himself comfortable.

"Condemned prisoner get one of those?"

"Not likely. Don't fancy havin' an eye put out tonight."

Faith laughed:

"Yeah, guess ya got a point, Junior."

"Not too much the dunce."

"So, how's B?"

"Right as rain in a few."

Faith tilted her head and nodded.

"You gonna give it another try since I'm outta the picture?"

He stubbed out the cigarette in a nearby ashtray before he answered.

"So this the approach then?"

"Just talkin'."

"Fine. First, you're out of a picture you were never in. Second, Dark One's still so far in, she takes over the whole frame. Third, no matter what, it's over 'tween me and the Slayer."

"Tryin' to say you don't still want her?"

"Still love her, always will. Doesn't matter though. She loves the other Slayer and she's happy. More than enough for me."

She smiled big:

"Hey, that's great! No more tryin' to rape her then? Good for you."

They stared at each other in silence and Spike's voice was soft and low when he finally spoke:

"Made peace with that."

"No you didn't. Hurts you every time you see her, always will."

"Didn't say I made peace with it…she did. Makes it so it's livable for me."

Faith made a noise like she was going to gag.

"Damn, that's so touching. Gotta tell ya though…tough to keep track with you heroes slidin' back and forth 'tween good and evil every ten minutes."
 
"True enough, but right now we're short a hero. No worries though, gonna take her back from you right soon."

"Fuck me, you're all nuts. My hero days are through, walkin' on the fun side now. Choice comes down to this: you kill me or I kill you. Bettin' B ain't got the balls, how 'bout you, Billy?"

He laughed and stretched.

"Trust me, all got the stones, even Little Bit."

"That so?"

The door opened and the light came on as the group filed down into the basement.

"Yeah, that's so, you Faber bastard. Hope you enjoy your eternity in Hell, know I'm gonna enjoy thinkin' of you there. Not the proper attitude for a hero, but then I'm Spike. Haven't really been able to make the big leap up yet. Oh well, unlike you, I got plenty of time to work on it. Happy torment, mate."

Willow wasn't too nervous about doing the spell. It was far from the most challenging one she'd ever done, but any magic usage now always made her a little jumpy. She knew that was something she was going to have to deal with for the rest of her life and there was nothing that could be done about it.

What was really bothering her about the spell was that it was going to cause Faith a lot of pain. That was something that Willow hated, in fact it made her a little sick to her stomach. She had already handed out a lifetime's supply of pain to her friends, and she didn't relish giving them anymore, even if it was necessary.

Then there was also the unavoidable fact that she was going to be causing the Faber demon a lot of pain too, and that made her way too happy. Sure , a little lust for revenge was only human, especially after the hell this thing had put them all through, but Willow always had to be vigilant that it didn't go further than that for her. And it usually did…or tried to.

Situations like this made it so easy for her to relive the horrible things she'd done in the past. She could still see herself almost killing everyone and she remembered how she'd nearly beaten Buffy and Giles to death. She'd almost destroyed Dawn, she'd hit Anya, and she'd nearly eviscerated Xander and obliterated the world. She hated thinking about that stuff, but sometimes she could think of nothing else.

Doing this spell was stirring up a bunch of demons for her, and she wondered why everything always had to be a pun. She remembered the old adage: "What goes around comes around" or was it: "What comes around goes around"?

It didn't matter, the point was the same. She didn't have any right to complain about her discomfort, not ever. She'd caused plenty of discomfort a million times over and…

"Willow?"

The gentle hand on her shoulder brought her back to the moment.

"I'm ready, Giles. Okay, everyone hold hands and complete the circle. Remember, no one lets go until I say it's safe. We don't want this demon jumping into somebody else. Everybody ready? Here we go."

As she began the hocus pocus, Spike wondered just what affect this was all going to have on Faith. She'd been doing so well, and this was going to be hard on her. He knew firsthand just how difficult it was to live with guilt, to get past it enough to carry on with the business of living.

He thanked every Higher Power there was that she hadn't killed anyone, he doubted she could have ever gotten past that. Still, they were all in for a bumpy ride for the foreseeable future. They just had to make sure they brought her through it in one piece.

A big flash of light made him look at Willow, and he saw that she was now glowing. Her eyes had turned black, her voice was deep as she murmured some incantation. Faith was thrashing around as much as the chains would allow her to and small bolts of painful looking energy engulfed her.

It went on for some time, and Faith was whimpering and groaning as she struggled to escape. Eventually there was a loud guttural, "NO!", and then there was just Faith screaming in anguish. She was clearly suffering, but Willow didn't let up.

After a few more minutes, there was another bright flash, and the energy disappeared. Faith's head slumped forward, her eyes closed, and Willow gave the all clear. Giles rushed over to the bed, his hand resting on Faith's shoulder.

"Faith, can you hear me? Faith…"

"…Giles?"

"Yes. Take your time, you're safe now."

She sat there breathing hard and slowly opened her eyes.

"Where…What's…No…No, no, no…What have I done?!"

"You've done nothing, Faith, it wasn't your fault. Now let's get these chains off and we'll…"

"No! No, leave them on!"

He tried his most soothing Watcher voice:

"Faith, I can assure you there is absolutely no reason…"

"Just saw plenty of reasons."

Willow spoke up then:

"Faith, the spell worked. You're just you again."

"…I get it."

Giles reached for the manacles.

"So then I'll just remove these then, and we'll go upstairs where we..."

"No! Giles, please…please just leave them."

It didn't escape his notice that Faith's gaze strayed nowhere near anyone.

"I promise you, Faith, this isn't at all necessary. Once we're settled upstairs, we can properly explain…"

"No! Get the fuck away from me!"

Giles straightened up, but he didn't move away until Cordelia took charge:

"Okay, everybody upstairs. I'll sit with Faith."

Cordelia walked over and stood next to the "prisoner", and the look on her face allowed no room for disagreement. Angel tried anyway:

"But Cordy…"

"'But' nothing. Geez, give a girl some space, alright?"

They all filed reluctantly up the stairs, leaving Faith and Cordelia alone. She sat down next to her, and Faith tried to scoot away, but the chains held her where she was. Several minutes passed in silence, and it was Faith who finally spoke first.

"B?"

"She's okay. She's probably getting out by the end of the week."

"Da…Dawn?"

"She's fine. She only needed two stitches and right now she's at the hospital irritating Buffy."

There was another silence before Faith once again broke it.

"How long?"

"You've been chained and unconscious for three days, courtesy of Willow. That's how long it took us to finally figure all of this out. Anyway, the short version is that you were 'Faberized'…Xander's word, by the way."

They were quiet again, and Cordelia knew Faith wasn't going to be the one to start the conversation this time around.

"You just saw everyone else. Xander has a broken arm and two broken fingers, Anya has a moderate concussion and three cracked ribs. Willow has a severely bruised jaw, two loose teeth, and an ankle sprain that really flares up whenever it's time to do housework."

Cordelia waited for a response, and when there was none, she plowed on ahead:

"Aren't you curious about the rest of the victims?"

"……Guy should be okay, least in the long run."

"Yeah, but you're leaving someone out."

Faith glanced at her then.

"Who?"

"You. You have a wound in your back from where the crossbow arrow hit you while you were rescuing Dawn, and Angel and Spike beat you up pretty good. You're mostly okay, but Willow's spell kind of slowed down your Slayer healing."

"…I'm not a victim."

"Of course you are. The Faber demon jumped into you the second before Buffy killed it. That's their thing, they get inside someone and control them through their worst tendencies. They dig around until they can take charge, the whole thing usually takes a couple of weeks, but of course it took months before it could control you. It still couldn't make you kill anyone or stop you from rescuing Dawn, and Giles isn't clear on how you managed to do it. He says it took a tremendous amount of strength and love, only he says it with a lot more words. Anyway, it's not really a surprise to anybody that you managed to pull it off."

"Yeah…real hero here."

"Yes, you are and I'm so hoping it doesn't give you a big head. I mean, it's not like I don't already have to put up with all kinds of stuff when it comes to you, I really don't need anything else."

Cordelia reached over and began unlocking the chains.

"What are you doing?!"

"What's it look like? I'm unchaining you."

"Cordy, don't!"

Cordelia placed a hand on either side of Faith's head and forced her to meet her eyes.

"Stop this, right now. Buffy is going to be out of action for awhile, and in case you've forgotten, this is The Hellmouth. We need a Slayer on duty, and that would be you."

"But Cordy…"

"It wasn't your fault, Faith. No one but you is confused about that. Buffy's been asking about you non-stop and going out of her mind because she hasn't been able to see you. Dawn's been sleeping next to you every night and talking to you about every single thing that flits through her head, and trust me when I say you were lucky to be unconscious. The only time she's left your side is when she's been with Buffy. Also, and I'm not supposed to tell you this, she's been wearing your favorite jacket twenty-four/seven. No way are you ever getting it back."

She resumed unshackling Faith, speaking calmly as she did.

"Everyone's been working day and night to help you, and no one's blaming you for a thing. Now come upstairs."

Cordelia took her hand gently but firmly, and pulled Faith up the stairs and into the living room. The first to approach was Xander.

"Faith!"

He wrapped her up tight in a one-armed hug.

"Man, am I ever glad to see you! Friday night drinks on me, and I'm letting that twenty slide that you owe me. You ended up losing two of your best shirts – if it's not shaman fire rituals, it's crossbow arrows, and when you add in the jacket Dawnie sto…The point is you need your money for clothes, and I've got you covered."

"Faith, Xander's clearly not thinking straight because he's so happy, but you and I both know how important it is to pay back loans. However, I am willing to buy your lunch next time, although I'm pretty sure that's just the concussion talking. I'm feeling really emotional that you're alive, so either way I guess it doesn't matter. What matters is that you're back and you're okay. Yea, you!"

Willow slammed into her with a bone crushing hug before Anya had even finished.

"Hey, you! Oh, sorry, I didn't hurt your back, did I? You know how I don't know my own strength sometimes, especially when I'm all excited! I really missed you, so for your big welcome home, I'm going to let you have the green ball whenever you want it…for five times…one time…we'll see, okay? Welcome back!"

Spike stood up:

"Dark One, out on the porch if you got a cravin'. Not that kind, I mean for fags only…cigarettes. Cripes, like I'd try to do anything else. Don't fancy Buffy nailin' me…No insult, totally 'nail' worthy, but I'd never…I'll be out on the porch if you want a smoke, yeah?"

Angel stepped up next and hugged her.

"Faith…I thought I'd lost you. Should have known you were too tough. The gang wants you to call. Fred and Gunn said now, but Wes said take your time and call first thing in the morning."

"Pardon me, I know now is perhaps not the most ideal moment, but when you've the time, I believe I can explain what happened to you, Faith. It's a tad complicated, but…"

"It's not really that complicated. Giles just screwed up the translation of the prophecy."

He frowned as he glanced at Anya.

"Well yes, that is unfortunately what happened, although there's the issue of context which is being somewhat unfairly left out. At any rate, a Slayer was never going to die, a Slayer was going to be lost,clearly an obvious reference to your possession."

"Oh brother, between you and Wes, have any of these things ever been properly translated?"

Giles closed the book and removed his glasses.

"Dreadfully sorry to disappoint you, Cordelia, but it's a great deal more complicated than your high school Spanish."

"Whatever. All I know is if you guys are the experts, well, that's pretty sad."

Xander stood up, his expression goofy:

"Giles, donde esta el bano?"

Willow tried to stifle her laughter:

"Xander, you're asking where the bathroom is."

"Yes I am, Will, but I'm asking with a continental flair. It makes the ladies swoon."

"Uh huh, but considering half the ladies present are gay, one dumped you in high school and the other one married you, I'd say the swooning's going to be pretty limited."

"She's right honey, and why do you want them to swoon anyway? Willow's healing spell worked really well, so with the right position, we should be able to have sex tonight. Or do you have some other problem? Don't let it fester, Xander, let's get it out in the open."

His arm went around her carefully and he kissed her.

"No problemo aqui, Senora Harris."

"Xander…it is kind of sexy."

"Si."

"Let's have sex right now!"

Cordelia rolled her eyes like only she could:

"Hello? Could you two get a room?"

"We have an entire house, Cordelia. I'll bet you wish you'd never broken up with him."

"Oh yes, it bothers me every day."

Anya moved even closer to Xander, clearly staking her claim.

"See? I knew it. Come on, I'm not giving you back."

"Bueno."

"Ooh…this is so hot!"

"Adios amigos. Miercoles, Faith. No wait, what's Friday? Lunes! No…Anyway, Friday, Faith. Prepare to be trounced at pool, as usual."

Spike chose that moment to come back inside.

"Any matches about? Bloody lighter's gone missing again and…You're gonna take her at pool? You can't even give her a decent game."

"Neither can you!"

"Can too!"

"Cannot!"

"Xander, please go back to the sexy Spanish voice. Your real voice is childish and annoying, and it's killing the mood."

He turned back to Anya after mouthing, "cannot" one last time to Spike.

"Si, chica. Vamos!"

They were out the door, giggling and kissing, and only Cordelia had a comment to make:

"Okay, they are just disturbing. Willow, what are the new sleeping arrangements?"

"Um, Cordy you take my bed and I'll sleep with Dawnie. Angel, you can sleep with Spike in the basement."

"What?"
"Hey!"

Willow just managed to keep from smiling.

"Problem, guys?"

"I'll take the couch."
"Bloody right, you'll take the couch! You're not at all funny, Willow."

"Hey, just trying to be 'Helpful Girl'. I know you're looking for that someone special, and you and Angel have so much in common, so…"

Angel turned to the group:

"Is anyone else completely revolted?"

Giles spoke up instantly:

"Quite."

Willow kept a straight face, but she couldn't wait to tell Buffy about the look on Angel's. Speaking of Buffy…

"Faith, I'm heading to the hospital to pick-up Dawn. Wanna come along and give the Summers Girls the best surprise ever?"

Faith jumped like she'd forgotten anyone else was in the room.

"Huh? Uh…Tired now."

"I guess that makes sense. Buffy's in room 419, and security's not too bad, although I guess a Slayer wouldn't have much trouble anyway. So what time should I tell Buffy you'll be there?"

"…Not sure."

"Okay, just a ballpark then. You know, something she can look forward to."

"..."

Willow took a step towards her.

"Faith, she really needs to see you. You can…"

But Faith was already heading up the stairs, and they all heard the bedroom door slam shut. Willow stared after her:

"Okay, that is definitely not good."

Giles was cleaning his glasses, again.

"No, it's not, not at all. I'd say we've a bit of a situation on our hands."

"Yeah, our casual approach didn't work all that well."

Giles nodded:

"But I don't believe any of the other options we discussed would have worked any better. Perhaps all that's required is some alone time, a chance for her to process everything that's gone on."

Cordelia was already shaking her head in disagreement.

"We're going to need a lot more than that, Giles, a whole lot more."

He placed his glasses back in their proper position and sighed.

"I fear you're right, but there's nothing else we can do tonight. I suggest we give her some space and let her settle back in as we all agreed upon. We can assess her condition in the morning and then proceed accordingly."

Spike clapped his hands together.

"Right then. If we've got our strategy, I'm off to watch the telly. Be nice to have the place back to myself."

"Hey, don't forget to take Angel!"

"Sod off, Will. So you know, Peaches, I'm lockin' the door."

Angel did not look amused.

"Shut up Spike, before I stake you myself."

"Pinin' away already, luv?"

"Is anyone else completely revolted?"

"Quite."

Spike headed for the refrigerator, whistling as he went, and Willow just couldn't resist.

"Angel?"

"Yes, Willow?"

"When you said you were going to 'stake' Spike, what did you mean by that…exactly?"

"Grrr…"

"Are you growling at me?"

Spike hollered out as he opened his beer:

"Not your fault, Will. I always bring out the animal in…"

Angel went after him, and Spike just beat him to the basement. From behind the safety of the locked door, Spike continued with his teasing:

"Can't break it down, Peaches. Makes Buffy ever so mad."

Angel looked tempted, then decided it wasn't worth it. Instead he yelled through the door:

"I hate you!"

He turned to Willow:

"I hate him."

"I don't know, that much anger…Angel, maybe you're just repressing."

"I don't have a sense of humor, you know."

He looked at her darkly, and the sight of his familiar scowl was enough to make her smile.

"Yeah, but you just look so cute when you…but not cute in a 'sexy' way, just in a nostalgic: 'Weren't those the good old days' kind of way, because they were, at least sometimes they were, right?"

A smile of his own flitted across his face as he looked at her affectionately:

"I know what you mean."

"Good. You still go all scowly, I still babble. It's neat how some things never change."

He lowered his voice, his desire to speak privately apparent.

"I have to get back to L.A. soon, Wes says we have a bad situation. I'm going to try to talk to Faith before I have to leave, but..."

"But yeah, I know. I won't hold my breath either…not that you…I get it."

"Right, so anyway…could you make sure to keep me updated?"

She patted his arm.

"Of course I will."

"Would twice a day be a problem?"

"Twice a day would be just fine."

He smiled big this time, his whole face transforming with relief.

"Thanks, Willow. I'll probably call a lot too, I'm just…she's just…"

"I know, and twice a day is good for me. Even with extra calls."

"That's great and could you tell Buffy…"

"Tell Buffy Angel's a great big ponce!"

"Shut up, Spike!"

"Or what, poofter?"

"Keep it up and you're going to find out!"

Willow laughed:

"Boys, boys, am I sensing some sort of sexual tension between the two of you?"

"Seriously, is anyone else completely revolted?"

Giles didn't miss his cue from his spot at the dining room table:

"Quite."

CHAPTER THIRTY- ONE

When Willow walked in, the Slayer was sitting propped up in her hospital bed.

"Hey, Buffy."

"Hi, Will."

Willow saw her eyes sweep behind her, looking for any sign of Faith.

"Sorry, she wouldn't come."

"It's not like I'm surprised, I guess I was just hoping."

"Well don't feel bad, I'm in the same house and still barely see her."

Buffy shifted trying to get comfortable:

"So what's the update?"

"The same. She slays and stays in her room. That is of course, until one of us tries to visit her in her room. Then she takes off."

"What about Cordelia?"

"She hasn't had much success either. She did manage to ambush Faith when she caught her climbing out the window to avoid Xander. Faith was so surprised, she almost fell out of the tree. Cordy talked to her for almost five whole minutes, which is the record by far. It ended with her telling Cordy to go home."

"And Cordelia's response?"

"She's still here, so I'm guessing she said, 'No'."

Willow poured them each a glass of water and sat down gently on the bed. Buffy took a sip before she asked her next question.

"Has Faith talked to anyone else at all?"

"Nope, just one word responses to direct questions. She pretty much sticks to 'yes', 'no', and 'maybe'. She doesn't seem too interested in talking or listening. She just slays and sits in her room drinking…a lot."

"What about Dawnie?"

"Faith panics, and I mean that literally, whenever she sees her. She takes off running and Dawn can't get anywhere near her."

"God."

They sat quietly and drank their water, the meal cart rumbling along in the hall with the world's worst food.

"She's getting more reckless on patrol. She still won't let any of us go with her, so Spike's been following her and…"

"Just say it, Will."

"…He had to save her last night. He didn't give me a lot of the details, but I could tell it was really bad. He did say she told him if he ever butted in again, she'd stake him herself."

"Boy, this just keeps getting better and better."

"The good news is she's always waiting for the update when I get home after seeing you. I haven't been totally honest, especially about your release date. Buffy, I think…I think when you do get out…Well, I think she's…"

Buffy poured the rest of the water into her cup and drank it down like it was a shot of whiskey.

"Yeah, I know. When I get out, she's going to run."

"Yeah, I think she is."

"Fine, tell her I'm getting out tomorrow afternoon."

"Okay, but when are you really?"

"Tonight."

Faith sat quietly in the backyard, staring up through the darkness at the stars. She was doing her best to get drunk, but so far it wasn't going too well. She had to leave at first light, and she didn't want to. She wanted to stay with these people she had grown to love so dearly, but she knew she couldn't. Not after what she'd done to them…again.

It was clear now that she was destined to be alone. No family, no friends, no home, no love, just a constant drifting from place to place with no connection to anyone or anything. She couldn't let herself get close to anyone because to do that was to put them at risk. Her track record spoke loudly for itself.

She had no idea how she was going to leave Buffy. Just the thought of it made her feel dead, but that didn't matter, not in the slightest. She'd already done enough damage to Buffy to last several lifetimes…She had to go and she had to go tonight.

Every minute of every day she saw herself shoving the knife into Buffy. Every minute she saw the pain and terror on Buffy's face and the horror and betrayal on Dawn's. She heard the monstrous things she'd said as Buffy stood bleeding in agony as she tried desperately to save her sister's life. She felt her hand poking and prodding in the wound she'd created, while she watched Buffy fighting to stand still under the excruciating torture.

She knew Buffy was going to make a full recovery, but she couldn't face her…she couldn't face any of them. She had to leave, it was the only way she could guarantee they'd be safe from her. They would all pick-up the slack until Buffy was back to full speed, and then it would be business as usual and they would be safe.

Her hand shook as she raised the bottle to her lips. She was going to leave the best thing she'd ever had, and she had no idea how she was going to survive without it. She almost laughed at that because the biggest part of her was hoping she wouldn't live long enough to find out.

It had been such a beautiful life with friends, a home, a purpose, and most of all the woman who made her heart pound every time she saw her. She'd been so lucky, finally finding love and peace and happiness…all the things she'd never believed she could have. Well, the joke was on her because she'd been right all along.

Like an idiot she had thought she'd found her place at last, when the reality was: she had no place, she never had. She belonged nowhere, to no one, and she would no longer be allowed to claim what was never hers to begin with. She was a pretender, and fate never smiled kindly on people like her.

It was doing her no good to stay, she should just sneak upstairs, grab her bag, and go, but she couldn't. She needed these last few hours near her family and the house that she would always think of as home. Here she could feel Buffy all around her, feel her with such intensity, it was like they were sharing the dark night together.

Faith wanted to feel that feeling for as long as she could. She needed it, every second she could gather to herself if she was going to get up and just walk away.

"Why didn't you come to the hospital?"

Faith jumped a mile at the sound of that voice.

**Oh God, how do I do this now with her here?**

"Faith, why didn't you come to see me?"

"…Needed your rest."

"I always rest better when you're with me."

Faith stood up, keeping her back to Buffy.

"Get some sleep, I gotta finish patrol."

"No you don't."

"Won't be long."

"Spike tells me you've been reckless the last few days. The actual word he used was 'suicidal'. Want to explain that to me?"

Faith put her bottle down carefully.

"Spike likes to exaggerate."

"Maybe, but Cordelia said the exact same thing, and I've had visits and calls from Giles, Willow, Dawn, Anya, Xander, Angel, Fred, Gunn, and Wesley all telling me basically the same thing."

Faith shrugged.

"…Just doin' the job."

"Faith, I'm okay."

"Yeah, can see that."

"So you have eyes in the back of your head now?"

That made Faith turn to face her, but she never looked anywhere near Buffy.

"Need to get goin', we'll talk tomorrow."

"You won't be here tomorrow if I let you walk away."

"Only Slayer on the clock, so…"

"Did you really think I was just going to let you take off?"

Faith tried to bluff her way out:

"No clue what you're gettin' at."

"Liar."

Faith was cursing herself for staying. She should have left the minute Willow told her that Buffy was finally getting released.

"Buffy, you should be resting. We can talk after patrol, I'll wake ya up."

"Promise?"

"You got my word."

Buffy laughed, but there was nothing happy in the sound:

"So your word's not worth anything tonight?"

"Look, it's late, I need to patrol."

Buffy's voice softened:

"None of it was your fault, Faith, none of it."

"Yeah. I need to get out there and…"

"You need to stay here and you need to listen to what I'm saying to you. What happened was not your fault. I haven't even thanked you for saving Dawn's…"

Faith's eyes met Buffy's for a split second:

"God...Don't thank me."

"Why not? It was you who somehow did the impossible and overpowered the demon to save her. It was incredible and it was amazing, and it was all you."

"…"

"Dawnie's been trying to thank you herself, but you keep…"

"Buffy…I should get going."

"Faith…"

Buffy reached for her and Faith almost fell, desperate to avoid all contact.

"Let me touch you."

"Just don't, okay?"

Buffy reached out, and again Faith backpedaled rapidly.

"Please, Faith…I need to feel you…Please…for me."

This time when Buffy approached, Faith stood still and let herself be pulled into a tight embrace.

Buffy could feel her shaking, but Faith would not respond. Her body was stiff and unyielding, her arms held tightly at her sides. After a few moments she tried to pull away, but Buffy tightened her grip and hung on.

"Let go, Buffy."

"Shh, it's okay."

Faith continued to stand rigidly within the circle of Buffy's arms, refusing to react in any way. Buffy would not let go, and she continued to mold their bodies together, allowing her warmth to spread over Faith's cold and unrelenting frame.

Several minutes passed before Buffy finally felt Faith's arms coming up to return her embrace. She began crying as Buffy held on to her:

"I'm sorry, B… so sorry…Please forgive me…please, B…"

"Shhh…It's not your fault, there's nothing to forgive. It wasn't you, Faith...it wasn't your fault. Shhh…"

Praying that her stitches held, Buffy picked Faith up and carried her back to the bench she'd been sitting on. Faith kept pleading as Buffy cradled her in her lap and whispered every soothing word she could think of.

When the sun rose a few hours later, it found both Slayers still sitting where the moon had left them, one still begging for forgiveness and the other still offering it freely.

Everything was back to normal, and nothing was. Faith was not herself and Buffy was worried. Faith never spoke unless she was spoken to first, and then her responses were as short as she could make them. Both the Sunnydale and L.A. groups tried to engage her, but she shut them down with what seemed to be an effortless skill.

There were no more nights out with Xander, no more Saturday mornings with Dawn, no more girl talk with Willow, no more phone calls to L.A., no more lunches with Anya, and there was no more relationship with Buffy. There was really no more Faith.

She never laughed and she had no interest in anything. Even slaying was now just something she did, and not very well if Buffy's suspicions were correct. Faith wouldn't patrol with her, insisting that Spike should fill that role. Buffy no longer needed an escort, but Faith kept up the charade despite Buffy's determination that it be otherwise.

"B, ya still need somebody."

"No I don't, but what about you?"

"Cover more ground if we split up. Spike doesn't mind."

"I know that, but that's not the point. I mind and…."

But Faith was already moving off, sliding into the night and leaving Buffy to stare after her. She let out a frustrated sigh as she heard Spike come up behind her.

"You and me again, luv?"

"Yeah, looks like."

They began walking slowly, and Spike knew Buffy was going to ask him. She had to…he was the resident expert.

"Spike, could I talk to you about something? It's going to be kind of hard, but…"

"Know exactly what you're after. You want to know how I deal with my guilt about the things I've done, 'specially..."

"Yes."

They found a nearby bench and sat side by side. Buffy hoped the cemetery would stay quiet long enough for them to get through this talk, she was getting desperate and running out of options.

Spike dove right in:

"Takes a lot of time, that's for sure, but it's not like they say. Not enough time in the whole world to ever let you forget the things you've done. But then there's the people you've saved, the times you've risked your neck for someone else. If you're lucky enough, you start building relationships with people who begin to show you to yourself. They make you realize that maybe, just maybe you don't know everything there is to know about you. Start to get a bit of the balance that normal people take for granted. And that balance? Well, it's everything. You followin' me, Slayer?"

"I think so."

"Nothing ever takes away the horrible things you've done. They stare you in the face every minute of your day and night, there's no getting away from them. But you find there's no getting away from the good either, and so you put your belief in those things and hope they carry you through each day. The bad comes right along, and it burns and hurts all the time. But the good starts to dull the pain, and for a bloke like me, that's the best it ever gets. Big surprise when you learn it's more than enough."

They sat lost in thought, the cemetery peaceful and beautiful in the moonlight.

"Spike…what about…"

"Different kettle 'cause I betrayed you. How'd I get past it? Never did, but you did. You left it behind us, showed me it didn't define me in your eyes. You see me as more than that, as someone who has enough good in him to be forgiven for what's truly unforgivable. Don't know how you did it, but I know it's true, and it lets me live with it."

He had to stop for a minute, it wouldn't help her if he started crying like a baby.

"Now this thing with your honey, it's tricky. Up here she knows it wasn't her, but it was her hand, her mouth, her thoughts. Demon used what's inside her, what she fights against every minute of her life. She's afraid she's lost control now, like those animals that get a taste for human flesh. That's what she thinks she is now: an animal who just might rip her handler's arm off. Not an easy place to live in, not an easy place to get out of either. Have to have courage and you have to have help. Dark One's got that and more. Just have to make her let time give her back the good things in herself. She won't make it easy, she can't, but she's got more than enough stones to pull clear."

Buffy sat looking at him.

"You are truly the most amazing man."

"What, you just gettin' that now?"

"No William, I got that years ago."

He smiled at her:

"So you did. First one to ever think so, 'cept me mum."

He lifted her hand for a quick kiss.

"Listen, go get your girl. Suspect like you she's just sitting in the backyard tryin' to drown her troubles, 'stead of takin' it out on the uglies in the night. I'll play Slayer, even though I'm completely knackered from patrolling every bloody night. Thinkin' maybe I should go out on strike, then where will you lot be?"

"Just be careful, okay?"

"No worries, 'bout me or your better half. Guarantee she'll make it. She's got you, and I know firsthand just what a difference that makes."

She smiled, feeling better than she had in weeks.

"I love you, Spike."

"Know you do. Blessin' of my life…Go on now Buffy, go help Faith. We all need our girl back, not nearly as much fun without her."

She hugged him and then took off. He smiled as he watched her go.

"Better be ready, Dark One. Slayer's on a mission."

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

The night was clear and it was quiet, the kind of quiet that let a person just sit and ponder everything they'd ever done.

"Is this how you patrol now?"

Faith was sitting in a chair in the backyard and at the unexpected sound of Buffy's voice, her body jerked hard enough to knock her bottle of whiskey to the ground.

"Fuck! Scared me."

"Well now you know how it feels, because you've been scaring me for weeks."

Faith bent down to salvage what she could, but more than half of the liquid had poured out onto the ground.

"Could you stop worrying about the alcohol and explain…"

Faith took a huge drink:

"Just takin' a break."

"From your exhausting twenty minute patrol?"

She stood up:

"I'll get out there."

"Sit down, Faith."

Faith took another sip.

"No, it's good. I'll…"

"I swear to God, if you don't sit back down…"

A brief glance at Buffy had Faith sitting down.

"Okay, what is this?"

"…Is what it is, B."

She followed that profound statement with another big gulp of her whiskey.

"Oh that's great, Faith, really. That's just the kind of answer we need."

"So I skipped out on a patrol. Not a big deal."

Buffy snatched the bottle from Faith's hand and hurled it against the fence.

"It's not? Well let's see if I can find something that is a big deal. Hmm…there are just so many things to choose from…where do I start?"

"Buffy…"

"How about you refusing to patrol with me? Or the way you keep ignoring everyone who loves you? Not big enough? What about you not touching me since I got hurt, or how about you being so consumed with guilt that you have to drink until you pass out? Any of those things sound like a 'big deal' to you?"

"…"

"Because I'll tell you what I think, Faith: I think it's all a big deal! In fact, I don't think deals can get any fucking bigger than this!"

"B, just calm down."

"'Calm down'? Oh, I'm too worked up, too emotional for you, that's the problem? And here I thought you spending all day doing nothing, then drinking yourself to sleep every night like a goddamn drunk was the problem."

"…"

"I've been calm for weeks, and guess what, Faith? Calm isn't working, calm is killing you, and we're not going to do calm for one more fucking second!"
 
Faith stood up:

"Not gettin' into this with you."

"Yes you are."

Faith tried to go around her, but Buffy pushed her back.

"You're not going anywhere."

"B, you need to cool down."

Buffy laughed:

"You don't have a clue what either of us needs right now."

Faith was silent, her stare focused on the ground.

"…Look, I'll just go patrol, okay?"

"No, not okay."

"Buffy, what do you want?"

"I want you to spar with me."

Faith took a step back.

"No."

"Why not? We obviously need to get some things out, let's go."

"No, I'm not doin' that."

For the first time since Buffy had been stabbed, she could feel Faith through their Slayer bond. It wasn't faint either. Faith was right there, all complete with a nearly unbearable jumble of every painful emotion she was feeling, and Buffy wanted her to stay out in the open.

She began hitting Faith lightly, the blows designed to irritate rather than inflict pain, and Faith's reaction was one of outright panic:

"I'm gonna patrol!"

Buffy stepped into her path:

"Not unless you go through me first."

"B, just back off and…Ow!"

"Oops…wanna get payback?"

"…Not gonna do this."

Buffy tagged her again.

"Why not? We love sparring together."

"Let me by."

"Or what? You gonna hit me, Faith?"

Buffy stepped up close and gave her a little shove.

"Do it, F."

"This is isn't funny. Step aside, Buffy."

"Make me."

"Will you just get…Ow!"

"Ouch, now that looked like it stung."

"Not doin' this."

Buffy said a silent prayer that she was taking the right approach, and then escalated things by knocking Faith to the ground.

"Buffy, please…just stop."

"Not gonna. Not unless you make me."

Faith got to her feet slowly and she looked terrified. Buffy steeled herself to continue and lashed out, her fist connecting solidly with Faith's chin. Her head snapped back and she staggered, almost falling down.

"Fuck! I am not fighting you!"

Buffy was bouncing in place on her toes, her hands held at the ready like a boxer.

"And I'm not asking you to. I'm simply asking you to give me a decent workout, which by the way, you could use even more than me."

"Okay, listen to…Ow! Damn it, I…Ow! Will you stop hitting…Ow!"

"God, you're like the world's most annoying punching bag."

Faith's wiped some blood from her lip and her hand shook slightly when she saw it.

"Knock it off…OW! Fuck, that hurt!"

"Well, what do you expect when you leave your hands down?"

"My fucking hands are down because I'm not…Shit!"

The blow connected with Faith's jaw, swiveling her head to the side.

"Boy, you're gonna be wicked sore, F. Not me though. You haven't laid a finger on me."

"Okay B, I've had enough of this."

Buffy's fist caught her on the cheek and rocked her backwards.

"Sorry baby, but in sparring…might makes right, and I am so totally right right now."

"Have you lost your…OW! Goddamn it, stop hittin' me in the fucking face!"

The smile Buffy gave her was not at all comforting.

"Make me."

"..."

Faith sat in the chair, determined to end the confrontation, but Buffy had other ideas. One well placed kick had Faith flying backwards to land on the ground with now random pieces of wood raining down on her.

She stood up, brushing chair pieces from her clothes:

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm sparring with you."

"This is…I'm not…"

Faith hit the ground again, this time hard enough to knock the wind out of her.

"Yes you are. Now get up, Faith. It'll be fun and you definitely need to find the fun."

Faith was mad, Buffy could see it, but it wasn't nearly good enough. She wanted to make her lose control and prove to Faith that she wasn't going to rip her handler's arm off at the first opportunity. Buffy had to make her see that she wasn't a monster now, she had to make her see that she was just Faith.

She was on her feet, but she still wasn't fighting back, and Buffy knew she was going to have to ramp it up.

"Wow, you're actually scared to spar with me. Is that why you haven't been patrolling, because you're scared of the vamps now too? What's the matter…can't the crazy Slayer handle it?"

"Just shut up, B."

"Make me, F."

Faith tried to sidestep around her again, but Buffy still blocked her way.

"Get outta my way!"

Buffy punched her hard on the jaw, then followed up with a blow to the stomach that moved her back a couple of paces.

"What exactly is the problem here, Faith? Can you only hit back if I can't move? Do you need a knife now  to do things right?"

Buffy watched as the pain just flooded Faith's face.

**God, please let this be right.**

With that silent prayer repeating in her head, Buffy kept going:

"So come on, aren't you supposed to be the 'Big Bad'? Well, let's see some 'Big Badness' then."

She hit Faith with a flurry of punches, knocking her all around the yard until Faith fell over the birdbath to the ground.

"Okay, I'll tell you what, I'll let you have a knife. Can you do something then?"

"…B, please…please stop."

"I can't believe this, a knife's not enough? Okay, what if I promise not to use my legs? Or how about if I let you tie one hand behind my back?"

Faith got to her feet:

"Enough! Buffy, please…"

Buffy delivered a series of blows that only stopped when Faith went down on one knee.

"Better do something besides beg. I just found out recently that never works."

The tears filled Faith's eyes as she stood, but Buffy refused to let them stop her:

"Oh come on tough girl, tough it out."

"Shut your fucking mouth!"

Buffy stepped up close again and got right in Faith's face.

"Make me, F."

Faith stepped back, the pain and anger radiating off of her in almost visible waves. She was standing ramrod straight, her hands clenched into fists at her side, every muscle tensed as a few of her tears trickled down her cheeks.

Buffy felt awful, but she believed this was what Faith needed. If she was wrong…well, the damage was going to be irreparable. But Buffy was the Slayer, and she made all of her most important decisions based on her instincts. Right now those instincts were screaming at her to keep pushing, and so she was pushing as hard as she could.

"What, still can't do it? Gee, how can I help you? Hey, I know! Let me get Dawnie out here! You can tie her up and…"

Buffy saw the blow coming, but she made no move to avoid it. Faith's slap caught her hard on the right cheek.

"Don't you ever say that to me again."

"Or what? Gonna give me another scary bitch slap if I do?"

Faith's anger flared, then disappeared as guilt and regret replaced it.

"B…God, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hit..."

Buffy's punch made Faith stumble back.

"Still scared, huh? I guess it's harder when I'm free to move around and not bleeding to death."

"…"

"This is embarrassing, F."

"I can't…I can't do…Ow!"

Buffy unleashed a combination, then stood over her.

"Get up, you coward."

When she finally made it back to her feet, steam was pouring from Faith's ears and she was ready to blow. Her body was coiled to spring into action, and her eyes were blazing with pain and anger.

Buffy had upset Faith, but she had also enraged the Slayer in her and that was exactly what she wanted. She knew firsthand just how hard it was to stay in control when the Slayer was angry…it was almost impossible without some time to calm down. Buffy wasn't going to give Faith that time because "calm time" was over. Instead, Buffy was going to shove her right over the edge.

"God, you're pathetic. No wonder all you do now is drink. You're scared of vampires, you let demons take control of you…You can't even spar with me anymore. You're a total disgrace as a Slayer."

Faith was so still, she looked like she was made of stone.

"What do you think about all day and night, Faith? All the people you've hurt and tortured and killed? All those good times you had?"

Her face was totally blank, but Buffy knew her and she knew Faith was barely hanging on.

"Breaking bones, punching people, stabbing me, betraying all of us again and again. I guess that's all you're good for now; lucky you enjoy it so much."

Faith's eyes never left her and Buffy went for the kill:

"You know what I think? I think it really is going to take Dawnie to get you to do something.  Want me to go get her so you can tie her up and cut her a new Joker…"

Buffy found herself flying through the air, only to land with a bone jarring thud as she crashed hard to the ground. Before she could even move, Faith was looming over her, looking every inch the furious Slayer.

Her eyes were filled with anger and the promise of violence, and anyone else would have been terrified to find themselves pinned firmly in their gaze. But Buffy wasn't "anyone else" and she smiled at the sight.

"Get up, Buffy. Can't spar if you're layin' on your ass and I really wanna now, so get the fuck up."

"It's about time. I thought maybe you'd forgotten how."

"Trust me, I remember and I'm gonna be happy to prove it to ya."

Buffy placed her hands on either side of her head and flipped herself up into a fighting stance.

"First one to say 'uncle'?'

"In your case, first to say 'bitch'."

"That sounds fair. Let's do it, F."

They fought for a long time, neither really able to gain a clear advantage.

"Truce, F?"

"Works for me."

They collapsed side by side onto the grass, looking up at the stars as they caught their breath. They were sweaty and sore, but for the first time since she'd been possessed, Faith felt almost clean. She reached over and linked her hand with Buffy's, neither saying a word as they continued staring up at the night sky.

"Wish I could say that fixed everything."

"I wish you could too."

"Helped a lot, though."

"Faith…"

"B, let me talk, okay?"

"Okay."

A few minutes passed before Faith spoke up again, and her eyes never left the stars.

"I don't know if I can get past this. It's…Everything's come back to me, and I can barely stand it. Feels like I'm drownin' in every horrible thing I've ever done, and I can't stop seeing the look on your face when I shoved the knife in."

"You didn't…"

"Yeah, I know…demon did that. But B, it's my hand I feel holding the knife,  my voice I hear saying…my eyes looking at  Dawn….my fingers hurting…"

She pulled her hand away from Buffy.

"I need some time…I need to be by myself for a while."

Buffy sat up:

"No."

"B, I need to think about…"

"No, you've already done too much thinking."

"Try and understand."

"I do understand. You want to leave me."

Faith sat up and looked at her then:

"I can't stay here."

"Faith, the last thing you need is to go off by yourself."

"I'm leavin' tomorrow."

"…For where? L.A.?"

"No."

Buffy was fighting the panic she could feel building inside.

"Then where?"

"I'll stay at the motel for a few, then we'll see."

"We'll see what? Just how miserable you can make yourself?"

"B…"

Buffy couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"Faith, please listen to me. Let's you and I go away for awhile. We'll go somewhere nice and just relax. You can do all the thinking you want, I'll bring books and actually read them. You'll have all the quiet you need, I promise."

"…I can't."

"Please don't do this, it's a huge mistake."

"If it is, it's got a shitload of company."

"I don't want you to go."

"I'm sorry, B. I have to."

Willow stood in the doorway staring at Buffy. She was lost in thought and looked miserable as she sat on her bed. She was clutching Mr. Gordo to her like he was her last friend on Earth, but he wasn't, not even close.

"Knock, knock."

"Oh hi, Will. How's it going?"

"Hey, that's my question for you."

Buffy scooted over to make room, and Willow plopped down next to her.

"So, how are you doing?"

"I've been better. Six days and not one word."

"Maybe that's good news, Buff. Maybe it means she's doing what she needs to do to get past this."

"Maybe."

"Did you go by the motel?"

Buffy leaned back to stare at the ceiling:

"No, I'm trying to give her the space she asked for. She said she'd call."

"So when do you think she'll call?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, probably better."

Willow couldn't figure out how to ask, except to just ask:

"Are you sure she's still at the motel?"

"Yes."

"But what if…I mean, I could do a locator spell if you want."

"She gave me her word, Will. She won't sneak off."

"Nope, she definitely won't if she promised."

Buffy tossed Mr. Gordo onto the chair by the bed.

"I'm doing my best to be all grownup here, but I know this is no good. I should have never let her go, I should have made her stay."

"Buffy, how could you have stopped her?"

"I could have chained her up in Spike's room again."

"You know that wouldn't have worked."

"Well, this isn't working either! I'm just sitting around waiting while I lose her."

Willow did her best friend duty, at least she tried to:

"You're not going to lose her."

"This isn't a normal person asking for some time to think things through. This is Faith, with a bunch of pain and guilt just pounding at her every second of the day and night."

She got off the bed, clearly wishing there was something she could slay or at least pummel.

"How much is she supposed to take? It's not fair this keeps happening to her, she doesn't deserve it. Her whole life's been filled with hurt and pain, and she keeps trying so hard to get past it. But I know her, Will, and this is too much. She's all alone, beating herself up while she thinks of some crazy plan to leave me for good."

Buffy began crying, and Willow was off the bed in an instant. She folded her into a hug, and Buffy clung to her tightly.

"What am I going to do if she decides to leave?"

"You're going to stop her."

"What if I can't? How can I live without her?"

Willow pulled back just far enough to look her in the eye.

"Buffy, if she tries to leave, you're going to stop her. You'll know what to do, and we'll all help you. We love Faith, and we'll do whatever it takes to get her through this. I promise you that we won't let her go, no matter what…Now come on, let's hope for the best until we know for sure it's the worst."

It took Buffy a minute to stop crying, but then she nodded.

"You're right, we'll stop her. Sorry, I think I used your shoulder as a Kleenex."

"Oh that's okay, it's your shirt anyway."

Faith was sitting in the dark motel room staring at nothing. She'd been going over it all week, and as much as she wanted to, she could find no other answer…she had to get out of Buffy's life. She was just bad luck and pain for anyone she got close to, and it was only a matter of time before she got someone she loved killed.

The question now was: how could she get Buffy to let go? She would never understand, and Faith knew she would try to hang on, no matter what. Maybe she could somehow convince her that she didn't really love her anymore?

"Yeah right, how fuckin' lame is that?"

She was stumped. She had no idea what to do, but she did know whatever it was, she had to do it before she left. If she didn't make the break in Sunnydale, Buffy would simply come after her and she'd find her easily with the help of Willow's locator spells..

But what could she do? Nothing was standing out as the solution, no matter how hard she thought about it. The best she could come up with was that she was going to have to dig up her old mask and put it back on.

She was going to need to be cold, distant, and uncaring. She didn't want to be that Faith again, but she had to be for everyone else's sake. She loved them too much to keep putting them in harm's way.

It was time to cut her losses and move on, and it was time to break Buffy's heart. She was going to make it seem like she didn't give a shit about any of them, especially Buffy. She'd done it before, she could do it again.

**Ever think it's so easy 'cause that's who you really are?**
**Murderer, sadistic bitch, rotten right down to the core.**
**You such a fucking piece of nothing.**

No wonder everybody hated the old Faith…she could really bring the pain.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Buffy was wandering somewhat lethargically around the cemetery. It was a slow night, and she wasn't in the mood for patrolling anyway. What she was in the mood for was hiding out in a dingy motel room while…

"Well, well, well, look what the patrol dragged in."

She whirled around, her eyes drinking in the sight as if she could never be quenched.

"Faith."

"B."

One letter and Buffy felt like her world was returning to normal.

"How are you?"

"Five by five. You?"

"I'm better now."

She moved to hug her, but Faith held up a hand:

"Better hold off on that."

Buffy didn't like anything she was seeing. Faith was stiff , her muscles bunched with tension, her eyes revealing nothing but despair. She was pulling out all the stops to look relaxed, but Buffy could see right through her.

This was it: Faith was going to try and end things between them, and Buffy braced herself. She wasn't going down without an epic fight.

"So, B…"

"So, F…"

Faith ignored the sarcasm.

"Decided I need to be alone."

No niceties, no attempt to soften the blow. Faith was going right for it.

"You've been alone for a week now, and you look worse than when you left. I think it's safe to say that 'alone' has it in for you."

Faith continued on as if Buffy hadn't spoken:

"What we had was nice, but now I need…"

"You still don't have the first clue what either of us needs."

Moving with Slayer speed, Buffy grabbed her and kissed her…hard. Faith struggled at first, but she was soon kissing Buffy back with an intensity that set them both on fire. When they finally parted shakily, Buffy kept her arms locked firmly around her.

"Faith, just let yourself feel this."

She kissed her again, and Faith melted into her. She pulled Buffy even closer, her kiss frantic with desire, and then…

"No."

Faith drew back roughly, and when Buffy looked into her eyes, there was nothing left. Not a trace of the feeling they'd just shared was in sight, only a mocking anger mixed with a weariness that Buffy had seen before. It reminded her of the shuttered expression Faith used to wear in the old days. She'd hated it back then and seeing it now broke her heart.

"Was all mistake from the get go, and I'm not doin' it anymore. It's over, B."

"Faith, don't do this."

"Not workin' for me. Want me to stick outta pity?"

"No, I want you to stick because you love me."

Faith smirked:

"Yeah, maybe I do, but nowhere near  enough to make it worth this crap."

"This isn't the way, Faith. Don't let your guilt win."

"B, c'mon. Shit happens. Just gotta deal and move on."

They stood staring at each other, and Buffy shook her head:

"You don't have to do this. Just stop for a second, there are other ways to…"

Faith picked some lint off of her jacket, looking bored in the extreme:

"Probably are, but I don't give a fuck. I know it's gonna be kinda tough, so I'm hangin' for a few, let ya get used to the idea. Last thing I want's you tryin' to tag along. Lookin' for a clean break when I go."

"You're looking for a 'clean break'? Okay, I know you're upset, but you can't really believe that's possible. You and I are so far past a 'clean break'…So is this what you came up with? You're actually going to try to convince me that you don't love me anymore?"

"B…Look, I care about you, course I do, just not enough to deal with all of this shit. I been hangin' here way too long as it is, it's past time I motor. You need to find somebody who loves you and can give ya what you need."

"Wow, that's such great advice, F. Any idea what I should do when I find that person and she acts like a lying asshole?"
 
Faith casually yawned and stretched:

"Don't shoot the messenger. Just tryin' to help."

"Is that what you're doing?"

"Gonna swing by the house tomorrow and grab my stuff, so…"

Buffy folded her arms across her chest:

"Oh you are, are you?"

"…it'd be easier if you weren't hangin' around."

"I'll bet it would be. Tell you what, Faith…I'll make sure Dawnie's there to see you off. You can explain to her how you just need to motor, nothing personal."

Faith looked stricken at the suggestion, her façade slipping completely as she struggled to regain control.
 
"What's the matter? Won't that be 'easier' for you?"

"…Be easier if nobody was there."

Buffy's anger was apparent:

"Well, guess what, Faith? I don't give a damn what would be 'easier' for you. I know that you hate yourself right now and I know you don't know what to do, but trying to run away like a coward? I'm not impressed."

"Well, too bad 'cause this is me."

"So now you're so weak you can't face what a demon made your body do or even look me in the eye when you try to break up with me? This is you, Faith? Someone who just keeps doing the wrong thing even when they know it's wrong?"

Everything Buffy said hit its target, she could see the blows landing, but Faith kept going anyway.

"Stop makin' a big deal. We had some fun, sure, but now it's time to shake things up a little. Can't live your life stuck in a rut, leastways I can't. Gotta see who else is out there."

"Am I supposed to get from that statement that you're tired of me?"

Faith shrugged:

"Not you, B. Just tired of bein' tied down. Fuck, take it as a compliment I stayed as long as I did. Definitely a record for me, but much as I liked the sex, I need some variety and spice, ya know? It's not you, just how I am."

"Are you aware that you're not even close to convincing me? I know you, Faith, and if this is the best you've got, you might as well stop right now. Come home with me and let's deal with this together."

"You wanna deal, Buffy? Go ahead, I don't have to do shit."

"No, you just have to stand there and pretend you don't feel anything."

"Don't wanna hurt ya, but all I feel's bored and horny. Wanna fuck right here with no strings, I'm all over that. But I'm not feelin' anything else, that's all on you."

Buffy took a step forward, her face softening as she tried again:

"Faith, don't do this, it's not fair to either of us. Please, just talk to me, let me help you. We can work this out together if you'll just…"

"Fuck me, can ya wrap it up now? Got important stuff I gotta do."

Buffy said nothing for several seconds and when she did finally speak, her voice came out deadly serious:

"Fine, here's the wrap-up: This isn't going to work. I'm going to fight you all the way. Be as cold and as mean as you want to be, it won't change a thing. I know you love me, and I know you want to be with me more than you've ever wanted anything in your life."

Faith laughed and shook her head:

"Man, you always so conceited when somebody dumps ya?"

"It's not your fault that I got hurt, it wasn't you who did those things. What is your fault is that I'm being hurt right now. You're hurting me on purpose, and the only demons I see are your own personal ones. You're not only letting them hurt me, you're helping them  do it."

"Ya don't like it? Works good 'cause we're through."

"I can't stop you from trying to do this, but I can make you a promise: it'll never work. I will absolutely kick your ass, you don't have any idea what I'm willing to do."

 Faith was clearly not pleased:

"Not lookin' for some big battle. It's called a 'break-up', Buffy, and…"

"If you don't want a big battle, then you'd better stop right now because once this gets going, it's going to be a war. You won't win, Faith, I won't let you. Just come back home with me where you belong."

Faith exploded, her voice echoing around the cemetery:

"What the fuck? Don't you understand English?! We're done! We're through! Just fucking accept it and…"

"God, you can be so stupid, it boggles the mind. See you around…F."

And with that, Buffy turned and walked off into the night, heading back to the house Faith so desperately wanted to go to. She watched even after Buffy had vanished into the darkness, everything in her dying to link her hand with the Slayer's and match her stride for stride as they made their way home together. But she couldn't do that, she couldn't ever do that again.

She was no good for Buffy, she was no good for any of them, and that was just the truth of it. She was going to have to deal with Buffy's "whatever" for a couple of days, and then she would leave Sunnydale forever and never look back. That thought made her laugh right out loud; who was she trying to kid? All she was ever going to do was look back, every second from here on out for the rest of her life.

It didn't matter, she had to let Buffy go. She had to let her find someone to love who wouldn't put her life at risk every time she turned around. Buffy deserved the chance to be happy and safe, and that was what Faith was going to give her…no matter what.

She had no idea how was she going to make it without Buffy. She already felt like she couldn't breathe right and…Okay, she had to toughen up. She could save the big sob story for the whole rest of her shitty little life. She had to focus now on getting  Buffy clear, and then? Well then, she really didn't give a fuck.

In the end, Faith knew it always came down to something pretty simple: you got what was coming to you. And what was coming to her was a whole lot of pain, way worse than anything she could imagine, and she had always been able to imagine pretty good.

With one last look in the direction of home, she turned and began making her way back to nowhere.

Faith called first and when no one answered, she headed to the house. It was empty and still, and for that she was grateful. As she approached the bedroom, she could feel herself beginning to crumble…She couldn't do it, she just couldn't.

"No, suck it up and get it done."

Her emotions once again under control, she opened the door…to find Buffy and Dawn waiting for her.

"Faith!"

Dawn ran to her the instant she saw her, flinging herself into Faith's arms and hanging on tight. Faith felt sick.

**Oh God.**

"You're here! You're not really leaving us, right? You wouldn't do that, you wouldn't just leave us, would you, Faith?"

"…Squirt…It's kinda…It's complicated."

"No it isn't! You feel guilty, but you shouldn't. You didn't hurt me, the demon did. You would never hurt me, Faith, you saved me."

"Look…"

Dawn wasn't loosening her hold as she continued to present her case:

"You can't just go! We're a family now and when you're in trouble you have to let your family help you. That's like a rule or a law or something official. Please Faith, you can't just leave."

"…Dawnie, I…I…You should head to your room, I'll stop by…on my way…"

Dawn let go of her and stepped back.

"So that's it? You're just going to go, no matter who it hurts?"

Faith couldn't look at her.

"I'm sorry…but I have to…"

"No, you don't! Why won't you let anyone help you?"

"I…Dawn, I…"

"God, I can't believe you're just going to leave! How can you do this to me and Buffy? Don't you care about us at all?!"

With that, she ran sobbing from the room. Her door slammed and Faith could feel her own heart blowing apart. She could barely breathe and she was unaware of the tears that were streaming down her face. She just stood where she was while the sounds of Dawn crying drifted to her from behind the closed door.

She finally turned to face Buffy:

"How could you…"

"How could I what?"

"Fucking put her through that!"

Buffy hadn't moved from the chair she was sitting in, and her voice was calm and even.

"So what did you think, Faith? That you were just going to sail out of here all free and easy? Dawn loves you, was she supposed to be okay with you leaving forever?"

"Jesus…Buffy, that was…"

"That was just a sample of what's in store for you. I told you last night not to do this."

Faith's hand trembled slightly as she brushed the hair from her face.

"…That's great. I'll just get my stuff and go."

Buffy never budged, her eyes intense as they stared at Faith.

"B, you oughta leave."

"Leave? No way, F. I've never seen a coward pack before, and I don't want to miss a second of the show."

"Buffy…"

"By the way, are you going to take your jacket back from her? I guess you can just go in there and rip it right off of her, although she'll probably put up a fight. See, she thinks it's a good luck charm that's going to bring you back."

Faith didn't say a word. She couldn't trust her voice and she didn't know what to say anyway.

"Can you speak up? Dawnie's crying so loud, it's hard to hear you."

"…Shut up."

"Sorry F, I'm just getting started."

It took her almost an hour to get back to the motel, and it seemed a lot longer. Dawn wouldn't stop crying and Buffy wouldn't stop talking. Everything she said stung, and by the time Faith left, she was barely hanging on. She had never been so grateful for the solitude of her motel room as she awaited the arrival of sunset.

She wanted to avoid Buffy at all costs, but if she didn't kill something, she was going to explode. The instant the sun was down, she was out the door. Somebody was going to pay, and they were going to pay big.

Faith was a maniac on patrol, and she soon lost track of how many vampires she wasted. It didn't take long before word got around: the Slayer was out for dust. Vampires and other demons were actually running from her on sight, and she had to chase more than a few of them down.

Several hours later she trudged back to her room, stopping off at the nearby liquor store to purchase three bottles of whiskey. As the clerk bagged them for her, he tried some small talk:

"You know, you could save a lot of money if you just bought a case."

"Who the fuck are you, my financial advisor?"

He stepped back when he caught a glimpse of her eyes.

"No…I was…I was…"

She slammed the money down on the counter:

"Just shut the hell up."

She didn't wait for the change as she stormed out. She was tired, sore and depressed as hell, and all she wanted was Buffy. She wanted to hear her laugh, wanted to see her smile, wanted to hold her hand for absolutely no reason at all. She wanted Buffy in every possible way and she was never going to have her again.

She'd never watch her squirm, never hear her whisper "Faith" when they were done making love . She'd never feel her touch, never change the sheets with her, and she'd never cook dinner for her and then watch her eat it like a pig.

She'd never fight her for the remote control, never sit through another dumb movie with her, never kiss her bottom lip as she pouted until got her way. Buffy was gone and she was never coming back, Faith couldn't let her.

Her key was wedged sideways in her pocket, and she swore as she struggled to pry it out. She finally managed, unlocking and opening the door while she fought with the torn bag that seemed determined to dump its contents on the ground. She almost let it have its way when she saw the sight before her.

Buffy was lying in bed, looking for all the world like she belonged there, as if she'd always been there. It was hard to say, but it also looked like she'd seen no need to wear any clothes.

Faith felt her body responding as she stepped inside and closed the door. She glanced around, confused by what she saw. Buffy's stuff was scattered all over the room and it seemed as if she lived there.

"B?"

"Hi. I brought some of my things over while you were out on patrol. I think it's better now, much more cozy. So how'd it go tonight? You look a little wired."

"What in the hell do you think you're do…"

She completely lost her train of thought as Buffy got out of bed and walked over to her. Yep, no clothes anywhere on Buffy.

"I think I'm getting ready to have a good time."

"So not gonna happen. Hey, no touching!"

"No?"

"…No…"

"Mmm…guess you'd better stop me then."

Those words were whispered by lips that were already exploring her ear, and Faith shivered.

"……B…can't just…come here…and…"

Faith's shirt was opened and then shoved off, the bag ripping and the bottles thudding forgotten to the floor. Buffy's mouth was at her breast, her hands were roaming, squeezing and caressing until every exposed inch of Faith's skin was covered in goose bumps.

"This button's fighting me."

"Yeah, gotta pull it up first, then…Whoa!"

She pushed Buffy's hands away and stepped back:

"My pants are stayin' on!"

"Hmm…That doesn't seem right at all."

Faith practically ran to the other side of the room.

"Okay Buffy, stay right there. You need to get dressed and go."

"I do?"

"Stop! You stay over there!"

Buffy sauntered up to Faith, and as she wove herself all around her, Faith found talking more than a little difficult.

She had…to…concentrate…

"B…Buffy…this can't happen."

"Faith…mmm…hungry and horny, right? Let me take care of one of those for you."

Buffy was placing tiny, barely there kisses along the skin of Faith's shoulders and upper back while her arms wrapped around Faith's waist from behind. Her left leg rose up and began rubbing against Faith's thigh while her fingernails scraped lightly across her stomach.

Faith could feel her own heart pounding so hard, she expected it to fly out of her chest at any moment. The thought of what was actually rubbing against her leg and ass wasn't helping her calm down in the slightest.

"B…this can't…Seriously B…you…we…need…"

"Oh absolutely, F…I seriously need."

Buffy slid slowly around Faith's body until she was in front of her. She rubbed her breasts back and forth against Faith's before leisurely kissing her way downward.

"…Thought that…button was…was…"

"I made friends with it."

And then Faith's pants were down, pooled at her feet along with a kneeling Buffy.

"B…I can't…This isn't…Jesus…Buffy, I can't…I can't think…"

"Shhh…I've got you."

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Faith awoke to sunlight streaming in through the bedroom window. She smiled drowsily, they must have left the curtains open again. It wasn't bothering Buffy in the slightest. She was in her favorite sleeping position: snuggled in face down on Faith's chest, dead to the world and so soft and warm.

This was one of the things Faith loved best – waking up all wrapped together in their own bed. It always made her feel so…

"Fuck! Buffy Summers!"

Buffy jerked awake:

"Huh? What? What's wrong?"

"I cannot believe you did that!"

"Why? We've done it a million times before."

"You know what I mean!"

Buffy glanced at the clock, yawned and snuggled back in.

"Well it was way past time, we haven't been together in forever. Turn off the light, it's still dark out."

Faith pulled hard on her shoulders, forcing her to look up:

"You know we…"

Buffy smiled a thoroughly wicked smile, and the sight of it made Faith nervous.

"B, don't. Just get your clothes on and get out of…"

Buffy began nibbling along Faith's chest, slowly working her way up.

"It was good, wasn't it, Faith?"

"Not the point."

"Really? 'Cause just three hours ago, it seemed to be all that mattered…to both of us."

The moan shot out against her will as Buffy's tongue swirled around her neck and her thumb stroked her nipple.

"We…we broke up and it's not fair for you to…"

"No. You tried to break us up…"

They were face to face and Buffy began placing tiny kisses everywhere except on Faith's  lips, paying extra special attention to her dimples.

"…but I refused."

Her body slid over Faith's.

"Also, just so you know…I won't ever be playing fair."

Faith's eyes closed as she felt Buffy's legs entwining with her own.

"I want you, Faith…"

The kiss she delivered left Faith breathless.

"…and I'm going to have you."

"No way, B. Just get outta here."

"Sorry, I'm old school and I stand by my woman…or I lay on her…lie on her…I do something to her in this dumpy motel room."

"Funny, but sex isn't happenin' again. Just get your shit and get…"

"You don't want me to go."

"Yeah, I do. I want you to…Oh fuck…"

"Did you like that, baby? 'Cause I can do it again….and again."

Faith couldn't answer, but her moans of pleasure spoke for her. It took a few minutes before Buffy met her face to face. She pinned Faith's hands to the mattress, her legs strategically placed to make it difficult to move her.

"I've got you at my mercy. Are you scared?"

"B…"

She laughed at Faith's expression.

"You're trying to do your 'intimidating' face, aren't you? Sorry, F, you're too turned on to pull it off. All you're doing is looking adorable."

"I'm not kiddin' around here."

"And neither am I. We both know you can't resist me, I can have you any time I want you."

"Buffy…"

"Let's just stop this now. It's only been a day, one day, and you already look so sad and tired…I know you're just trying to do the right thing, Faith, I get that. But the right thing is you and me working through this together."

"…"

"I'm yours and you're mine, we belong with each other. I promise you it'll be okay. Just come home with me."

Faith wanted to, she wanted to so much.

"It's over. Ya gotta let go now and…"

Buffy's lips cut off the rest of her sentence.

Faith knew she shouldn't kiss her back, but it was Buffy and she wanted nothing more than to keep kissing her for the rest of her life. Buffy's lips were so soft and sweet, and her tongue was swirling lightly on the roof of Faith's mouth……

She couldn't let it happen again, she knew that, but her options were limited. Buffy still had her pinned and Faith couldn't really move. She tried hard not to respond to Buffy's insistent and increasing passion, but that was much like trying to stop gasoline from responding to fire.

"B…"

There was no response, at least not a verbal one.

"Buffy…"

She wasn't answering, not with words. She was too busy kissing her way down Faith's body, going so excruciatingly slow it made Faith feel like she was going to explode.

"Just…fuck…just go."

Faith was on fire now, her body jerking and quivering with Buffy's every touch.

"Not playing fair, remember?"

"But…B…you can't…"

She let go of Faith's hands and grasped her hips, pulling her into a more suitable position.

"Mmm…Looks like I can."

"Please…"

"I'm not leaving."

"B…"

"Shhh…I'm very busy now."

Faith lay sprawled on the rumpled bed, still in a daze as she wondered just what in the hell had happened. It was 3:00 p.m., Buffy had finally left, and Faith felt like she'd been run over by a truck. She had done a lot of things in her life and she had seen a lot more, but she had never come anywhere near what had just occurred in her motel room over the last nine hours.

If she hadn't been a Slayer, Faith suspected that she would have been dead or in the hospital by now. Buffy had been insatiable, and she had completely overwhelmed her. Despite all of her vast sexual experience, Faith had never been taken on a journey like the one Buffy had just led her on. She felt like she had never had sex before in her life, and she was absolutely astonished by everything that  had gone down.

It had all been reduced to one simple fact: Buffy had wanted her and Buffy had taken her, in any and every way possible. She had played Faith like a finely tuned instrument, and there was nothing Faith could do except respond.

No one had ever educated Faith so thoroughly in the art of making love. Clearly Buffy had a Ph.D, and she'd set out to teach Faith everything she knew. She had started off by taking all of the control away from her, and then she never gave it back, not even for an instant.

Faith quickly lost sight of all her familiar guideposts. One by one they disappeared until all that remained for her was Buffy. There was nothing she could do except follow her every move and then do her best to hang on.

Buffy didn't ask. She took and she demanded, and Faith could deny her nothing. She did whatever Buffy told her to do, because it was Buffy who had sailed them into these strange uncharted waters, and it was only Buffy who knew her way around.

Faith had no idea where she was, and she didn't understand how she'd gotten there. All she knew was that she was with Buffy and her world was spinning. Basically, Faith never knew what hit her.

As far as breakups went, she was pretty sure this one wasn't going all that well. A relationship on the skids didn't usually include earthshaking, heart stopping, bone rattling sex that was interrupted only by the most tender and loving cuddling in history. That just didn't add up, no matter what kind of math you used.

In fact, just minutes ago Faith had been bonelessly flying, drifting blissfully along, completely spent…until Buffy had reappeared. She leaned over the bed to kiss Faith, and Faith's exhausted body was suddenly electrified by the simple touch of Buffy's lips. Her whispered, "Tonight" into Faith's ear caused her body to jolt to attention as it began yearning for Buffy all over again.

Faith felt Buffy's lips curving into a smile as she became aware of Faith's reaction to her, and that smile stayed on her face as she strolled out the door. It said she knew Faith was hers, body and soul, and nothing Faith could ever say or do would ever alter the truth of that belief.

She had been so sure of her decision just two days ago, but now she was sure of only one thing: she wanted Buffy and nothing else would ever matter more. But she had to get a grip, she couldn't stay and endanger everyone she loved just because Buffy had fucked her up…literally. She still had to leave.

But she couldn't run, Buffy would just come after her. She had to stay put and wrap things up, but that alternative wasn't any good either. It made her a sitting duck because she seemed unable to hold Buffy off…as so eloquently
demonstrated by the little nine hour demo she'd just been a big part of.

"Okay, fuck this fucking shit."

Hearing her voice out loud gave her confidence. She was "Faith", and she was going to toughen up. No more sex, no more giving in to Buffy's touch. She had to stand firm for Buffy's sake, and even though it was going to be a bitch trying to shore up her defenses, she was going to.

Buffy had gone right for her weak spot, but whatever. Faith had practically invented sex and no way was somebody going to control her with it, not even if that somebody was Buffy Summers.

She still had some pride left, some self-control (not last night ya didn't, and today you'd have danced around like a monkey if she'd told ya to) and that was what she needed to center on. She was nobody's pushover.

What she needed now was to get out of the bed and out of the motel room. She just needed a shower and some food, and then she'd be back on track. Sure she'd been a little weak ( hey, define "little", 'cause your ass was so far gone, ya didn't even know who the fuck you were from 7:00 a.m. on) but it was all recoverable.

It could still work, it had to because she had to leave Buffy alone (yeah well, newsflash to you, the mentally challenged…she's not ever gonna leave you alone) to protect her. It'd be hard on her at first, but Buffy would eventually move on and ( she won't be moving anywhere, not without your dumb ass right next to her)…

She struggled to get off the bed. Besides being pleasantly sore, her legs felt like she was one of those newborn ponies who weren't sure if they were going to fall right back on their ass as soon as they tried to stand up. It was tough to move. All she wanted to do was sleep, all wrapped up in the sheets that still smelled like Buffy……

"Get your ass up!"

Yelling at herself out loud wasn't exactly the most comforting approach, but it got her into the shower and then dressed. She was finally on her way out the door when the phone rang.

She stood there debating whether to answer it or not. She was starving and majorly pissed, but in the end her sense of responsibility made her snatch up the receiver:

"What?!"

"Ah…Faith? Giles here. I'm sorry, is this a bad time?"

"Like there's some other kind? Was on my way out to grab some chow."

"Yes well, if it's not too much the imposition, might I join you? I could do with a spot of food myself, and I have a matter of some urgency to discuss with you."

"Not gonna talk about B. Made my decision and…"

"It's not about the grave error you're making, I've another topic I need to bring to your attention."

She sighed and rubbed her neck.

"For real, Giles?"

"Yes, Faith…'for real'."

"Fine, Sunny D Diner in twenty."

"Splendid, I shall see you there."

She didn't want to see Giles, it would just make everything that much more painful, but what choice did she have? She was still a Slayer and he was still her Watcher, she had an obligation to at least hear him out.

Slamming the door to her room, she started walking to the diner, fuming all the way. These people were like gum on the bottom of her shoe: no matter what she did, she couldn't seem to scrape them off.

Giles appeared five minutes after she arrived, looking flustered like always. He spotted her and as he headed over, she couldn't stop the big smile that lit up her face at the sight of him. She covered it as quickly as she could. She wanted to keep the meeting strictly business, and grinning at him like he was Santa wasn't going to help with that.

He clearly didn't share her "business" sentiment, because he reached down and delivered a long hug. With him standing and her sitting stubbornly in a booth, it wasn't an easy thing for him to do, but he did it anyway, his affection for her nothing but obvious.

"Faith, it's so good to see you. How are you?"

"Five by five. Look, not a social call, so cut to the chase."

His smile didn't dim as he slid into his side of the booth.

"I'm aware of the situation between you and Buffy, and it's of great concern to…"

"Hold it right there. Already told ya I'm not gettin' into this, so save the lame ass attempt to…"

He held up his hand to stop her:

"Please Faith, do me the courtesy of hearing me out. I believe you will wish to hear what it is that I have to say."

"…Okay, but it'd better be good. Not exactly in the best mood."

"So I've gathered. As I was saying, the trouble between you girls is of great concern to me. I'm worried about the distraction it might cause when you two are fighting side by side."

"No worries there, I'm leavin' town soon. Problem solved."

"Perhaps, but it doesn't eliminate our immediate dilemma."

Faith tried to flag down the waitress as she blew past, but the woman never even glanced at her.

"Yeah? Okay I'll bite, what's the big scary this time?"

"I've recently been in touch with The Council."

"'Oh boy!' for you."

His face scolded her without his having to utter a word.

"Sorry. So why tell me?"

"There is a particularly vicious vampire making his way to Sunnydale. He has a small but extremely dangerous following, and their stated goal is to kill a Slayer."

"Wish'em luck, only Slayers available are pretty attached to living. When they showin' up?"

"My best estimate would be within a week."

"All B's then, I'll be long gone."

"And that's precisely why I needed to speak with you. I'm not at all sure that Buffy should handle this on her own."

Faith snorted in disbelief.

"C'mon Giles, think B's plenty qualified to take on some vamp and his groupies."

The waitress passed by them again without a look.

"Ordinarily I would agree, but Buffy isn't quite herself right now. Taking that into account with The Council's somewhat alarming attitude, well, I'm worried. I've begun conducting my own research, and so far nothing I've uncovered has managed to set my mind at ease."

"…I can't stay here, Giles."

He leaned over the table, his face grim:

"Faith, despite your personal difficulties, I find it hard to believe that you will not stay and assist us in what appears to be an incredibly tense situation. I'm sorry, but I believe it more than fair to ask for your help."

"Well yeah, course it is. But…It'd just be better if I headed out sooner than later."

"No, it'd be best if you didn't leave at all. This is your home, it's here where you belong. I realize you've been having a rather difficult time of it of late, but running away from all those who love you is never the best course of action."

He stopped himself before she could.

"Be that as it may, this potential crisis needs your attention. I would not bring it up if I did not feel it was of the utmost importance. May I have your assurance you'll stay and pitch in on this?"

"Giles…"

He said nothing  as he waited her out.

"…Really think it's that important?"

"Yes Faith, I truly do."

She rubbed her hands over her face, then blew out a huge breath.

"Fuck! Okay, I'll hang, but I want the fucking high sign ASAP."

"You have my word. Do you wish to shake on it?"

"Nah, you're Giles, I trust ya."

He smiled at the casual compliment.

"Thank you. Now, what's the house specialty?"

"Ya ain't at the Ritz. Hopefully when the waitress brings the soup, her thumb's not stickin' in it."

"I see. No soup for me then."

He studied the menu and looked more confused by the second.

"This seems a bit out of my realm, could you perhaps…"

"Gotcha, we'll do breakfast. That work for ya?"

He closed the menu gratefully.

"I place myself completely in your hands. In point of fact, there's no one I trust more."

"Christ Giles, it's just food."

He blushed and Faith laughed.

"Not too subtle, are ya?"

"I suppose not, but I did try to make my point without being too terribly obvious."

"Points for tryin', but you couldn't fool a blind guy about what color shirt ya had on."

"I believe you're right, but I hope despite my ineptitude, I've more than made it clear that I wish you wouldn't go."

"Comin' in loud and clear."

"Then I'm up to the task in some small way."

"Yeah, ya got it covered."

They sat silently, and then Giles made his proposal:

"Perhaps we could strike up an agreement."

"Whatcha got in mind?"

"Well, for the duration of this meal, perhaps we could both pretend we've no knowledge of the grievous mistake you're about to make and simply enjoy one another's company."

The dingy diner brightened considerably as Faith's giant and happy smile blazed forth.

"Works for me, G-man! Sure is good to see ya. Hey, ever read a book called, 'The Sound and the Fury'? Tough to get into, like the guy writin' it's nuts, but I finally hit the rhythm. Probably helps I used to be nuts myself…Anyways, I'm diggin' it now. Makes ya think about a lot of shit like…Hey! Wanna take our friggin' order here? We're livin' a life too, ya know?"

Next